Desertrose

Indie, I'd like to read about your info from your coach? Relaxing at ANY time comes in handy but yeah, when singing it's really important, especially if it can stop someone straining their vocal cords. And that's so true...so many unique singers have made good use of what nature gave them.

Mark I agree....way too much autotune these days. It's a bit lazy really I think. Serves a GOOD purpose if used in moderation....I don't have it but have had a producer use it once in a studio situation. Sometimes you do a really good take but there;s just that ONE iffy note. In that situation I think it can be a helpful tool, but not AS an effect, which when used heavily is kinda what it sounds like I think.

That would be a nice ride by bike up there. There are some quaint little stops along the way and I don't think any of those were badly affected. The fires have eased now, thank goodness.

Yes, a shame you didn't get more time to explore that area. Won't be much left after this I'm afraid but luckily the bush always bounces back, as will the people in time.

Sorry for your friend. So many people affected hey. Can't believe it's got this bad. Now a state of emergency? I hope they are just over reacting and taking every precaution rather than it actually turning out to be as horrific as they are worried about. Just found out that the house we were renting a little over twelve months ago there in Emma parade in Winmalee has been burned down. That whole street is practically gone! Feeling so lucky that the twists and turns of life led us away from that area now. I'd like to donate directly to the bushfire brigade.

I know there are a few Aussies on this site. Just hoping everyone is safe wherever they are! My daughter has lost her house in the Blue mountains. My other daughters best friend has also lost her house (Susan Antonio who just joined this site recently) and many other friends of theirs have also lost homes or are being impacted by fires in some way or another. It's been the most frightening experience for our family as most of my family live right in Winmalee where over 200 houses have been destroyed and the crisis still continues with bad weather ahead. So many fires are still burning in different areas. It's just unbelievable that we are seeing this kind of thing so early in the season. My heart goes out to all those people who are now faced with having lost everything they owned, pets...oh that just upsets me so much. My daughters boyfriend braved the fire to try and get in to save their two dogs but unfortunately he was only able to save one. I have so much respect and gratitude for the firies who are out there facing horrific circumstances. Just true hero's. While so many homes have been lost, so many have also been saved, including my parents and my sisters homes. Just praying that what they are predicting weather wise will not be as bad as they fear.

Yep, true, that's another one...too quiet in the mix. Thing is, by disguising or hiding something we don't like, there is no room for improving. It's almost a lazy way of approaching something isn't it? Taking the masks off those vocals forces us to DO something about whatever it is we're not entirely happy with.

Thanks Tom, yep I agree about writing to your own strengths. It can be hard if what you enjoy listening to music/vocalists that you can't possibly emulate, but this is where being realistic with yourself helps. I think if you sing like you really mean it, like your heart and soul really FEELS it, then it doesn't matter if you've got balls or not.

I really enjoyed the above video. Different and interesting and what......no grinding provocatively swinging naked from wrecking balls or any lewdness at all? Miracles do happen.

Greetings daughter!

