Rap Verse

[bronzerebel]

So I wrote this shit when I was drunk. I'm not sure if it has any quality so I'd appreciate some critique - rebel

Stopped in my tracks like this beat ain't shit

Like its nothing but really I'm starting feel it

Should I stay or should I split?

Don't pass me the broken pieces cuz they ain't gunna fit

Shits as separated as it gets, my souls gettin' lost in the pits

I want a different taste but I already got a chick

I could probably give her every inch, maybe make her feel this dick

But what would that say about my character? How much asshole would I transmit?

How many evil deeds does my conscience permit?

A quilt of bad choices too knit, forgetting about it like it doesn't even matter

Oh look there goes another step on the inevitable ladder

I hate the sound of my teeth when they chatter

I hate being nervous and having piss in my bladder

I hate these f*cking feelings of doubt making me sadder

I mean I wanna love her but will her heart shatter?

A motherf*cker as mad as the mad hatter

A dead brain in the head, a reservation in the life after

Dreams splattered; Homie I'm just tryin' too turn all this anxiety into laughter

[justsoulin]

Yo

 

Stopped in my tracks like this beat ain't shit
Like its nothing but really I'm starting feel it should this have a 'to' in it? as in - starting to feel it?
Should I stay or should I split?

 

If it should, then I'd look at stopping here and looking at that 3rd line. Because for me, you've got the chance to carry on by splitting the lyrics into 2 parts. Deal with what happens if you stay, then what happens if you split.

 

is splitting really quitting

am I telling porkie pies

or will there be nothing I'm missing

except maybe her eyes.............................

is staying really saying

I want the cake and to eat it to

get my size tens

permanently fixed in the room.....................

 

 

You should be able to bring some of the other stuff in doing it.