cisco

always lyric first for me.

we all differ in the way we write, I don`t rhyme much, but its not a bad thing. take them as you see the write your doing.whats working. I thought this would make a good topic. I have a friend share a little with me, I`ll share it here, made alot of sense to me. [What you have imperfect rhymes] thats me!...lol [my friend] I am a connoisseur of rhymes!!! (no secret here) They are my passion and hobby and did I mention my passion, BUT BUT BUT I fully realize that some of the great songs out there have minimal rhymes while there are others that are fully loaded with rhymes. Both identical rhymes and soft rhymes play their part in the right setting/genre. I can think of a hit by Toni Braxton "Unbreak My Heart" written by Dianne Warren whose Chorus has not one rhyme in it and it shines. Infact if you look at the verses they are very shy on rhymes and yet the song became a big hit. Let's study the lyric.... "Unbreak My Heart" Don't leave me in all this pain Don't leave me out in the rain Come back and bring back my smile Come and take these tears away I need your arms to hold me now The nights are so unkind Bring back those nights when I held you beside me 1-Un-break my heart Say you'll love me again Un-do this hurt you caused When you walked out the door And walked outta my life Un-cry these tears I cried so many nights Un-break my heart, my heart Take back that sad word good-bye Bring back the joy to my life Don't leave me here with these tears Come and kiss this pain away I can't forget the day you left Time is so unkind And life is so cruel without you here beside me (Repeat 1) Ohh, oh Don't leave me in all this pain Don't leave me out in the rain Bring back the nights when I held you beside me (Rpt 1) Un-break my Un-break my heart, oh baby Come back and say you love me Un-break my heart Sweet darlin' Without you I just can't go on Can't go on The song had a great melody and emotion and went to no#1 but it's rhymes are very sparse, i.e. pain and rain NOW... let's look at another hit with endless rhymes throughout the lyric: "Yesterday" Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away Now it looks as though they're here to stay Oh, I believe in yesterday Suddenly I'm not half the man I used to be There's a shadow hanging over me Oh, yesterday came suddenly Why she had to go I don't know, she wouldn't say I said something wrong Now I long for yesterday Yesterday love was such an easy game to play Now I need a place to hide away Oh, I believe in yesterday Why’d she have to go?I don't know, she wouldn't say I said something wrong Now I long for yesterday Yesterday love was such an easy game to play Now I need a place to hide away Oh, I believe in yesterday A rhyming summation of the rhyming conversation One song with little rhymes One song with alot But what they have in common Is the number one spot Look at the song in total Especially melody For therein lies the treasure

hey Carrie do you play/sing? I`ll post a country song, I like country its all about whats going on at the time..three chords and the truth kind of thing. I`ll get in there and read your lyrics, don`t expect some great review..lol I`m not the best at that,,,

I was asked to write a song about the feeling of loss, or emptiness when people go missing. children, lost in war, people we can`t recover. I came up with the kids part I think..do you think others will know what I`m trying to say? I want to write this a verse at a time so I don`t get to vague. I can`t think of anything more cruel than not knowing what happened to loved ones..[just my thought] any thoughts are welcome. I always put on a little noise with the write to give you a better idea where I was going with it, and kinda how it meters. forgive that...lol http://snd.sc/W4IZSi V1 Daughters twirl in lace and glass-slippers.. all the Children with Bubble-gum breath. The laughter once rang down hallways.. Mothers and Fathers stand striking their chest.. Chorus chorus: that is just like thunder its like rain... hearts without love ship without sail. it is all like thunder.... and its hard to explain it is just like falling going under a wave... Vincent 2012 ====================================== this is just thoughts I had for it.. when they are never seen again beware of the farel human" I have never counted the hour... always love We repeat to the Gods, mea culpa is harder to bear.. putting on 'widows weeds'..

hi Carrie..just doing the holler part..I`m a country guy,

I think its Nora Jones.."catching teardrops in my hands" written by Jesse Harris "Don`t know why"

I have trouble sitting down and writing lyric complete, so its pen and paper and a line or two as they come to mind.

hi Sam..there is a program Fruity Loops i have heard of there are some ads with it..but its free. don`t know how good it is I don`t use it. if you have a "mic you can track your voice, or your music with ..Audacity real simple program, easy to use. I use it, and I save files as "WAV and then convert that file with "Switch another simple file converter converts files to mp3 I use that too. if you have trouble let me know I`ll try to help..

thanks for the cure guys, sounds simple, I have a guitar guy that I`ll have to it, I trust him a little more than me. Cisco

I guess there is nothing I can do about that, never did it before yerterday. strange" thanks John for commenting.

thanks John, I have this in the wrong place! should have put it in the subject, instead of a new topic...

this is my ovation 1978 legend and I thought you might like to see this lap-steel" 1947-1950 Electromuse. I can`t play it...lol I just have it.

I have this old 1978 Ovation acoustic/electric guitar..plugged it in to the amp, and a damn am radio station came on....lol what? never happened before what am I doing? can anyone tell me how to cure this? or tell me whats going on? thanks ahead of time" Cisco

can I go first? can I..can I..lol I e-mailed these lyrics to a friend once, he e-mailed back..wtf? men of devotion beggar of coin look toward the heavens feeding a past. "give me time, I have not healed give me time, give me time, give me time." all the lost daughters and sons stand to fight forfeit their loved ones was a prayer to be heard. Certainly the housewives, with their flowery breath hurry their children from the fields lay in waste. all of the angels, cardboard wings pray for a future and dust takes its place. "give me time, I have not healed give me time, give me time, give me time." Out in the sidewalks, and the peeling paint the weary look back on the markers of stone. Counting the prophets who we verily knew, are the words to some Saviour reflecting off glass.. "give me time, Lord I have not healed give me time, give me time, give me time."

this should be fun to try...in my case easy, half the songs I write are meaningless...lol

Hi Lazz, you have to watch me, I still live on a dirt road, play the same old guitar from 1978..lol and know my neighbors by the first names. sometimes I don`t express my thoughts very well. hell I even raised the hair" on a few folks and never intended it. Hey Lazz..if you have time, [i know you don`t like country] but I`d really like your thoughts on another song I have, let me know and I`ll send a link" in a message to you...its cool if you can`t, or don`t want to. I`m goning see if I can hook Tom into it too...lol

thank you Tom for stopping by and commenting, I`m adopting that thought..."done for now" is about as final as things ever get. I have another song friends say is ok, told me to stay away from cameras,camcorders anything capturing images...lol know a good video guy?. thanks again Tom

Tambarskjelve: thats what I did I was so tired of messing with it I called it finished..lol thank you for your kind comment. LOL..Top-line pro work from everyone involved (except maybe the video guy) Lazz: it really was a tough subject, I was all over the place trying to get enough in this, and writing it with heart. the story brought out emotions in me, but it didn`t happen to me, still my imagination ran wild..god what if it did. I just finished this so its fresh, I don`t know one thing about air-play...lol thank you for taking time to listen and comment.

deleted

sounds like free-verse to me,some say its not poetry, some say its a form of it. I think written lines that flow so well.