Need Opinions

[RTG]

So I roughly created this chorus to a song I'm interested in creating in about 3 hours. I'm pretty new to making music (so don't yell at me about no mixing lol) I am currently at a stuck point. I made this melody, and I REALLY REALLY like it. I have some chords and drums. The problem is I don't think the melody fits the BPM. It may not be the BPM but something just doesn't sound right. Maybe the drums are too fast for it. I don't know. That's why I wanted some of you geniuses  to help me! What should I do differently? Here is a link to a video of my project. 

 

[MikeRobinson]

Your problem, at least to my ears, is that the drum hits, specifically at 0:29, do not "hit" at the correct beats.  Instead, they appear to be exactly one beat out-of-sync.  

 

As early as its introduction at 0:37, we can hear that the piano and the drums are out-of-sync:  the hi-hat beat is striking on the off-beat, rather than the on-beat as undoubtedly intended.

 

... and, in fact, when you present the drum-part ... that cymbal-hit at 0:28(!) ... isn't that entire line of cymbal-hits out-of-sync with the timeline established by the bass drum?  

 

When, after soloing the drums, you try to bring them together, I hear a distinct competition (never resolved) between all of the various parts ... piano, and the several components of(!) the drum line ... as to exactly where the "on-"beat is supposed to be.  It appears to my ears that several of them are off by exactly one beat.  Hence, they are working against each other, leaving the listener (and you ...) confused.

 

Fortunately, "easily fixed."

 

[RTG]

3 hours ago, MikeRobinson said:

Your problem, at least to my ears, is that the drum hits, specifically at 0:29, do not "hit" at the correct beats.  Instead, they appear to be exactly one beat out-of-sync.  

 

As early as its introduction at 0:37, we can hear that the piano and the drums are out-of-sync:  the hi-hat beat is striking on the off-beat, rather than the on-beat as undoubtedly intended.

 

... and, in fact, when you present the drum-part ... that cymbal-hit at 0:28(!) ... isn't that entire line of cymbal-hits out-of-sync with the timeline established by the bass drum?  

 

When, after soloing the drums, you try to bring them together, I hear a distinct competition (never resolved) between all of the various parts ... piano, and the several components of(!) the drum line ... as to exactly where the "on-"beat is supposed to be.  It appears to my ears that several of them are off by exactly one beat.  Hence, they are working against each other, leaving the listener (and you ...) confused.

 

Fortunately, "easily fixed."

 

Thanks for the response! I believe I have fixed it with the help of some others!  I still appreciate your help.

[MikeRobinson]

Look forward to hearing the "repair."  I think you've got a really great track going here.