[Lyrics? Melody? Which One First?]

always lyric first for me.

[Rhyme? Or Not..]

we all differ in the way we write, I don`t rhyme much, but its not a bad thing. take them as you see the write your doing.whats working. I thought this would make a good topic. I have a friend share a little with me, I`ll share it here, made alot of sense to me. [What you have imperfect rhymes] thats me!...lol

[my friend]

I am a connoisseur of rhymes!!! (no secret here) They are my passion and hobby and did I mention my passion, BUT BUT BUT I fully realize that some of the great songs out there have minimal rhymes while there are others that are fully loaded with rhymes. Both identical rhymes and soft rhymes play their part in the right setting/genre.

I can think of a hit by Toni Braxton "Unbreak My Heart" written by Dianne Warren whose Chorus has not one rhyme in it and it shines. Infact if you look at the verses they are very shy on rhymes and yet the song became a big hit.

Let's study the lyric....

"Unbreak My Heart"

Don't leave me in all this pain

Don't leave me out in the rain

Come back and bring back my smile

Come and take these tears away

I need your arms to hold me now

The nights are so unkind

Bring back those nights when I held you beside me

1-Un-break my heart

Say you'll love me again

Un-do this hurt you caused

When you walked out the door

And walked outta my life

Un-cry these tears

I cried so many nights

Un-break my heart, my heart

Take back that sad word good-bye

Bring back the joy to my life

Don't leave me here with these tears

Come and kiss this pain away

I can't forget the day you left

Time is so unkind

And life is so cruel without you here beside me

(Repeat 1)

Ohh, oh

Don't leave me in all this pain

Don't leave me out in the rain

Bring back the nights when I held you beside me

(Rpt 1)

Un-break my

Un-break my heart, oh baby

Come back and say you love me

Un-break my heart

Sweet darlin'

Without you I just can't go on

Can't go on

The song had a great melody and emotion and went to no#1 but it's rhymes are very sparse, i.e. pain and rain

NOW... let's look at another hit with endless rhymes throughout the lyric:

"Yesterday"

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away

Now it looks as though they're here to stay

Oh, I believe in yesterday

Suddenly I'm not half the man I used to be

There's a shadow hanging over me

Oh, yesterday came suddenly

Why she had to go I don't know,

she wouldn't say

I said something wrong

Now I long for yesterday

Yesterday love was such an easy game to play

Now I need a place to hide away

Oh, I believe in yesterday

Why’d she have to go?I don't know,

she wouldn't say

I said something wrong

Now I long for yesterday

Yesterday love was such an easy game to play

Now I need a place to hide away

Oh, I believe in yesterday

A rhyming summation of the rhyming conversation

One song with little rhymes

One song with alot

But what they have in common

Is the number one spot

Look at the song in total

Especially melody

For therein lies the treasure

[Where's The Country?]

hey Carrie do you play/sing? I`ll post a country song, I like country its all about whats going on at the time..three chords and the truth kind of thing. I`ll get in there and read your lyrics, don`t expect some great review..lol I`m not the best at that,,,

[What I`m Trying To Say]

I was asked to write a song about the feeling of loss, or emptiness when people go missing. children, lost in war, people we can`t recover. I came up with the kids part I think..do you think others will know what I`m trying to say? I want to write this a verse at a time so I don`t get to vague. I can`t think of anything more cruel than not knowing what happened to loved ones..[just my thought] any thoughts are welcome. I always put on a little noise with the write to give you a better idea where I was going with it, and kinda how it meters. forgive that...lol

http://snd.sc/W4IZSi

V1

Daughters twirl in lace and

glass-slippers..

all the Children with Bubble-gum breath.

The laughter once rang down hallways..

Mothers and Fathers stand striking their chest..

Chorus

chorus:

that is just like thunder

its like rain...

hearts without love

ship without sail.

it is all like thunder....

and its hard to explain

it is just like falling

going under a wave...

Vincent 2012

======================================

this is just thoughts I had for it..

when they are never seen again

beware of the farel human"

I have never counted the hour...

always love

We repeat to the Gods,

mea culpa is harder to bear..

putting on 'widows weeds'..

