[Challenge #25 - There Goes The Neighbourhood]

 

The fire that burns within /I like the title, it suits the song

 

Verse:

Inside this chaos I try to breath

They all have their opinion

Like they know where my road will lead

Why does nobody seem to listen

 

Verse:

As I write my voice down on paper/this line doesn't make sense to me/ maybe As I make my voice known

Will it all be loud enough

Make them look up, see me as a creator/maybe see me as a leader

A star beginning to rise above

 

Chorus:/I like your Chorus, its a statement of belief

I will follow my own path

Set this world on fire

As I step into the light

You can call me a liar

But this is my dream

It's the flame that burns within

 

Verse:/ Good verse of defiance.

This isn't the end, just the beginning

I raise my hands to the sky

I swear I won't stop until I'm winning

Cause you all know that I

 

Chorus:

I will follow my own path

Set this world on fire

As I step into the light

You can call me a liar

But this is my dream

It's the flame that burns within

 

 

And I wrote another one:

Metal heart/ This one I think doesn't relate to the picture image as well as the one above.

Verse:

I see their eyes following me

Like I'm an evil witch

Ready to be burned down at the stake

Or to be throwed of the bridge

 

Verse:

They're labbeling me a sinner

For being who I am

Wearing band shirts and headbanging

It's a part of being a metal fan

 

Chorus:

You can never break me down

A metal heart beats strong

As I stretch my arms to the sky

Putting the horns up high

Showing you I'm proud to be

A member of this big family

 

Verse:

So we love loud and heavy music

Kicking inside the moshpit

Does it make us criminals

Wouldn't you dance on a good beat

 

Chorus:

You can never break me down

A metal heart beats strong

As I stretch my arms to the sky

Putting the horns up high

Showing you I'm proud to be

A member of this big family

 

Vagda, I think your first song relates well to the male standing defiantly signing the crowd. It has good descriptive imagery. With a few tweaks it will be very good! As always your writing brings strong emotion and you express yourself well!

 

Goldy    

[Challenge #25 - There Goes The Neighbourhood]

Satan's Got the Show

 

 

Verse:

 

Furious eyes shoot anger

Haunted by glaring light

Orange, blazing fingers

Torch the black night

 

Verse:

 

Demons of Pyromania

Scramble far and near

Hearing crackling sounds

It's music to their ears

 

Chorus

 

Satan's got the show

See the flames grow

Can't put the fire out

No, no, no

 

Satan's got the show

See the flames glow

Can't put the fire out

No, no, no

 

Bridge:

 

"You can go straight to Hell"

A rioter screams out loud 

He signs the Devil's horns

Wildly mocking the crowd

 

Chorus:

 

Satan's got the show

See the flames grow

Can't put the fire out

No, no, no

 

Satan's got the show

See the flames glow

Can't put the fire out

No, no, no

 

 

Ending Outro

 

Can't put the fire out

Satan's got the show

[Challenge #24 The Number Of The Beast?]

Very pretty song Goldy.

Les

Thanks Les, I hope your job hunting is successful. Whoever hires you will be lucky to have a committed person like you!

 

Goldy  

[Challenge #24 The Number Of The Beast?]

Maybe you live Avery gentle life, Goldy:

Johnnie is Johnnie Walker scotch whisky,

Jim is Jim Beam bourbon,

The Captain is Captain Morgan rum and

Jack is Jack Daniels Tennessee Whisky.

It isn't a funny situation because since she left him, he's developed a drinking problem.

40 ounces is the imperial measurement for a litre!

K

Yeah, I really missed the mark! I don't drink, so I totally missed the meaning. I thought you were referring to room mates, that's why I was referring to Olson Wilson and Ben Stiller, now I see it's not so funny. Sorry Kel. Duh, it went over my head. 

 

Goldy

[Challenge #24 The Number Of The Beast?]

"I ate Eight"

 

Well slap my knee, whats for dinner/didn't think and was necessary

Maybe spam or eggs on toast.

