Mythic

I was just poking fun Tall grass could work! Atleast now there is some sort of suggestion pool to choose from. Never sacrifice the colours...

Bless, love to you for your loss man. Fair enough, wistful subjects can procure the most beauty often though! Perhaps it was for him. Definitely like it. I couldn't even care to analyse why, but it's got a pretty profound emotional substance between the lines there that just gets me. And who can deny that imagery!

The question is..do birds actually nest in bamboo thickets? I see what you mean by implied orientalism. I like the minimalism of haiku though, it is what it is. Where would you like to see the birds nest? Willow was a good suggestion, shame about the connotation. How about a flowery word like 'sequoia' or something?

Really like it man. I need to go over it again to really try to get a grasp of it's meaning (atleast what it means to me), but it's real nice.

Bless, thanks for reading. This is my first poem. I'm pretty happy with it. Critique whatever you want, but what I am wondering is if it trips over itself too much to be palatable. I personally love choppy, eclectic rhythm and flow, but i'm not entirely sure if it works here. Bear in mind this is the way I work, i'm not a rhyme-on-the-end-of-every-line sort of guy, if you feel me. Reading this piece, i'd go slow and paint each phrase into a picture to work it. I'd also like to know if the imagery serves its purpose. I like being subtle, I don't like ramming the point down peoples throats. Do you get what this poem is about, or is it too hazy? Any feedback appreciated, thanks. The passage of time makes promise to change, Upon passing tides to us never yield, Beings strange of structures and habitual appeal, Penchant made passive like eroded stone carvings, Whom form silent beneath our eyes Content to lay victim to the weather and tides, Yet although we have limbs akin the rain or wind And within, a will to shape and create such things, When life asks us temper or change what lay inside, Why, responsibility we sever, and close our eyes?

It's a nice piece of work. I guess it could almost be considered an elegy, a remembrance. The opening lines give a good sense of nostalgia. I agree that there is something missing from the hook, two lines doesn't feed you enough to really make you connect with the emotional content of the story. The writing is rich in cliche which any trained writer will tell you to avoid like the plague, but I think when it's done in this context (remembering the personality of an old man, and the times), it's forgivable, as cliche now was norm back then. 'Prey' at the end of the first verse seems to weaken the verse a little, there might be a better way to seal the line off.

Truly beautiful poem! I don't see much to critique that wouldn't be 'How I like to do things'. Stunning and eloquent imagery and each line communicates effectively. Literally the only thing I have to mention, is that this line might be a weak chain in the link He began to sing a beautiful sad song Just, given the lovely use of language (and it isn't flowery or verbose either, kudos kudos) it seems like a bit of a castaway line, maybe you could find a better word than sad. But I might be wrong! Thanks for the poem.

It used to take me nearly a year to chug out a single song in an old solo project of mine. Of that, the lyrics would come last, and they would just erupt in a fit of emotion, then it'd take me a few months to get them to a place I wanted them to be.

Everything matters. It's all colours, they paint a final picture. Simplicity and subtlety can often be the most striking of features in music, for me definitely. It's all context too; what the song is, what you are conveying, who the audience are etc. But hell, even when i've found myself in a room full of sweaty drunk as hell twentysomethings screaming to the most unrefined and raw music out there, they might go bananas on something as simple as a miniscule inflection of the voice that was satisfying etc. So something is always worth something. You gotta be the judge of how much.

I wouldn't worry about it at all. Nearly everything in popular music is cliched in one way or another anyway, I guess it's how your personality breathes life and uniqueness into your own music. There are however, alot of ways to turn a extremely cliched sequence into something better sounding, MikeRobinson pretty much nailed it in a simple manner. Messing around with every chord you know is a really good way of getting a feel of how you can change up chords. Take a 5 string chord, and just try and change a note on each string of the chord, see what sounds good while still remaining true to the original chord in some sense, you might only end up with 1 or two note changes but it can make a world of difference, and once you mess around with it enough it becomes intuitive (almost).