It's been a long time since I've scratched any thoughts here. I'm feeling particularly irritable due to the insanity of insomnia. 7 am was my bedtime this morning. Anyway. My daughter wants to write and sing songs so maybe I should steer her over here. I think I will. She's my biggest fan, bless her cotton socks. I just wanted to say something about vocals actually, from a non professional position obviously. Others may have much more valuable thoughts. This is just my perspective. I don't consider myself to be a super fantastic vocalist, far from it. I've always hated my voice, wish that I had more balls instead of sounding like I'm five years old, but I'm usually pretty good with pitch and usually ok with putting some expression/emotion into what I sing. I only do what I am capable of and that's pretty limited. I can never be one of those fancy sing fifty notes in two seconds ullulating all over the place vocalists, and I can't scream or get any gruffness or really reach any spectacularly soaring over the top high notes. (funnily enough though I can get that gruffness when I yell at the kids) So I just work with what I think best suits my voice. I think that's the first thing you have to do as a vocalist "find yourself". Be realistic...work with what you've got and make the best of it and write what suits your vocals. You can't sing with a tuxedo vocal to a heavy metal song. Wish I could do some screamo sometimes, just to unleash the demons but I'd end up sounding like a strangled cat. When recording vocals my biggest peeve is when vocalists who are still "finding themselves", perhaps not so confident with revealing their singing voices- to compensate for their lack of confidence, will smother the tracks in effects. Why oh why? Bangs head on laptop. It really doesn't work. That's like piling concealer on a zit from hell. Really. Don't put a condom on your voice....it's really unsatisfying for the listener. This is just my opinion, I know pop songs sometimes use annoying effects. In moderation yeah, maybe, but not constantly. Another pet peeve is doubling vocals...singing along with yourself on a song. Why would you do that? Either you like your voice so much that you want to hear it twice, or you have so little confidence that you can't bring yourself to sing without a friend to hold your hand. No. Don't do it unless for some artistic reason the song calls for a really messy vocal. Again, here and there....maybe? But get them lined up like pretty maids all in a row or else it will be a schizophrenic mess. This goes the same for recording harmonies. The best way to get harmonies sounding absolutely blissful is to take the time and effort (and hey, I'm guilty of NOT doing this!) to mute all the music tracks and actually sing the harmony with the main vocal so you can get it EXACTLY in line. Look at the tracks.... Do they line up? Have you got the exact phrasing, intonations the same? When you do, and the pitch of both or all the vocals are exactly synchronized it can induce goosebumps. Another thing is the right choice of microphone. We all have different tones and there are so many choices of mics that can best bring out the subtleties of your individual voice. I'm not really an expert here with mics, and I know mine probably isn't the best for my voice (so I have been told) but really, if you've bought a cheap mic, it's probably not going to do your recordings any justice. Pop filters are a must...but even with one your P's can still pop. I sing very close to the mic, just what seems to work best with my mic and my voice, but there are ways to hold your lips so every breath doesn't PONG into an explosive blast. Looser lips works better than pursed lips I find and also turning your mouth slightly at an angle to the filter so your breath doesn't hit it directly also helps. PPPPractise. And also I've found that the position of your mouth to the mic can make a huge difference to tone. Too far away and your voice sounds thinner and obviously more distant. (My experience anyway.) Close sounds more breathy, if you want that intimate vibe, but too close and you can get a muffled kind of sound. Singing upward, with the mic slightly above your mouth can calm some of the shrillness. The reverse for having it below your mouth. I think. I confess I have never done that. Experiment. A lot of people I think just turn on the mic and expect that everythings going to sound dandy. Listen back. Try different things. It helps to EQ the vocal track too when mixing. I was explaining this to my daughter tonight and she said "But isn't that cheating? Making your voice sound better than what it really is?" No, it's not cheating. It's making the most of the tools that you have to present the best possible "sound" you can. I think if you are going to offer up something to someones ears that you should present it as best you possibly can, for their listening pleasure. After all if you offer up food for someone, don't you want to present it well, make it LOOK appetizing? Well....I just slap it on the plate, but I don't even pretend to be interested in cooking. Ask someone who will tell you the truth, even if it hurts, about how your vocal sounds. No point in NOT getting real with yourself. Pick the right KEY....oh this is SO SO important. You shouldn't have to strain when you sing. If you feel in the least bit uncomfortable singing, the audience WILL hear it...no matter how many condoms or friends joining the party. Choose the key you feel most comfortable with. If some notes are still too high, or low, modify the melody...don't hang on the notes...maybe drift a little touching on the note you want, if need be. Remember that it's those long drawn out notes that are the most likely ones to go off pitch. Remember to BREATHE before one of those notes. (all the time really) Breath controls pitch. I think that's all I have to say before I once again face the nightmare of my bed,

This thread reminded me of this....if you haven't seen it, watch it. I thought it was brilliant. I guess maybe it's the melody that counts?

Hi, I really don't think the beta blockers are the answer. I've been on them for much of my life and they didn't do anything when it came to the anxiety related to performing. What your body is doing is perfectly "normal'. It's the whole fright/fight/flight thing. Heart rate increases, respirations increase, blood gets pumped to your heart and brain instead of your extremities. It's a percieved threat though and it starts in your mind. Really honestly I feel the only way to overcome this "fear" that is triggering the natural physical response of "threat" is by constant repetitive exposure. Visualising a different (positive - with less uncomfortable physical restrictions) outcome is really important and as much as it might sound like mumbo jumbo it really does help. I do however feel for you guys that have to both play AND sing. I only ever had to face trembling knees and the shaky voice. I always found that after a few songs these feelings would lessen - so maybe it's harder if you're just getting up to sing one song?

