The rhyming feels somewhat contrived, while the subject matter remains challenging. It is essential to address it in order to aid in the healing process and cope with the aftermath of this tragic event. However, relying solely on familiar ideas, expressions, and imagery might cause it to blend in with countless other works of a similar theme, akin to a small pebble causing a mere ripple in the vast ocean, rather than a crashing mountain in the midst of tumultuous waves. I believe that by experimenting with different poetic forms, you could truly steer this composition in fresh and profound directions, effectively capturing your emotions and reflecting on how this event has reshaped everything. It is an impressive beginning, and with further exploration, it can reach even greater heights.
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