I've tried so hard to be a winner

lose some weight of which i'd boast./don't need and

 

I've ran the K's, and popped some pills

Worked out hard, let's get this straight

I'm cutting back on donuts, instead on one /should it be of ?

I ate Eight.

 

It's a start....Lol MMmmm Doooooonuuuts 

Welcome to the forum, Loyd, I see you have a good sense of humor! I like it, just needs more lyrics and it has the potential to be a very funny song.

 

Goldy    

[Challenge #24 The Number Of The Beast?]

Yes, the screecher is me, in all my inability to hold a tune.

 

Not sure why you see it is hilarious, but the reference to Toby Keith I love.

 

Thanks,

Kel

Why I see it as hilarious, is I can imagine Jack moves in and he's alright but Johnnie moves in and lets the, dishes and laundry pile up, because he doesn't want to be the house wife. So the men end up arguing, and he leaves, then Jim the next guy moves in, and  everyone gets on each others nerves, fighting over the remote control, and so on, kind of like a revolving door, .The chorus is what made me think that way. It kind of refers the men couldn't stand living with each other, except for Jack.

 

I thought it was very humorous!

 

Goldy    

Jack moved in when you moved out

And it looks like he's here to stay.

Johnnie came and went again,

Jim could only take me half way,

When the Captain couldn't set me free

There was nothin else I could do,

Jack has been taking good care of me

In a forty ounce dose of gettin' over you. 

[Challenge #24 The Number Of The Beast?]

Nice one Goldy. I see elegance in the simplicity. Bravo!

 

Kel

Thanks Kel, for the lovely compliment! I saw Number One Girl in my mind's eye and wrote it as I saw her. A beautiful black race horse, blue ribbon winner!

 

Goldy    

[Challenge #24 The Number Of The Beast?]

 

Forty Ounce Dose

 

https://soundcloud.com/kelabbmusic/kel-abbott-2

 

Jack moved in when you moved out

And it looks like he's here to stay.

Johnnie came and went again,

Jim could only take me half way,

When the Captain couldn't set me free

There was nothin else I could do,

Jack has been taking good care of me

In a forty ounce dose of gettin' over you.

 

When you packed your bags and slammed the door

You left a man who had no idea.

As your tyres spun in the driveway

I was gettin' me another beer.

 

 

Jack moved in when you moved out

And it looks like he's here to stay.

Johnnie came and went again,

Jim could only take me half way,

When the Captain couldn't set me free

There was nothin else I could do,

Jack has been taking good care of me

In a forty ounce dose of gettin' over you.

 

All the boys complained when I didn't join in

For the regular Tuesday night game.

I was deuces wild at the twist and shout

And still don't remember her name.

 

Jack moved in when you moved out

And it looks like he's here to stay.

Johnnie came and went again,

Jim could only take me half way,

When the Captain couldn't set me free

There was nothin else I could do,

Jack has been taking good care of me

In a forty ounce dose of gettin' over you.

 

They come and go but the truth be told

They aren't the woman you are at all.

Jack has been taking good care of me

In a forty ounce dose of...

 

Jack moved in when you moved out

And it looks like he's here to stay.

Johnnie came and went again,

Jim could only take me half way,

When the Captain couldn't set me free

There was nothin else I could do,

Jack has been taking good care of me

In a forty ounce dose of gettin' over you. 

 

Kel, this is hilarious, this something I could picture Toby Keith singing or even could be a song for a movie with Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller in the cast.. Very original, I laughed so hard when I listened to it. Is that you singing the demo? I noticed the singer has an accent.

 

A+     Goldy

[Challenge #24 The Number Of The Beast?]

Thought I'd write something different, this time about a horse, an animal I think is magnificent!