Life is a state of permanent impermanence. What’s it all for – this? We feel joy, we feel pain, all in varying degree’s. We get wrapped up in the stupidity of the greed and lust for experiencing everything we can possibly experience in this oh so very impermanent state of being. Then, lights out…it’s gone. Blink. Sometimes even thinking about these things seems so utterly pointless. It takes energy to feel joy and pain, and everything inbetween. Numb takes none. Wrapped in a blanket at the bottom of that hole. Seems like it’s all just about how to fill that time of impermanence. Biding time. Like waiting for the lights to change. Blink. You could pick your nose, masturbate, sing along to the radio, scream profanity, stare into space…. It’s all up to you. Moments. Relentlessly tumbling one after the other. Seconds, minutes, hours, years, decades…. Blink. Lessons? What lessons? What for, who for, what purpose? God’s entertainment? “I wanna see that one do “pain†again. She did that well last time. Thoroughly enjoyed the show!†God sets the stage and we dance. All of us right here right NOW, dancing. An impermanent dance. Fifteen minutes of fame. Then, lights out….it’s gone. Blink.

"Which came first, the garden gnome or the old man who looks just like a garden gnome?" I don’t know why but that thought kept intruding into my mind very early this crisp Autumn morning as I sat inside the car observing the hustle and bustle of market stall holders loading their wares onto trolleys and steadily piling boxes onto the footpath in preparation for the Ivy market. Was it coincidence that the gnomey old man with his delightfully bulbous red nose was unloading pot plants? For some reason today, instead of being focused on selling candles, my mind kept wandering to people’s faces and seeing characters, or just seeing parts OF characters, accompanied by a stream of words that flooded my brain to describe them. It was even worse when I felt compelled to leave my husband to man the stall while I took a break and went for a stroll through the main part of town. “Busking blues man with the crazy hair and cyanotic lips!†I walked past HIM several times and that sentence screamed so loud in my mind that I was almost afraid my lips would inadvertently spit it out! "Yeah! That's who you are, and don't you forget it!" “Pinnochio!†(a fleeting glance) actually made me smile. “Wheelchair woman with resting breasts on knees†“Slim Jim cowboy man with emphysema’d lungs - strutting his stuff.†“Independent white caned blind lady with the elephant charm pendant†(A familiar character I “knowâ€) It struck me that so many of these characters I am beginning to recognize. Of course they don’t know me from a bar of soap but I’ve seen them around and obviously made a mental note of them. It’s been two years of feeling like a visitor to this place – my parents “placeâ€. Somewhere we always used to come to visit, but now this realization that I am recognizing so many faces makes it feel a little more like home. Kind of. I noticed that “busker teenager sitting cross-legged playing the Casio keyboard badly.†was not around. Instead there was “Budding busking Asian cellist girl†suitably set up in the shade in front of the church, but I worried a little about her. She seems too young to be left out in the streets alone. A new one – “busking teenager in too short shorts stupidly standing in the sun belting out tired old pop tunes.†was there today. Saturday mornings sure are a buskers paradise in these streets. I felt myself unable to stop smiling as I walked and observed this crazy spectacle before me. So many colourful, charming, unusual and delightful people. You have to understand that it is not that I am amused in an unkind way at them. I am smiling WITH them. Smiling because they simply exist, in all their beautiful, individual, ways, shapes and sizes. It gave me pause to think for a moment. I wonder if other people are making mental notes too and perhaps have coined ME with a phrase, in their heads. I wonder who *I* am. If I were to take a guess I would be….. “Slightly crazy looking smiling woman staring too long at me - smoking the funny cigarette.â€

