Lisa Gates

Good Show Skin! OH how I hate when someone gets their lips done. It looks disgusting! But Ralph/truth aren't quite hitting my Stateside ears right...perhaps with a New Zealand accent it might rhyme better? lol I loved the beard in the bridge. Lisa

Rudi, thanks I think... this is great fun the weekly challenge! glad to see you playing! Lisa

I feel this is pretty weak but I can't get it out of my head so I'm giving it to you all! You and Me by Lisa M. Guzda Here we are you and me In the best years that we’ve seen The kids have all grown And moved out on their own Working days are all through We’ve got better things to do Drinking at the pool The best way to stay cool Wait, you can’t be serious You are not mysterious There are three of us here You are making it so clear Now it’s you and me Your I-phone makes it three It’s such a lovely day We should make it go our way Who are you texting You said you were resting Chorus Bridge: Now I see how it’s addicting You have the power in your hand I’m headed to the mall Going to the I-phone stand Now I am serious And yes so mysterious There are four of us now Getting through to you somehow Now it’s us and them I-phones brought us together again

I get it, no Walmart! thank God! Can I come live there? I am apaulled at the monopolies here. eh...land of the free they say... Oh and we call Target Tah jay (with a french accent!)

I liked it that I thought I knew but wasn't sure...sign of a good writer! Oh and that Les knew too! Good one!

Hi Goldy, I just have to wonder whoooo this song is about?!! Ha Ha Ha Did he really get a tattoo? I'm behind on Enews. Good one! Your rhymes are realling flowing in this lyric. Lisa

Please tell me you don't have Walmarts in Australia?!! ugh they are taking over the WORLD!!!

Gary, I deal with it by writing about it. I have one song that is simply entiled "Anger" about my lack of control of my brother's cancer. I wish screaming or crying could help but it does not. I see you know all about this and I'm sorry you had to go through it. Chin up. somehow.... Lisa

Gary, I looked up Wog and I thought I'd find it meant you weren't feeling well (we say we've got a bug as in a stomach bug) but the Urban Dictionary had another description that doesn't match what you said so...what are you saying? About the notes, it's only Tuesday and you can still post notes cause it's only Monday here in the states and the UK! ha ha ha! I love that 14 hours! I was happy with my 26 for Week 2 because my peers were so bad to me in week 1...I guess this week won't win me any points either. BLAH! I think I'll download these videos like Mahesh pointed out and go over them when I'm done with these 6 weeks and get better understanding of these new tools. I mean really?, did Bob Dylan actually know about family rhymes and multi syllables? I doubt it... Anyway, thanks for your thoughts on my chorus...yes that would've been better and I could've changed the melody a bit to make it work. I hope you feel ok...? All the best, Lisa

Here are the lyrics for my Week 3 assignment. I have to find a loop that matches the tune in my head. HELP needed in the chorus? Line 3 is sung with 3 syllables does my notation reflect that ok? Everybody By Lisa M. Guzda A (FAMILY RHYME) (8 SYLLABLES) When somebody’s heart is hurting B (ADDITIVE RHYME) (5 SYLLABLES) They lash out at you A (FAMILY) (8 SYLLABLES) Their pain makes them feel uncertain B (ADDITIVE RHYME) (5 SYLLABLES) They can’t see the truth A (ADDITIVE RHYME) (6 SYLLABLES) Everybody feels pain B (FAMILY RHYME) (6 SYLLABLES) Everybody feels hurt C (FAMILY RHYME) (3 SYLLABLES IN MELODY) Sometimes A (ADDITIVE RHYME) (9 SYLLABLES) Nobody wants to feel that again B (FAMILY RHYME) (9 SYLLABLES) Nobody wants to play a lead part C (FAMILY RHYME) (3 SYLLABLES) Break the ties X (4 SYLLABLES) Hard to be strong I wrote this after visiting my brother. His wife was not very nice to me and I know it is because of my brother’s illness that she is hurting . http://soundcloud.com/lisagates/everybody-week-3-assignment

Gary, Are you adding the notes to your submission? it really explains the story which is so hard to create in one verse and chorus. I don't know how to make my chorus flow with out music. I read your chorus and it is choppy but when I hear it to music, I get it. I'm posting my lyrics below. Can you take a peek and see if they rhymes are correct? I know it's last minute but if you can, I'd like to know your opinion. thanks, Lisa

Gary, it's been a busy/bad week for me here. short handed at work so I can't take my computer breaks to listen to the videos this week. I forgot to do one quiz and had to guess at the answers because I only had 6 minutes to submit it...I like to procrastinate but this time I just plain ran out of time and forgot. Dang!!!!! Thanks to you, my Week 2 Assingment was graded with a 26 (out of 30 I think?) so much better than week one... I'm going to try to put mine to music but don't have the chours unstable enough. This is way outside my comfort zone this week! all the best, Lisa

yup, I'm still scared I let you know what I decide on that typo soon. It's a close call either way... lol

Typo for me.... Drag out of us is correct. Kel, you are getting to know me well...scary!!!