 

 

Number One Girl

 

Verse:

 

She was a little filly

With wobbly knees

Chasing yellow butterflies

Flying in the breeze

 

Verse:

 

Now she's grown up

Into a graceful mare

With a shiny, black coat

Eating grass without care

 

Chorus:

 

Number One Girl

A blue ribbon queen

Flying down the track

Like a racing machine

 

Her hooves thunder

As they hit the ground

Pushing her ahead

Of every horse around

 

Verse:

 

She'd prance and whine

At the starting gate

When they fired the gun

She'd never hesitate

 

Chorus:

 

Number One Girl

A blue ribbon queen

Flying down the track

Like a racing machine

 

Her hooves thunder

As they hit the ground

Pushing her ahead

Of every horse around

 

Verse: 

 

Many years have passed

I still see her brown eyes

Now, she's in Heaven

Racing through the skies

 

Ending Chorus

 

Number One Girl

At night can be seen

Racing across the stars

A blue ribbon queen

 

Goldy

 

[Challenge #23 Liberal Literate Lyrical Alliteration]

Hi Goldy,

 

I like the simple wish to do something worthwhile... nice.

 

The final line of the chorus twists my head a little... you change tense... all through the chorus you're speaking past tense, then back to present in that last line. If you try the word "died" all would be right.

 

Nicely done.

 

K

 

Thanks Kel, for your keen observation, and nice comments I changed it to died. I get my tenses mixed up all the time, it gets so confusing sometimes. Also, as I said to Vagda, I wanted to write something positive that would lift people's spirits up!

 

Goldy          

[Challenge #23 Liberal Literate Lyrical Alliteration]

Good job done on the challenge

Such a positive song!! After reading it I feel so much power and energy going trough me.

 

Thanks Vagda, for the nice comments. I wanted to write something with a positive message, about caring about other people. That in fact,  we should be our brothers keeper! 

 

Goldy       

[Challenge #23 Liberal Literate Lyrical Alliteration]

Well this challenge turned out a real challenge!

Not to keen on my offering but I am done, no chorus as I thought I would have but may try to finish one and add it.

All you guys who have posted songs, they are really good well done and that is meant as a real compliment as I know how difficult this has been! for me anyway.

Hairy Hound

I have a hairy hound called Willy

I love that big ole dog so much

He is super soft, soppy n silly

And I like to feel his furry touch

One day Willy went weird n wild

I had to keep him locked indoors

He bit Billy Bob next doors child

I couldn’t let him out no more

Despite all my doubts I had decided

Ole Willy boy was getting worse

To keep him kenneled up killed me

I knew he had some doggy curse

I considered a careful course of action

As I didn’t want to let him down

To try and find a fix for my friend

I took him to the vets in town

I pulled up and paid for parking

Right outside the clinic front door

Willy got agitated, anxious and worried

As he had seen this place before

The vet verified a viral infection

Nothing that he could not treat

Over joyed over charged over excited/ I love this line, especially over charged. Ha! Ha! isn't it the truth!

I went and danced in the street

B

Now Willy’s fine and he’s back to health

And he runs around the yard all day

I'm glad I didn’t lose the best friend I have

I'm glad that he’s here to stay

Les, you did exactly what a song is suppose to do, tell a story. The first verse you describe Willy and draw us in with your love for the dog. The next verse you hold  us captive with what's going to happen to Willy after he bites Billy Bob's child. The next 2 verses you build the suspense as to what course of action your going to take. The final 2 verses you charm us with your sense of humor and  delightful ending of the song!  Very well written, I would say it's a humorous Children's song in my opinion.

 

Great Job! It made me laugh and I loved it!

 

Goldy            

[Challenge #23 Liberal Literate Lyrical Alliteration]

After reading what Kel had I got inspiration some way.

So here it is. Don't have alliterations in my bridge, is that a problem?