“I welcome joy and wonder back into my life.†This is the thought that came into my mind at 3am as I sat out on our back deck, wrapped in my dressing gown looking up at the moon. Closing my eyes, taking a deep breath and exhaling fully I felt a sense of immediate relief. I am back. I wondered to myself as I sat there how many other people might there be, at this very moment sitting out on their back decks looking up at the sky and feeling something similar. As the thoughts wandered through my mind I could imagine how one could feel so overtaken by the moment that they could shed their clothes and in an attempt to soak up every bit of the magic of that moonlight, lay naked under that beautiful light. How crazy would that seem to most, but not to me. There is something about the moons light that is so quietly powerful that it almost IS like somebody is casting a spell upon you. No wonder full moons are said to invoke the lunacy in man, and beasts alike. I think it’s that we just don’t know what to DO with that energy – when we really still ourselves and allow it to be taken IN. For me, on this early morning it has filled me with joy and a certain sense of peace. “Moon kissed leaves gently dancing in the breeze†Seductively, almost undulating in their dance. Shimmering, like tiny diamonds - that light. Sprinkled in the tree tops. And funny too looking up at the tree’s surrounding my backyard. It’s like they are all alive – of course they are ALIVE, but alive in a “presence†sense and “with meâ€. I don’t ever feel alone when there are tree’s, which is why there is something extra added to the experience of sitting under a full moon when you are in a place where there ARE no tree’s. Like in the desert. Just you, the earth beneath your feet and the moon above. Alone with the moon. Now that is something special. Not that I mind the company of trees. I have missed THIS. Why did I ever stop? Where did it GO, that magic, that allowing IN of the magic. Asking for it…looking for it. Basking in it. I felt it the other day too. Walking down the town street and the wind was whipping up a fury, tearing the leaves from the tree’s and scattering them across the road, reminding me that yes, Autumn is here…. And that Winter (ahh bliss) is coming. I found myself in a midst of fluttering leaves, hair blowing crazily about and in passing a group of people I heard a woman say “Oh I hate this!†– the wind. To which I answered her in my head. “I don’t. I love it! Can’t you feel the energy in the wind? FEEL it touching you. Caressing your skin. Reminding your senses that you are alive and part of something far greater than just yourself?†Silly woman…. (smiling) Back on my deck….I was reminded of a time a few years ago when we were camped by the ocean on the edge of a small cliff. So close to the beach that all night long you could hear the crashing and pounding of the waves. What a beautiful sound. Endless. Relentless. Never ceasing. (Doesn’t the sea get tired?) I remember then thinking to myself, again under the spell of magic moonlight, how insignificant “all this†was. Me. My world. My thoughts. How many other people had sat there too and just listened. Now gone but there I was, as will be so many more in that very same place. Only the endless rhythm of those pounding waves will remain. Lets hope anyway. It is a beautiful thing to just sit and be still. Close your eyes and just BE. I think I will make time for myself more often, for these moments. To welcome back all that has been missing for so long. Silly woman.

I don’t want to fall asleep Co’s there’s a thousand dancing butterflies Waiting to get in. From a swirl inside my head Like a cloud descending suddenly, they’re dancing in my skin I don’t want to fall sleep face that familiar place of in-between Where things begin to break And it’s not that I’m afraid I’m just tired of all their flutterings Keeping me awake I don’t want to feel insane But it’s insane that sleep should wake me up! How can I explain? I just don’t want to fall asleep Co’s there’s a thousand dancing butterflies Waiting…there….again.

