Jump to content

Your Ad Could Be Here

Musings

  • entries
    15
  • comments
    22
  • views
    11,708

The Beautiful Feeling of Worthlessness


1,009 views

I have been thinking about this for a while. What makes a human pursue “meaning” in life? What is it that brings a sense of purpose to one's existence? It sounds like fancy philosophical anecdotal small talk. But truly, this is at the very core of whatever we do in life. In every single decision we make, tiny or large. That's when I realised that it's not the "quarter life crisis" talking but that it's an absolutely essential conversation I needed to have with myself. 
 
Being a musician is subjective. Anybody can call themselves a musician today as I do so myself. But judgments and opinions aside, what truly makes you a call yourself one? Is it the set of skills and techniques you've earned to show off? Or the music you claim to understand? Or a religion you think you embrace? My pursuit with "meaning" in life has been tied to this idea of musicianship for a while. So it was only natural that this thought came up. And off late, I realised that the feeling of worthlessness has got me closer to the answer I was looking for.
 
Worthlessness, not in a way as to put yourself down or to demotivate yourself. But the worthlessness that I talk about is the sheer acceptance that you truly are a speck of dust in the universe. That makes the world infinitely bigger, limitlessly mysterious and equally exciting.
 
In the universe of music too, I feel the same way about it. In the past few months I've been around with incredible musicians like Leslie Charles and Ramanan Chandramouli, I've been exposed to so much music. Different kinds of music, different philosophies as to what music means to somebody (take the Blushing Satellite album "The Union" for example) and different ways of approaching how to create music. And I realised the truth as to how less I know about music and how less I chose to know about it (less being an understatement). Given that I identify my existence by using the word "music", it was ironic that this realisation was an absolutely wonderful feeling.  Because my world of music just got bigger! 
 
Worthlessness means to have no real value. What freedom of burden to prove anything to anyone, especially your ego! What a sense of humility worthlessness brings. To remove the filters of your own need for meaning and truly appreciate a piece of music (Mama's Gun by Erykah Badu that's been going on loop for 2 weeks comes to mind as I write this). The feeling brings a fire in me that craves for more. 

Feeling worthless, I was left with just the music. No control, no opinions, no me. Just.. Music. How ironic that this feeling of worthlessness made my existence feel like it's worth! Gave me reason to pursue and explore, not to prove something but to do it for the love of it. Now I dunno about you, but that's true love!

 It made my world of music infinitely bigger and infinitely more adventurous! And exploring this world regardless of your musical ability, your musical vocabulary, your claim for the term "musician" makes it all worth it; in other words, exploring music "worthlessly", makes it all worth it! 

That's what people like Leslie taught me, they know this. After all that's where I discovered it. 
I know probably to many, most of this either sounds paradoxical or maybe just some mumbo jumbo. It doesn’t matter anyways. lol

Here's to more music, more love and more worthlessness!
  • Like 1

1 Comment


Recommended Comments

To have a sense of purpose to me is the best feeling, especially when tied to particular gifted-ness God has given me for the particular work He has for me to do.  I agree that it is tied to everything we do.  Its a strong motivator when you feel in line with your purpose and and big de-motivator when you feel out of line with it.  Its energizing particularly when you see things fall into place that tell you you are just meant to be there at that moment doing that thing and that it serves someone else's need and your own at the same time.  It helps prioritize what is important FOR your purpose and gives direction of a degree.

 

I have felt the worthlessness in the terms that you refer to.  Look at all the extremely gifted musicians, poets, lyricists, craftsmen, business operators, managers, vocalists, writers, mathematicians, technology wizzes, multi-linguists, interpreters, architects, and variety of personalities and appearances, the uniqueness of every person then (of course from my Christian Perspective), the stars, the sky, the moon, sun, forest, time, temperature, separation of oceans from land, the power of the waves, the depth yet undiscovered, the galaxies unchartered, untouched, the process of a child coming with all the genetic material prepackaged and the Mind behind it all--that All-Creative Architect of this massive universe.  Absolutely, I feel like a speck of dust.

 

I've not yet explored the album you cite above, nor feel as though I entirely grasp what's going on in your mind, but the stimulation of mind that your blog article theme induces certainly brings me to that wonderful place of awe and simple acceptance of my dust particle contribution and puts much in perspective.  Its an incredible sensation to take it all in.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Your Ad Could Be Here

Guests are always welcome...

but...

JOINING as a MEMBER (FREE) provides you with many benefits:

  • it is FREE
  • you will NOT be sent emails UNLESS you sign up for them
  • + you can interact with posts
  • you can create new Topics
  • you can directly message other members
  • you can seek critiques of your own work
  • you can offer critiques on the work of others
  • after a few posts you can post your own music and videos
  • have your songs/videos considered for Songstuff's official Playlists


×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By continuing to use our site you indicate acceptance of our Terms Of Service: Terms of Use, our Privacy Policy: Privacy Policy, our Community Guidelines: Guidelines and our use of Cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.