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Leonard Bernstein compares writing vs performing

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I watched “Maestro” last night and was particularly struck by one Leonard Bernstein’s answer to an interview question (around 00:38). 


Q. Lenny, what's the big difference  in the life of Composer Bernstein and Conductor Bernstein?


A.  I suppose it's a personality difference which occurs between any creator versus any performer.  Any performer ... whoever it is, leads a kind of public life.  An extrovert life, if you will.  It's an oversimplified word, but something like that.  Whereas a creative person sits alone [in a room] and writes all by himself and communicates with the world in a very private way and lives a rather grand inner  life rather than a grand outer  life. And if you carry around both personalities ... I suppose that means you become a schizophrenic, and that's the end of it.


I don’t know whether the above words (from the subtitle file) were in an actual recorded interview, or were simply a scripted dramatic fiction, but they encapsulated a feeling I've had for a while.   I gave up performing years ago.  I perform on my own recordings because that is the only way my songs will ever get off the page!  But it remains stressful and I have to grit my teeth and just get it done.

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