I Couldn't Face What Was In There

[nightmare alive]

I walked in the darkness

my heart fluttered and failed

I stopped at the door

but there was no light there

 

i turned back  around

felt whimpy of my scare

but something in my heart

was telling me

i couldn't face what was in there..........

[Janeva]

Hi

 

I can see you are a new member here - welcome to the forums  

 

You've made a good start by setting the scene but is there more to this story?    

 

If I were you I might think more about the use of rhyming for more impact.

 

If you could also write some critiques for other members (at least 3 for each post of your own) you will soon find you will get more feedback from others.

 

Good luck.

 

Jan