milk snatchers

[merciful evans]

by evans, its...

milk snatchers (human cheese and the banana cow)

we are all milk snatchers coz…

were just like Maggie Thatcher was

cows are domesticated, what were they like before this occurred,

before we sampled gold top and curd

where there wild herds of Herefords out there in the sticks?

Grazing and lowing and picking up tics

as the cattle stand ruminating

our minds are illuminating…

after following them about for 800 years,

we finally penned ‘em, and they are still here

we all sat down and we had a rest

nomads no more, coz this leisure is best

but Lapplanders still follow the reindeer herds

whats the matter with them then, havn’t they heard?

we also have goats milk, but goats are less obliging

goats kick, butt & bite, so it’s hardly surprising

we mainly stick with Daisy, coz were essentially lazy

it’s a bit of a nerve really, us nicking their milk like that

especially when we take out the good bits like the cream & the fat

a little calf would be glad of some of that

cows are contented, and normally quiet

but a few years ago we mucked up their diet

they went mad, and kicked up a stink

but all the ringleaders are culled now I think

my daughter Louise loves banana milk which is quite expensive

but think of the poor cow that has to dispense it

bananas for breakfast, bananas for luncheon

deprived of any nice grass that she could munch on

human milk is rich and sweet, and all the better from the teat

but what with the twins Len & Louise,

I never had enough left to make any cheese

if they did human cheese in Sainsburys, Id give it a go

but most of em round here would pull a face and say ‘no

i’ll stick with cows that are bred for their yield

cluster bombing pats all over the field’

but at least a human would get paid properly

not kept in a field & branded as property

mums could make it their selves, like a cottage industry

churn butter, homogenise milk & always stay busty

my cheese idea is still not abating

vera gal, are you by any chance lactating?

evans - april 2006

[Rudi]

Bland stuff Percy. Still going through a problem period? No wonder you are getting no feedback. Theres not much positive anyone could find in here.

[Steve]

I appear to have missed this little gem! Sorry Evans...

You're still a nutter!

Do you think Sainsburys might take up the challenge then?

[merciful evans]

i wish they would!

'n thanks 4 standing up 4 me against that 'rudi' geezer