Forgive me

 

Verse:

Lost, like leaves that linger through the street

Wandering on the waves of the wind

The air still smells so sweet

It must be all in my mind

 

Verse:

Dreams of dead darken my days, night after night

All alone I awake again in bed

Can't turn this wrong to right

These thoughts wear so heavy in my head

 

 

Chorus:

Forgive me for wanting

One last kiss

Forgive me for seeking

A way to have what I miss

Forgive me, forgive me

I can't let go of this

 

Verse:

Running, round and round, retracing our steps

But your figure fades so fast

Maybe it is time to accept

I must leave you in the past

 

Chorus:

Forgive me for wanting

One last kiss

Forgive me for seeking

A way to have what I miss

Forgive me, forgive me

I can't let go of this

 

 

Bridge:

The car came, crashed so fast

Were you in pain

Did you cry before you passed

I remember the last thing I said/ I whispered these words with my breath  

'I love you forever, forever and beyond dead' beyond dead doesn't seem to fit. It takes away the poetic language that you are portraying in your beautiful lyrics./ I'll love you forever and forever beyond death

 

 

Chorus:

Forgive me for wanting

One last kiss

Forgive me for seeking

A way to have what I miss

Forgive me, forgive me

I must let go of this

Vagda, this is sad, but lovely and, very well written with a lot of emotional projection. Your song gave  a picture of someone tormented with grief who lost a lover in a car crash. This is one of your best! One nit I had was the two last lines in the bridge in blue above marked in the lyrics.

 

Still a moving and beautiful song!

 

Goldy             

[Challenge #23 Liberal Literate Lyrical Alliteration]

 

Here goes...

 

Catch of the Day!

 

I went to the river with my fishing pole,

Baited the line, cast into the hole.

To my suprise what happened next

Was the biggest damn prize I've had in my net!

Tony the Trout took the bait real fine,

Swivelled and swerved and sweated the line,

He zigged and he zagged and zigged again,

But I rocked and I rolled and I reeled him in!

 

I told my buddy 'bout my angling score,

Didn't believe what I put in store.

So he wanted evidence and I can't blame,

If he told me the story I'd be wanting the same!

Headed home with a half baked plan

Of providing proof of my pelagic ham

I looked and I loaded and I laid it thick

And I did the deed and I dared a trick.

 

Everyone knows that a fisherman's truth

Ain't exactly the same as a chicken's tooth!

 

I called my partner said to come round quick

I had all I needed that would do the trick

Out the back there was a table laid

And on a silver platter was the catch of the day!

Mango curry and mild mint sauce

And some great green grapes, peeled of course.

He balked then he buttered a corn bran bun

And he fed on the fish from the market run. 

 

Kel, the older you get, you're like an aged bottle of wine. Pouring yourself out into your writing! Terrific song, I loved the clever humor and lyrics. Especially the second and last verse.

 

Great Job!  Goldy      

[Challenge #23 Liberal Literate Lyrical Alliteration]

Here is my effort

 

 

Live in the Moment

 

Verse:

I'm whirling in the wind with life
Embracing every exciting day
Blowing away clouds of sorrow
Lady love is leading the way

Verse:

Tame thoughts teach me peace
When panic pushes problems near
I'm treading on my faith  
Holding my head above fear

 

Chorus:  

I'm making my life count
Before my last breath 
I live in the moment
I live in the moment
Before I'm laid to rest

Tomorrow is unpredictable
Like a red rose fading away
I live in the moment
I live in the moment
I'm living for today

 

Verse:

 

My sunny smile shines in the world
On all the people who pass me by
I hold the hurting hand of someone
Wiping tears away from their eyes

 

Bridge:

 

When I look back at time

I wont be sad or even sigh
I'll remember all those years
I made a difference before I died

 

Chorus:  

I'm making my life count
Before my last breath 
I live in the moment
I live in the moment
Before I'm laid to rest

Tomorrow is unpredictable
Like a red rose fading away
I live in the moment
I live in the moment
I'm living for today

 

 

Goldy          

[Challenge #23 Liberal Literate Lyrical Alliteration]

Been quite ill, Just stopped by for a minute to wish Kel a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

 

 

 

 

Goldy

[Challenge #22 The Comeback King]

I found this to be difficult, but challenging, so I went for it. Any suggestions are appreciated.