Hi Skin! Boy did John ask for it with this challenge! Pop, Love, and Rebellious! Little did he know what it would draf out of us all! Your change in the chorus makes a very clear picture. I picture a movie scene! Good one

Well, I know you better than that! I never thought you would blame someone for being intimidated by such a huge endeavour of learning an instrument. I think you and I have talked about my "laziness" or frustration of not practising what I really want to learn because it seems so overwhelming. I actually know 5 whole chords on the guitar! but they never support the melodies in my head soooo I just gave up... I am lucky to have a voice that usually is on key (no comments from the "peanut gallery please) I want to know the basics of guitar chords enough to write the melodies in my head so that is why I agreed whole heartedly with your suggestion. Thanks!

OMG!

Whoa Kel, that was awesome, funny and smart. I have to take it all in!You are so right on the bridge, i mentioned that in my notes that i hated it...or something like that. you said: "Maybe I'm reading things that aren't there but this is what the song is saying to me. I think the girl is fluctuating between being the victim and the predator, and that is maybe how teenage girls think about this time in their lives, I don't know, I've never been a teenage girl. (Not meant as a smartass comment.) If this is the sort of story you are telling, be consistent with it... start as the victim then move towards being predator and keep going in that direction. (Predator seems too strong a word, but I'm meaning somebody who is looking to stand up for herself, and is not willing to let things happen, she wants to make things happen... I hope you know what I am getting at.)" you are spot on! but have one quesiton to start: Did I miss an article somewhere? one of your blogs? Stress/accent points ps. my syllables are perfect! lol

Goldy, Clean-cut structure, rhyme scheme and thoughts. Definitely Gangsta. Love the re-write! Lisa

I have a few notes before the song: 1. To the "Just" Nazi - I used the word "just" out of necessity not as a fill in. It also softens the line with the word "text" in it. So not a peep out of you ok Kel?! LOL help me if you can! 2. I listen to Top 40 here in the States and I don't hear any rebellious song on the radio except for Rhianna's "Whips and Chains" (that must have been a risky one to pitch!) so I've squeezed a little "bad" into the bridge. 3. Last week I wrote a verse and chorus for the Pat Pattison free Songwriting Course for Berklee School of Music and have written this song around that verse and chorus because it needed to be a song and I needed to complete/finish my thoughts...I hope this is isn't cheating? 4. I have a tune in my head for this one. thanks for reading! It’s OK By Lisa M. Guzda Has it come to your attention? I haven’t sent a text Oh now you are wondering Should’ve waited for real sex You say you want to be friends No use falling in love My heart longs to be yours Just a text is not enough Chorus Go ahead deny me Go ahead say you don’t care Go ahead I won’t believe you anyway It’s ok to love me It’s ok to say you care It’s ok you’re gonna want me everyday I’ve been warned about your type Seems you don’t play fair I never met someone like you You are bad beyond compare When are you coming over? So we can get to it I’ve been saving it for you I’m hotter than I admit Bridge: Yeah I’m still living at home, mom and dad won’t leave me alone I don’t care let’s get hot, you can take all I’ve got Chorus Go ahead deny me Go ahead say you don’t care Go ahead I won’t believe you anyway It’s ok to love me It’s ok to say you care It’s ok you’re gonna want me everyday, everyday, everyday

This is the best thread! Y'all are cracking me up! Love it!

Kel, I know what you mean. Probably just Hollywood exaggerating the truth. They NEVER do that! LOL I forgot Russell Crowe was in that. Now I have to go see it! yummy! L

Kel! What it is with Aussie guys and me!?! I can't even say I'm drawn to the accent 'cause we're mostly just writing here....hmmmm I will ponder that some more. You should sign up for the course for the next round. I'm learning alot. Gary is taking killer notes so read through them (or print if you can). Lisa

"Well Said, Well Spoken" (a quote from one of my favorite stupid movies...) I am such a lyricist...but I do try to sing my lyrics...still not quite the same. thanks HoboSage!

Good for you Rudi! The Holiday is old enough it should be at the library! enjoy! Lisa