Alone

[olivejuice3]

hey just wanted to post a poem i wrote couple months ago that got changed into song form. ill post the poemversion a little later nd you candecide which one yu like better. hope you like it

(V1)

A hole

Alone in the ground

A deserted coffin

No one's to be found

(Chorus)

A lone gust of wind

Brings tears to my eyes

Or are the drops falling

For the one who here lies?

(V2)

In a clean polished box

Alone a body lays

Where is the former owner?

What was her life and old ways?

(V3)

Lonely she must have been

With no one to understand

Her life was not short

But time is like the sand

(Chorus)

(V4)

No pastor on the podium

No friends mourning their loss

Is this what a few brave words

In a lifetime should cost?

(Chorus)

(Bridge)

Is this what a few brave words

In a lifetime should cost?

Alone

[Marc]

I like it.

[nigel lawry]

hey olive

nice stuff.welcome to my world

[Helicon1]

nice stuff.welcome to my world  

Won't you come on in?

(old Jim Reeves song).

[nigel lawry]

sit down and take a chair

[Rudi]

appause  

[olivejuice3]

awww thanx guys i guess im not alone! thanx for moving this to poemstuff. i didn't even see this section before.still a beginner i guess  

[Nightwolf]

awww thanx guys i guess im not alone!

Indeed not. I like it. And don't feel bad about not noticing this forum, this is a new forum started just for Nigel

[olivejuice3]

this is a new forum started just for Nigel

aww then this should be called nigelstuff   ;D

[nigel lawry]

aww then this should be called nigelstuff   ;D

naaaaaaaaa my head would swell   ;D

[olivejuice3]

  is it starting!? haha no just kidding! i love yor poems keep posting now as soon as i find my oldpoem book we can turn it into nigel&katiestuff lol

[nigel lawry]

  is it starting!? haha no just kidding! i love yor poems keep posting now as soon as i find my oldpoem book we can turn it into nigel&katiestuff lol

we could write a book toghether

[olivejuice3]

thats an idea   where and when? haha

[olivejuice3]

heres the poem version...or what i can remember it for...its basically the same thing, but for some reason i think its a lot smooter than the song version. tell me what you think:

A hole

Alone in the ground

A deserted coffin

No one's to be found

A lone gust of wind

Brings tears to my eyes

Or are the drops falling

For the one who here lies?

In a clean polished box

Alone a body lays

Where is the former owner?

What was her life and old ways?

Lonely she must have been

With no one to understand

Her life was not short

But time is like the sand

No pastor on the podium

No friends mourning their loss

Is this what a few brave words

In a lifetime should cost?

A lone gust of wind

Brings tears to my eyes

Or are the drops falling

For the one who here lies?

Alone

[nigel lawry]

hey

that reads beautiful

nice one

[Steve]

I believe the poem does read better. But I also think it could be a very good song.

Well done you...