It struck me today that I really do have a ghoulish dark side. My daughter is doing a year 11 art project which involves taking a household object and using it to create 20 different artworks from. She chose an eggplant (that’s my girl!) So far she has different photographs, all very artfully done (this is her “thingâ€, photography), various sketches where the eggplants take on different cutesy characters and some carved eggplants which are again – cute. She complained to me that her new art teacher keeps looking at what she’s done so far and smiling and saying “that’s sweetâ€. Today he suggested she try something other than “sweet†and I explained to her that he probably wants something more out of the box – more….. ARTY. So we mulled it over for a while and I came up with the idea of slitting open an eggplant, stuffing some cooked spaghetti, covered with tomato sauce inside the “woundâ€, placing it on the side of the road, near the gutter, where she could lay down and take a photo getting a perspective shot with the rough gravel like road being at the forefront of the photo. She could name it “Road killâ€. Then I told her she should take the cute toadstool she carved out of an eggplant and put it outside on the table in the sun(and rain) and photograph it in its decaying states. It will grow it’s own moss and fungi out there and the result could very well end up as being quite an art form unto itself. (Lord knows I have discovered enough of these sorts of metamorphic artistic “forms†in the bottom of my vegetable drawer over the years – Who woulda thought that a carrot could end up looking exactly like a cooked sausage!) I showed her a spoken “thing†I had done once called “Corpse in the cupboardâ€. For some reason it was spoken in a badly done kind of Irish/Scottish accent that somehow came over me at the time I recorded it (along with sinister musical backing) It was inspired by my discovery of a horribly decaying eggplant that somebody (not me!) had put in an unused “junk†cupboard in the kitchen. I tell you it really was a horrific find! Oozing, and sliming away in secret there. Though she laughed, she told me my story was “disturbingâ€. In fact this word came up several times in the conversation – to describe me, my mind, my thoughts. Disturbing. I suppose I do have some disturbing ideas at times. I wonder where this attraction to “the dark†and the ghoulish comes from? I think it comes from fear. It’s like when people can’t help but stop and rubber neck at a traffic accident. You don’t want to see…but you do want to see…. You want to see because it terrifies you. By seeing, really LOOKING, maybe you’ll overcome your fear? I don’t know. Maybe, as terrible as it sounds, you just feel thankful it wasn’t you. I remember as a child in primary school seeing a dead dog in the ditch right near the school. This was in Africa, maybe we didn’t have good councils there or something but that dead dog stayed there for weeks….months even! I remember seeing it week after week, slowly decaying. The process was both disturbing, yet fascinating. I can still recall the repulsiveness I felt, and the fear…seeing with my own eyes what death does, and yet I had to LOOK. So why is this all coming to mind right now? (This is kind of like automatic writing at the moment – a spewing of random thoughts.) Because this morning my other daughter told me that on her way to the doctors she saw a dead dog, hit by a car, on the side of the road and its stomach had been ripped open and its intestines had spilled out. Her description shocked me because I “saw†it in my head. I didn’t want to see, but I did want to see. I’ve been seeing it all day. The truth of the matter is, I am terrified of death. My own, other peoples, my parents, dead dogs.... just death in general.

I have a son. You never know...... I hope not though!

I'm sitting here listening to keyboards and guitar being played next door in my daughters bedroom. In there are two young teenage girls exploring this fantastic, exciting world of endless inspiration that music brings. Just as books can enthrall and captivate, taking you to worlds in your head (and heart)so can music. Although I've heard the same rendition of a song for the thousandth (is that a word?) time, and I do worry a little about the neighbours, I can't help but think how lucky I am to have MY sixteen year old, at home, safe, not wandering the streets or doing drugs, NOT glued to facebook, or anything else that might be detrimental to her physical or mental well being. Sometimes there's just moments when it's so damn cool to be a parent and watch your kids evolve and "discover". I'm just glad there's no drums involved.

Looking at the instruction leaflet for my new GHD hair straightener I was amused to read that it "goes into shiver mode" when its cold and makes "warbling noises". Funny that. Sounds just like my hubby in winter. Speaking of which....My God, what is UP with this crazy weather? Positively chilly today! Something like 75 % of NSW is currently flooding! That's an area as big as France, so they said on the news. I have never seen so much rain! My brother is right now filming, for the news, as they release the dam not far from here as it is almost overflowing. One minute we're in drought and now we need to build an ark! Crazy. New project tomorrow. I'm going to record and then film my daughter and her songwriter friend. Will be nice to film someone else for a change and I really want this young girl to explore her songwriter side more. I think she's got that "thing' in her that needs to come out. What better way than through music. Well, off to join my dearly beloved warbling one.....tucked up in a warm bed on yet another long rainy night.

