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Takoda
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The first iteration feels like a lyric: Three verses, bridge, verse. Cool. Yes, post the chord progression. Thanks ...
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Yes. Also, this feels like another part of the other 10/19/2016 posting. Perhaps a bridge or something? Thanks ...
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More than a poem, this feels like a song. With a little tweaking here and there .... The last line in the second stanza is a bit awkward, in my opinion. Thanks ...
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This is cool. I hear the last two lines as an intermittent chorus: “she may not be noticed / but there's nowhere she’d rather be” as example ... and then it sings. Thanks ...
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This is interesting. When I read it, I hear it spoken with lively syncopated background music. And, for some reason, “Continuum continuum” always comes out “ continuing continuum.” Thank you …
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