Lyricism wise...in no order. Gonna throw a few more in here (not who I think are the GREATEST either..just who I enjoy the most) David Gilmour (I would say Rodger, and I do love him, he's just too in your face. I prefer Gilmours subtlety) Maynard James Keenan Jimi Hendrix Bob Marley Thomas Haake (not what many here would expect, but i had to throw him in. Genius!) I&Ideal Anthony Kiedis Nas Edit: Can't believe people are saying Ed Sheeran. I mean, just my opinion and all..just can't believe it.

1. Do you sing, play an instrument or instruments? Ja. What instruments? I play the electric and acoustic guitar, electric bass, drum kit, djembe/dundun, shakuhachi, dungchen, and bamboo sax (xaphoon). When did you start playing? Guitar when i was 7, bass when I was 10, drumkit at 14, djembe at 14, shakuhachi at 18, dungchen and xaphoon last year. Did you teach yourself? Mainly yes. I had lessons with a blues guitarist for 2 years, and was taught djembe by a specialist at school for 2 years. I had a wonderful shakuhachi teacher very briefly, and I attended a school for drums but didn't finish the year. Other then that, entirely self taught. 2. Are you in a band or bands? Ja, sort of. What is the name of the band? I'm in two hip hop projects currently. I play acoustic guitar for one (more a duo), which is un-named and lowkey, and in an internet based trio called (working title) 'Hip Hopcrates and the Rap Magus Prism Clan'. Other then that, I am the drummer of hiatus prog death metal band Circles of Squares, and am an original member of Gareth Masons Musica Masonica improvisation collective. What do you play? Woops, answered above, sorry. What other instruments are in the band? Circles of Squares consists of two guitarists, an accordion player, keyboardist, bassist and drummer. Musica Masonica is variable and collaborative, but the main body is a loop guitarist and drummer. Do you have a band website? Not currently. Many are work in progress projects. Fine tuning and patience is the key today. 3. Do you write songs? Ja. Do you write lyrics, music or both? Both. Do you have a writing partner? No. 4. Do you record your music? When I can. Do you use a home studio? If so what gear do you use? Sort of. All I have right now is a Pod Studio UX1 thingy, and Pioneer 5000 headphones. Do you use a recording studio? When I can afford it. Which isn't often nowdays. Do you have music available on the web? if so where? Yes. Previous projects of mine are available on the web, but I have reservations sharing them, as I only really got out there when I went through a sort of metal phase. However my personal tastes are so much more then metal, and I dont feel the work I currently have available remotely reflects who I am. Anyone who is interested can ask. 5. What other roles do you perform in the music business? Management? Label owner? Publishing? Promotion? Other? I did some event organisation for a label owned my a friend of mine, called Envenomation Records. 6. Are you a tech head? Can't say I am. I'm useless with that stuff. 7. What country do you live in? England. 8. What are your ambitions? I have alot of them. I'll spare you all for now. 9. Do you draw/paint/write stories/computer art/dance or other creative pursuit? Yeah. I've been uninspired for years, but I've drawn most of my life. I love writing too, but again, lack of inspiration for a long time. School sort of forced my escapist tendency so hard that it really brought it out in me, but i'm not there any more. What are your pastimes? Learning. I am fascinated by absolutely everything, and dedicate my existence to self mastery, understanding, for external mastery and understanding. 10. What would you like to get out of Songstuff? A community that I can contribute to, which can help me improve also. I've never had one that i've felt I belong with in any sense. Whew, that was a mouthful, my apologies.

Hey, i'm Mythic (ooh titles). I'm a musician and lyricist with a decent range of things I do, and I love a lot of different expressions of music, from super soft to very heavy, sparse to dense, obscure to transparent. Was nosing around the interwebs and this place seemed pretty cool, so I thought i'd join up. Hope I can be of service. Bless, Mythic