So it’s my birthday tomorrow. I’m not “doing’ birthdays anymore I’ve decided. It’s depressing seeing the numbers climb and I don’t want to think of myself in terms of a number because it confuses me. What should a forty four year old woman look like, act like, sound like….. Who should she be? I don’t “feel†that number, but hey, everybody says that, don’t they? I don’t however still feel like I am twenty -THAT person is gone. I remember her….I can see some of her experiences, in MY memory bank but she feels like a stranger. I can still see the child. I see her cradled in the fork of a big old tree down the end of her grandparents yard, high above the veggie garden with it’s neat rows of corn and red spotted strawberry patches. She’s in the tree and she’s commanding the wind to blow. “Blow harder now!†….. She waits until eventually the leaves of the tree begin to rustle. “Stop blowing!†…..and it’s quiet. She smiles. Magic. She had the “magicâ€. Lying in the grass with one hand cupped to her cheek, shading her eye looking for those silver cobwebs and sparkles that “flew off the sun†that no matter how she tried to explain to her parents, they just could not see and sternly warned her about “going blindâ€. The tree in her backyard that someone hung a swing from, and the ropes that cut a wound into the branch which made all the tree’s “blood†ooze out….She could heal that! Plastered with dozens of her mother’s band aids and a heartfelt whispered “ I’m sorryâ€. Solemn ceremonies where the singing of Kum ba yah was a pre requisite for the honorary send off of any and all small creatures which she happened upon in their pitiful lifeless forms. Yes, I remember her clearly. More clearly than any of the other inhabitants in my head. So who am I today? Who am I? Sensitive, introspective, an observer. A “seekerâ€, empathetic ,creative……bitter, untrusting, insecure…..fragile. Crazy. Sometimes crazy. Two people – Piscean – the two fish. So true. Opposite sides of personality. Conflict? Yeah, that’s me. Conflicted! I don’t want to grow old. It sounds so vain, to think about ones physical appearance deteriorating – withering - changing, because vain is not who I am, but I don't like the fact that every year, every five years, every ten years....well. Not only will there be there strangers on the inside but ones on the outside too. I just don't like the fact that all of this - getting older stuff, is completely out of my control. More importantly, growing older means time is running out and…… I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.

How does one start the day with the plan and intention of going to a belly dance class and end up doing a 90 minute Israeli Folk dance class, in a totally different suburb as WELL, with a person you’ve only spoken to twice for about ten minutes in total? I have to wonder about myself sometimes. After belly dance class, which was once again inspiring and refreshing both mentally and physically, I was invited by this woman – a stranger really (can’t even remember her name?) to go with her, on the train to Lawson to another dance class she attends on a Thursday. So, naturally I said “Yes, why not!†I don’t even know this woman, and usually I am not so trusting. (Wondering why all of a sudden I’m being so impulsive.) I did have a few moments on the train where I thought this is SO not what I’d tell my kids to do….just go off blindly with strangers to places you’ve never been before. She seems to want to befriend me. Well, ok then. We will see where it goes. The Folk dancing was amusing yet strangely entertaining and a bit ritualistic. All the focus is on the feet – nothing on the hips and upper body. I don’t even know how to waltz! It was tricky and a bit of a brain strain trying to memorize steps but I didn’t for one second feel “judgedâ€. Ok, so I felt a little scrutinized by one rather large butch dyke type of woman there. (I’m sure she’s a lesbian) The rest of the ladies were significantly older than me, but hey, who cares . Fun is fun and it WAS fun. When I got back to my suburb and bid farewell to my new (nameless – it'll come to me later) friend, I then did another impulsive thing and went to see a Naturopath. I’m SO over doctors! Been tested for everything under the sun for the past twelve months and every result is ‘normalâ€. Naturally they think I’m just a hysterical “womanâ€. I’m NOT. Something is out of balance and my body is virtually SCREAMING at me trying to tell me this! Lovely woman this naturopath. She looked at the WHOLE picture – for once, and told me what I suspected all along. It’s more than likely - hormones. Basically told me to ignore the test results as they are just a standardized test and really don’t tell you much – just as I suspected. So, we’ll try the herbal route first. What have I got to lose? So….another strange Thursday (is a pattern developing here?)

My church, my "God", my place of peace is here.

Almost all of what I write, especially in recent times expresses that exact sentiment David. Sometimes I just think I'm saying it in different ways but it all means the same.