[Where's The Country?]

hi Carrie..just doing the holler part..I`m a country guy,

[The Line You Wish You'd Written]

I think its Nora Jones.."catching teardrops in my hands" written by Jesse Harris "Don`t know why"

[Pen And Paper, Or Going Digital?]

I have trouble sitting down and writing lyric complete, so its pen and paper and a line or two as they come to mind.

[How To Put Music To Lyrics...?]

hi Sam..there is a program Fruity Loops i have heard of there are some ads with it..but its free. don`t know how good it is I don`t use it.

if you have a "mic you can track your voice, or your music with ..Audacity real simple program, easy to use. I use it, and I save files as "WAV and then convert that file with "Switch another simple file converter converts files to mp3 I use that too. if you have trouble let me know I`ll try to help..

[What Is Going On?]

thanks for the cure guys, sounds simple, I have a guitar guy that I`ll have to it, I trust him a little more than me. Cisco

[What Is Going On?]

I guess there is nothing I can do about that, never did it before yerterday. strange" thanks John for commenting.

[Post Pics Of Your Guitar!]

thanks John, I have this in the wrong place! should have put it in the subject, instead of a new topic...

[Post Pics Of Your Guitar!]

this is my ovation 1978 legend and I thought you might like to see this lap-steel" 1947-1950 Electromuse. I can`t play it...lol I just have it.

[What Is Going On?]

I have this old 1978 Ovation acoustic/electric guitar..plugged it in to the amp, and a damn am radio station came on....lol what? never happened before what am I doing? can anyone tell me how to cure this? or tell me whats going on? thanks ahead of time" Cisco

[How To Write Completely Meaningless Lyrics]

can I go first? can I..can I..lol

I e-mailed these lyrics to a friend once, he e-mailed back..wtf?

men of devotion

beggar of coin

look toward the heavens

feeding a past.

"give me time, I have not healed

give me time, give me time, give me time."

all the lost daughters

and sons stand to fight

forfeit their loved ones

was a prayer to be heard.

Certainly the housewives,

with their flowery breath

hurry their children

from the fields lay in waste.

all of the angels, cardboard wings

pray for a future

and dust takes its place.

"give me time, I have not healed

give me time, give me time, give me time."

Out in the sidewalks, and the peeling paint

the weary look back on

the markers of stone.

Counting the prophets who we verily knew,

are the words to some Saviour

reflecting off glass..

"give me time, Lord I have not healed

give me time, give me time, give me time."

[How To Write Completely Meaningless Lyrics]

this should be fun to try...in my case easy, half the songs I write are meaningless...lol

[Is It Ever Done, Poor Subject?]

Hi Lazz,

you have to watch me, I still live on a dirt road, play the same old guitar from 1978..lol

and know my neighbors by the first names. sometimes I don`t express my thoughts very well.

hell I even raised the hair" on a few folks and never intended it.

Hey Lazz..if you have time, [i know you don`t like country] but I`d really like your thoughts on another song I have, let me know and I`ll send a link" in a message to you...its cool if you can`t, or don`t want to.

I`m goning see if I can hook Tom into it too...lol

[Is It Ever Done, Poor Subject?]

thank you Tom for stopping by and commenting, I`m adopting that thought..."done for now" is about as final as things ever get. I have another song friends say is ok, told me to stay away from cameras,camcorders anything capturing images...lol know a good video guy?. thanks again Tom

[Is It Ever Done, Poor Subject?]

Tambarskjelve: thats what I did I was so tired of messing with it I called it finished..lol thank you for your kind comment.

LOL..Top-line pro work from everyone involved

(except maybe the video guy)

Lazz: it really was a tough subject, I was all over the place trying to get enough in this, and writing it with heart. the story brought out emotions in me, but it didn`t happen to me, still my imagination ran wild..god what if it did. I just finished this so its fresh, I don`t know one thing about air-play...lol thank you for taking time to listen and comment.

[Is It Ever Done, Poor Subject?]

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[Verse Or Poem, You Decide]

sounds like free-verse to me,some say its not poetry, some say its a form of it. I think written lines that flow so well.