[Short Rap Verse]

Yeah for sure man. I'll put it at the top of my next post. And thanks for the feedback

[Short Rap Verse]

Yeah a metaphor can be used in a different context. Writing rap and writing a more traditional song are different. You have more freedom with structure and context

[Short Rap Verse]

Sorry if I can off as rude

[Short Rap Verse]

I'm not being rude or anything man I was just confused with your critique. The word maternity is being used as a metaphor for throwing away her future by getting pregnant. The word pregnancy would ruin the flow. That's why I asked if you listened too hip hop, but I still appreciate it

[Short Rap Verse]

The definition of maternity is motherhood so I don't know how you don't understand that. Do you listen too hip hop man? Haha

[Short Rap Verse]

This girl ain't average, no this bitch is different

She'll pull the strings on your heart then make you feel indifferent

These homies trippin', this drinks got me slippin'

I f*cking hate you but I'll still dial you up while my soul is rippin'

This pounding in my chest is persistent, rebel get the f*ck out of your head

How many layers can you shed before all this bullshit is dead?

A defeated man doesn't bleed red

A heartless woman isn't satisfied until she's caught in this cycle again

Yeah these niggas are ashtrays, just burn them with your cigarettes

Just wipe the sweat off your brow and be with that asshole again

Lost in the west cuz we surrounded by 808's and no purity

A bright future turned into maternity

Too much action in the hands, too much dexterity

Nothing but a screen with no clarity

Problems so deep that not even Katie Couric could see the disparity

Stuck in a sickness but you ain't gunna get a remedy

It hurts too see but it's clear too me

That you just looking for some security

Seeing the real you is such a rarity, girl please get off your knees and fix your insecurities

[Rap Verse]

My life is a jungle and I'm caught in its trap

I'm running from the lions and I can't go back

I just wanna be king, but the king is a hack

Young simba in my mind making up for what mufasa lacked

More roar than I pack, swinging from these branches

Caged animals looking through the windows of their mansions

Hear my battle cry, f*ck your closed captions

Fill in the blank, homie that's a mad lib

Too much action on a chain reaction putting one finger up too compassion while I'm just watching it happen

A Phoenix going back into the ashes, a claw to the face for the kiss

Like "a meaningless life is torturous"

Crying out for a purpose but what's the point of a purpose if you're purposeless?

Looking for mercy but he's merciless

Tear stains be permanent, walking on a crutch

Saying that I don't give a f*ck but in reality I care too much

Stuck in the demons clutch, cloudy residue in a haze

Can't look a halo in the eyes because I'm scared of her gaze

Toes curling for the heat, goosebumps from the blaze

Taking my place in line, caught up in this maze

But does it really matter? Cuz we're all just burnt faces in this game anyways

REBEL

[Unnamed Freestlye Rap]

This is good man. But all of the commas that you use really f*cks with the flow of your bars. I understand the desire too have length in a bar but flow should never be sacrificed. You'll learn that if you ever spit over a track you can't pause as much. But other than that keep it up

[Freestyle Rap Feedback Please! (Strong Language)]

I really liked what you did here man. The only thing I could say is try to have more deep metaphorical shit. But this is a freestyle so whatever

[Rap Verse]

Random verse that I wrote, no song for it yet

-rebel

Girl we just outta sync cuz my guarantees don't sync with your idiocies

Broken teeth in the fight, losing to LSD

Stuck in the war, no we lost our peace

Never shut our eyes cuz we don't got no dreams

Cracked voice but all we can do is scream

Stopped dead in out tracks, muscles always gettin' seized

Too many bruises, we always be begging on our knees

Grumbling in our stomaches, biting the hand that feeds

No doe to need, hopes lost in the gutter

No f*cks given cuz girl we got each other

Whipping away the sweat, more fire to smother

Lost in this trek cuz you the Wesley too my crusher

The smoke to my puffer, the woman to my wonder

V-v-voice to my stutter

Under attack, the road runnin' my runner

We don't need no consumption cuz we always eatin' each

AH!