Ambiguous Target - Multi Layered Lyrics

[john]

Hi Gang

I will see if I can dig out better examples, even from my own work, but these are immediately available.

Both were draft recordings and I never finished them. The drafts have MANY FAULTS lol but drafts are where I experiment, try things that (like the solos etc) aren't in the finished songs. That aside I haven't checked the links still work. LOL

The important thing here is the lyrics. Emotional, but no distinct target or viewpoint. Even the chorus has a viewpoint neutral take.

Each lyric was gone through from 3 imagined perspectives, and latterly from one or two that readers / listeners thought the songs were about.

Neither song is as blatant or clear cut viewpoint wise as the current affairs exercise, but the principle holds.

Have a read. Feel free to discuss them. Maybe you feel these don't achieve it. I can say that from asking people during the review process I had about a 30 - 25 - 25 split on what people thought they were about (those 3 figures being the percentages of the main perspectives I had checked my lyrics from, adding things that suggested a backstory or another etc the other 20% were other concepts I hadn't intended or written in. Gratifying for me and sometime quite surprising.

What really surprised me was that to each reader one viewpoint or story seemed quite obvious, and the others needed to be pointed out! More in one song than the other.

anyway, here ya go. Rip em up.

Play -> Always On My Mind

************************

Always On My Mind

************************

~*~Verse~*~

Underwater

It feels so cool

The world in reflection

A knot in my soul

I see you so clearly

Smiling at me

There's shadows in your eyes

That only I see

~*~Chorus~*~

You're always on my mind

always on my mind

always on my mind

You're always on my mind

always on my mind

always on my mind

~*~Verse~*~

Inspiration

An uncertain state

The muse on my shoulder

The hearts that you break

Eyes on the heavens

Soaking up blue

You give it meaning

The simplest of truths

Copyright 2007 John Moxey, all rights reserved

Mix 3 of "I Am One".

************

I Am One

************

~*~Verse~*~

Deep in the dark

I hide in my cell

My vision of hell

I won't make a sound

You'll never see me

Until I break free

~*~Chorus~*~

Then i am brilliant

The life, the blood the soul

A spark so resilient

That's set against it all

I am one

~*~Verse~*~

Numb to it all

Weeks tick by

My comatose eyes

I'm So far away

My own inner space

Until I escape

~*~Chorus~*~

Then i am brilliant

The life, the blood the soul

A spark so resilient

That's set against it all

I am one

~*~Bridge~*~

For a moment I see

How it all should be

~*~Chorus~*~

Then i am brilliant

The life, the blood the soul

A spark so resilient

That's set against it all

John Moxey 2008

All rights reserved

[Rudi]

Hi John,

 

I have not had a chance yet to listen to these. I will later today. Doing that may change my mind.

 

Always on my mind:

Well you made me think. I’m not sure I know where I went is where you did though. I do feel sure that this is a human state of mind. You could call it a lot of things.

 

A state of grace

Reconciliation with dying

Effect of a drug
preoccupation with a person, pet, deity, drug or inanimate familiar

 

 

 

I am one:

Sounds like the gestation of a virus

 

 

Rudi

[Rudi]

Cant get the music to play for some reason.

Sound is turned up, not not hearing anything !

[john]

i will check it out when I get a chance

[john]

It really is about time I did some work on my own site lol There's so few of my songs on there it's ridiculous! Looks like the audio page is broken too. I'll update the links tomorrow for the audio that is already uploaded and make sure it can play.

[Rudi]

great!

[john]

while I get this fixed, hopefully at least you can see that the context is undefined in any way, no obvious target has been defined other than "you" or "I"

[Rudi]

Somehow, I needed to see these (or like) examples.

 

I suspect we all do too.

 

I also just checked out Dada Longlegs (Andy from Philipines) song just now. It is not nearly as open as these lyrics, but it was like overhearing part of a conversation, without knowing the circumstances that gave rise to it. It added something to the song.

 

Perhaps an example could assist with this sort of brief. I realise that it could also serve to limit the challengees (new word: nice eh?) efforts, but sometimes people need a kick-start. Challenge 18 is one of these I think.

[john]

Usually such songs connect more deeply with listeners, precisely because the space that ambiguity leaves allows the listener to fill in the details with things they relate to, a story that already means something to them. It can be tricky getting that balance right. Now you have had this ambiguity approach pointed out you should spot plenty of lyrics that use it to some degree, either accidentally or on purpose on the part of the writer, though if they are very open then I would expect it to be on purpose.

So far I have tried to keep challenges to a brief, so it is a bit more open to interpretation, less limiting, but I can understand why examples can be useful. Mind you, no one else has bothered with this topic, even if they haven't quite picked up on exactly what the challenge was for or why.

[Rudi]

I am still getting my head around all this.

 

I know about this type of lyric, but have never written that way myself.

(That is not to say that people dont misunderstand lyrics all the time, but that is a separate thing)

 

The odd thing is, even when trying hard, its so difficult to write this way (for me anyway). 

 

I am tempted so suggest this concept of layered and open lyrics is carried forwards into a further challenge. An #18b or #19.

 

The most remarkable thing about it is that we have all either:

 

1/ Got carried away with other aspects of the subject matter

2/ paid lip service to this aspect of the brief

3/ failed

 

Rather than accept the above I would like another stab at this, but preferably with a different subject.

[john]

Just to say that the music links now work. Sorry the recordings are rough. For one song the wav file is much much better (I haven't checked the others apart from that they at least start playing. I probably should re encode the dodgy ones!)