 

Redemption Song

 

Him

 

I thought I 'd make a comeback 

I miss the lights, flashing our name

Memories of you and me together 

Not the songs that brought us fame

 

Her

 

Why do you think I'd work with you ?

You left town for a better fate

When you sang, you were never on time

Your womanizing, made you late

 

Him

 

I took the wrong fork in the road

Open your heart, give us one more try

Remember how we harmonized?  

Fans were screaming, for you and I 

 

Him

Let's sing together, do you remember when?

 

Her

Yeah, when you deserted me and our friends

 

Him

I lost my mind, liquor caused me to drown 

 

Her

What if you drink again, and pull me down?

 

Him

Didn't you read, how I crashed and nearly died

 

Her

So, you've changed and now you're gonna' try?

 

Him

 The Lord saved me, just wait and you'll see

 

Her

I forgive you, but I know there's no guarantee

 

 

 

Him

We'll sing a redemption song, you and me 

 

Him

 

Sing about faith and bring em' to their knees

 

Him

With you standing by my side we'll both be strong

 

Him

We'll talk about forgiving in our redemption song

 

 

Her

 

We'll tell em' it's their soul they could lose

 

Her

 

They 'll  think twice before they choose

 

Her

 

Tell em' to walk the straight and narrow way

 

Her

 

Look up to Heaven, if they think they'll stray

 

 

Chorus Together Repeat 2X

 

Will sing a redemption song you and me

 

About a God who died to set us free

 

Tell em' to love and forgive everyone

 

Seek the Father and His only Son

 

Love your neighbor the best you can

 

And give the poor a helping hand

 

Will sing a redemption song you and me

 

About a God who who died to set us free 

 

 

 

Goldy  

 

 

 

 

[Challenge #21 Coming Of Age]

Thanks everybody, for your encouragement. #1,was nice while it lasted, for 2 days. Oh, well, see what I mean about fame being a hard road. Lol. The road just took a detour down to 3.  "C'est la vie!  

 

 

Goldy

 

 

[Challenge #21 Coming Of Age]

Thank you all for being so supportive! That's why I love Songstuff's Lyric Challenge.

 

 

 

 

Goldy      .

[Challenge #21 Coming Of Age]

Hey everybody, not to brag but my songs have put me in #1 in Phoenix Arizona, for Christian Rock.

 

I know it won't last. But, it sure feels good! Her'es the link! My name is Into the Light.

 

http://www.reverbnation.com/main/charts?artist_id=3448914&genre=Christian%20Rock&genre_geo=Local

 

Thanks John, and all the rest of  you, it's because of the challenges!

 

Goldy      

[Challenge #21 Coming Of Age]

Okay Kel, I'm going to make a few comments, . I like both your songs, I think they're fresh teen pop type lyrics. The second one seems more mature than the first one, a coming of age song, is what I mean. Justine recognizes the worth of the very beloved man Mandela and inspires to be like him. I can see the transition, from girl to more of a woman. Nice touch!

 

Goldy  

 

Just a Tool

 

I see you struttin' round town

In your backward cap,

Acting as if you're a real cool cat.

But I know better,

You're just a scared little boy

Yeah, it's just an act,

Yeah, that's a fact.

 

You got your entourage

But you don't have me,

And now you know that you never will.

And I know somethin'

You don't want your fans to know

Yeah, but you can chill

Yeah, wait until...

 

RAP

I update my status and you're out in the cold

I found a real man and the truth be told

He's way better lookin' and he's got some moves,

He's in his own class yeah the man is smooth.

 

We saw you spit on your fans

Boy that ain't so cool

And nobody now will even follow you.

And I know somethin'

And the world will soon know it too,

Yeah, you is just a fool/did you mean is or is it a typo? You're sounds better, unless your a home', lol.

