Rap Freestyle

[bronzerebel]

She said I eat pussy like a poet but really shes the shit and she's never gunna know it

I kinda like her, I might even love her for the moment

Real words from the heart but they'll stay unspoken

Cuz homie I've been there before and it never ends with any balance

X's and O's after we talk, four play is just a challenge

I kinda like her as a side chick, like she just cleansing my pallet

But if this is an election for my heart this might be a fixed ballot

Lost in a wonderland, but she ain't no Alice

No stars on her helmet, the furthest thing from Dallas

Uh

I've waitin' all my life, drownin' all my life

Looking for a good girl too give me air all my life

If it wasn't for my disguise, the mirror I'd despise

Rebel buried inside, heartless motherf*cker by design

But she so divine that I don't know if Imma make it through the night

She's gunna eat me alive

A heart I can't deny, nothing but a stained poet falling apart

She said please turn on the lights, cuz you're getting a little too dark

She askin' for one strike, just so she can feel a spark

Lost in the dark, cuz we're scared of the bright eyes and monsters

Seeing me from a different view, looking at me like I'm an imposter

Asking the price to get me back like what's it gunna cost her

Minds gone she can't foster, making the wrong choice like she don't got it figured out yet

Acting like I'm her set of morales, like I'm something she can't forget

I ain't shit, girl please find a new outlet

My mind ain't got no light, you ain't ever gunna find a sunset

This is the me you never met, long gone I'm all that's left

Don't follow me cuz I'm leaving the nest, a rebel isn't blessed

Do you really wanna give up your sunsets just so the fire can collect?

So just close your eyes one time, cuz I don't want you to see me take all these rounds to the chest

Edited March 17, 2014 by bronzerebel

[justsoulin]

Hiya Rebel - thx for that helpful explanation post - it's a start.

 

For help in critiquing Rap/Hip-Hop when you don't know - http://forums.songstuff.com/topic/35988-critiquing-rap-lyrics/

 

Now onto this topic

 

I'm gonna have to come back when I've more time and my heads not full of Rock, Country, Ballads, Reggae etc

 

But (and that's a BIG BUT), I got through the above without too many problems - yes

[bronzerebel]

Haha ok thanks man

[omenrama]

The poisonous relationship. I was stumbling around with the rhythm a bit as well.

[bronzerebel]

Yeah I was honestly trying too piece shit together on this one. Big mistake

Did you lose the rhythm around "She said please turn on the lights, cuz you're getting a little too dark" ?

Edited March 18, 2014 by bronzerebel