Get A Life

[scotsman89]

 J Morrison

 

 

who are the trolls they are not your friend

type whatever then just press send

say hateful things about us all

but hide away behind there walls

that's right

why don't you get a life

 

of course the internet is not all bad

that's where mum hooked up with dad

but for everyone that find true love

so many there just get ripped off

that's right

why don't you get a life

 

the twitter tweeters everywhere

telling what they do, what they wear

their I like him but she's no good

just had dinner but don't like food

that's right

why don't you get a life

 

now I don't live in cyber space

I meet all my friends face to face

so come on switch off your screens

come out and meet some human beings

you never know but you might find

what it's like to have a life

that's right

you can get a life

Edited April 24, 2014 by scotsman89

[KaGy]

Scotsman89

 

This should be in lyrics surely, it has a tone, a hook, a chorus easily put together out of this, you should consider re-posting this, a muso. might pick it up - I hope so, because I can hear this, it just needs some fine tuning.

 

KaGy

[scotsman89]

thanks KaGy

having reread it can see it has lyric potential  thought of it as a poem though

 

scotsman

[Smurfiee]

This poem is really good!

 

I like the overall theme/tone of the poem. To me, it feels like it's told from a teenager's point of view.

 

It was funny as well!

 

Keep it up.

[scotsman89]

thanks   Smurf

makes me feel really young maybe 55   LOL

scotsman

[Asterus]

It has an interesting "roll" to it, especially considering the repetition that ties it together in a chorus-like fashion. My only critique is that using the rhythm I read this with, the second line of the second stanza seems a little short compared to the others, but that could easily be fixed with a few extending words.

[scotsman89]

Asterus

thanks for the read and critique ,

scotsman