Yeah, just a tool.

 

Obviously, the "event" is the infamous spitting on his fans incident that one Canadian teenage pop "star" seems to think is a great way to act, and maybe he is also the tool?

Oh, and Justine obviously has a new beau...

 

 

 

　

Remembered

 

I saw the news today

Told of a great man passing

I want to be remembered that way.

All I do is sing

Don't fix anything

How can I be remembered that way?

 

As I walk on the stage

I beam my sweetest smile

I want to be remembered this way.

When I start my show

Everybody knows

How can I be remembered this way?

 

RAP

I know you're there and always will be

By my side ready to support me

I want to leave a legacy

That's greatest than the world has seen...

 

And in the news today

A singer tries to change the world.

How I want to be remembered this way.

All I do is sing

My music has to bring

A way for me to be remembered this way.

 

Nelson Mandela's passing is the event as you probably guessed, and in this one Justine is expressing her wish to be remembered as he is. And hopefully she will  choose this song to do it...

 

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[Challenge #21 Coming Of Age]

Thanks Kel, for your comments, I changed it to Red Carpet Ball. I believe that's 10 syllables. I used the syllable counter for the other one too, but I guess it doesn't include MTV. I also changed the title, you always keep me on my toes and I appreciate it,

 

 

Goldy  

[Challenge #21 Coming Of Age]

My first song,.

 

Unstoppable

 

Verse

 

When I saw you at the Red Carpet ball

I was lost in your blue, blue eyes

You smiled and winked at me 

My feelings took me over by surprise

 

My face began to flush, turning bright red 

Like a school girl with her first crush

I felt my heart flutter

Blood ran all through my veins in such a rush 

 

Chorus

 

Unstoppable

Yes,unstoppable

I'm falling         

I'm trapped,      

Like a bird in a snare

There's no way out of this

When I close my eyes 

I can taste our first kiss

 

Verse:

 

Even, Obama wants to hear you sing

Dressed up in your famous disguise

But all I want to know

Is if your really a sincere guy

 

 

Chorus:

 

Unstoppable

Yes, unstoppable

I'm falling

I'm trapped

Like a bird in a snare

There's no way out of this

When I close my eyes

I can taste our first kiss

 

Rap

 

Your more to me than a boy that's only just a flirt

If you know my secret I'm afraid that I'll get hurt

It's unstoppable and I'll have to take chance with you

You dazzle me like a star, there's nothing I can do 

 

 

 

Goldy  

 

 

Second song

 

 

Fames a Hard Ride

 

 

I read about famous ones like me

Overwhelmed with wrong desires

Teenagers who committed suicide

Let drugs consume them up like fire

 

That's why I want you to be in my life

I can't sing in the light alone

If temptation knocks at my door

It won't find me all on my own

 

Fames a hard ride

It drives you out of reality

Takes you to a life of luxury

You climb false stairs

Leading to a downfall

Falling in a deep hole

While money robs your soul

Fames a hard ride 

 

I wish I could tell you just how I feel

Chills run up and down on my spine

I see your face in the tabloids

I dream about making you mine.

 

Fame's a hard ride

It drives you out of reality 

Takes you to a life of luxury

You climb false stairs

Leading to a downfall

Falling a deep hole

While money robs your soul

Fames a hard ride

 

Rap

 

Even though we both are on the same fame ride

We can help each other standing side by side

Keeping ourselves balanced talking every day

Then life doesn't have to sweep us both away 

 

Goldy    

[Challenge #20 Your Favourite Artist]

John, what's next?

 

 

 

Goldy  

[#20 My Song See His Face]

Thank you Rudi, you made my husband's day, with such a lovely compliment. I can see why you listen to Reverend Davis, he's very authentic in gospel singing and playing his guitar. I can see why he's a favorite of yours. By the way I liked your voice, it's mellow and smooth, very nice, from what I could hear.

 

 

Goldy