Live... Again?

[beautifuldisaster]

Live... again?

I'm the light, but for different shadows,

I'm a shadow of different lights,

A perfect muse for an hour,

The one with no past for a stranger,

For the others - the one with no life.

My destiny has been so cold to me

That my tears have turned into ice.

When the dream of tomorrow died,

Giving up for the dream of one night,

In a minute the time lost its value.

But what was the value of wasted days?

The sacred dream in the frame of lies?

No, living up to one moment,

If this moment itself is life.

And happiness is as short as a kiss,

As long as a sigh.

Its remnants last till the snow melts -

The snow that's never fallen.

It's all been inside my mind.

It is like a forgotten story -

I make all that's missing up,

Starting to wonder if I'm still existing.

Living among the dead,

Striving among the living,

Trying to find the truth,

Longing to be forgiven

By my true self. Or just -

Turn the time back and live.

I just want to live again...

[Carnival]

Hi BD,

Nice poetry. I'm not too much into critiquing poetry, just seeing if I can relate to it or not. If I can, I like it. That's as far as I go.

What caught me most was these lines:

The snow that's never fallen.

It's all been inside my mind.

It is like a forgotten story -

I make all that's missing up,

The part about making up what's missing. We all do that. That is mostly how people grasp reality, and that is why we hear experssions about 'living in different worlds'. We literally do.

People are story tellers, and story listeners. That's why 'story' is so important in songwriting. In life, we get factual information on about 25% of what we need, and probably other peoples opnions on another 35%, which help us form our own perceptions. But there's amother 40% that we figure out for ourselves, and never talk about to anyone. But a lot of that, we don't really 'figure out'. Our brains just make up a story that seems to fit with what we think we know, and that becomes our version of reality. And it varies hugely from one person to another.

That's why we have wars. We see the world completely differently from our enemies, and sometimes from our leaders too.

Think about how children get these funny ideas about what is real, and they are able to function without friction as a result. It's all internal, but they have a very different perception of the world they live in. In their world, cartoon characters may be real. That would be a ludicrous perspective in an adult, yet some adults have beliefs that others would find equally as ridiculous.

Anyways, those are the ideas that popped into my mind when I read your lines, even though that isn't exactly what you were saying. I just wanted you to know that if the line rings especially true to you, there's a very good reason.

[Da Prophecy]

Beautifuldisaster, this is good piece that seemed to build up in power as I read. I have no idea of the full meaning of this but I felt desperation growing as I was reading this and I also felt like your first line was the best one (at least it was my favorite). Good job overall.