Lazz

Hi Norm. I seem to remember that you disappeared shortly after I mailed a CD. That's the power of music !! Good to see you finally back. Warm Regards, Lazz

A 3-year-old boy examines his testicles while taking a bath. 'Mum', he asks, 'Are these my brains'? 'Not yet', she replies.

1. Do you sing, play an instrument or instruments? I sing – voice is my instrument. I can make noises with other stuff but choose not to do so in public. (Such a gentleman!) I use keyboard and ear-holes for arranging. I am largely self-taught - so it's been a slow road. Luckily, it has been my privilege to work with some amazingly wondrous players and enjoy the benefits of fabulous on-the-job training. I have also grabbed opportunities for odd lessons and workshops here and there whenever the chance arose and arises. There is always loads more to learn. I wish those education resources had been available to me much earlier. 2. Are you in a band or bands? If there is a gig – there is a band. What other instruments are in the band? That depends on who is available. Do you have a band website? Nope. 3. Do you write songs? Yes – well, I collaborate. My writing partner is a proper musician so nowadays I stick to lyrics. The world is much better-off. 4. Do you record your music? We use a regular recording studio. And real live musicians. Do you have music available on the web? Yup – it’s available from all the regular places. Some of our songs are even listenable - if you can bear it – on the FaceBook page for Hip Pocket Music. 5. What other roles do you perform in the music business? Management? Have done. Label owner? Unfortunately. Publishing? Yes Promotion? Have done. Other? Yes. 6. Are you a tech head? Nope. But barely human. 7. What country do you live in? Canada. If you can call this living. 8. What are your ambitions? Becoming better. Evasion of creditors. Posthumous fame and success. Realistic alternatives appear most unlikely. 9. Do you draw/paint/write stories/computer art/dance or other creative pursuit? I write stuff. Pastimes??? Maybe I should get some. 10. What would you like to get out of Songstuff? Conversation.

The band manager walks into a rehearsal room and finds a complete mess with an angry bass player in one corner and the drummer in another, mouthing threats, while the drum kit lies broken smashed and bleeding between them. "What the hell's going on here?" asks the manager. "It's his fault" says the bass player; "He started it!"........ The manager looks at both his fuming rhythm players and says; "Okay, what happened?" The bass player points an accusing finger at the drummer and says; "He de-tuned one of my strings!" And the astonished manager says, "And you did all that?" The bass player says, "Yeah - He won't tell me which one".

Yes ! Old skool. That's how to dress for the studio.

Just to clarify then, which subjects are we talking about in this case ? I had been presuming songwriting – but I have been wrong before. For me, the challenge lay in discovering the different taken-for-granted assumptions of individual ways of making sense, multiplied by the chatter of potential misunderstandings across each other. (On those occasions where there were participants, of course.) Exactly. I thnk that’s my point. Without the ability to assess a level of concept and ability, identify individual needs and goals, it seems tough to find a mutual place to start. At least the one-to-one of mentoring reduces the noise. But it still looks difficult to me. Long-winded or not, mentoring through the written word is arduous. A heavy commitment. I didn’t mean that there is an official test for certificated competence. And you probably didn’t think I did either. But I Just wanted to clear that up. It can often be far worse if it isn’t the ‘right’ help. That’s the crux of the qualification question for me. I recently watched this same topic being debated on another site and observed that those rare few with the temerity to suggest their own qualification for the role were not actually best equipped to do it. The words ‘dangerously misinformed’ hover temptingly. How can someone offer guidance if they themselves are lost without a map ? No – I think it is not only the perfect word but also a noble respected institution to which I am indebted. I merely question whether we truly have the resources to perform the function effectively. Effective mentoring relationships in my personal experience are self-selecting. They need to be cultivated. I haven’t voted yet.

What ? Where ? Did he delete another post again ? Nick - I wish you would stop doing that. John - mentoring is an appealing concept but one about which I have doubts in this context. I have benefitted immeasurably from mentors who have contributed support, encouragement, and education. Their help has been fundamental and irreplaceable. But it seems to function as a personal face-to-face relationship in which reciprocal understandings can be established and developed, ambiguities resolved, confusions clarified, and examples demonstrated, etcetera. The crucial aspect appears to me to be the impossibility of aiding someone to move forward without a more exact knowledge of where they’re at as well as where they are aiming. We can achieve that through direct personal dealing, but I don’t believe that such knowledge is established easily, if at all, through internet dialogue. I am not saying that the internet is an absolutely impossible medium for this – obviously it can be convenient at times and perform many valuable supporting functions in communication – but just bloody difficult and immensely time-consuming. Just look at the issues we attempted to confront during the failed workshop exercises. Another question would be about who here is actually qualified as mentor. Is there anyone who would seriously presume to that status ?

Joe - you're repeating yourself. Must mean we're getting old. But hey -that paper dependency thing is an affliction suffered by the classically-trained cohort. There is a different, more functionally useful, style of music education out there these days, you know. Places where they equip you with skills to do jobs other than orchestral.

Mason - don't know if you're still around at all - but it turns out I do know some of the guys at BIMM and they have great things to say about courses, content, and staffing. Chris Difford is one of the visiting tutors next session and an old mate of mine is also now teaching on the songwriting bit. All very positive. I am about the same, Ryan - no formal education and everything on my own time. Doesn't mean I would dare recommend the same path to others, though. I would have achieved a lot more, better and sooner, if I had gone to school for it. No question.

A quiche is an open pie with vegetables and maybe some finely chopped cooked meat baked in an egg and milk custard. It's French in origin and often regarded as effete - it's certainly NOT your basic macho meat and two veg. There was once even a tongue-in-book about stereotypes of masculinity called "Real Men Don't Eat Quiche". But if you ARE going to eat quiche, then you have to cut it into slices, just like any other regular pie.

A MAN”S JOB (You are what you eat – it is my pleasure to be a ****) Women are so lovely, even better now they’re free To do what e’r they want to do, be what they want to be, To strive for what they dream of, be it ever out of reash But it’s a man’s job To cut the quiche We’re equal now in everything, we have to share the chores. In some parts of the western world, they even have male whores Now some may say in consequence that “Life’s become a bish” But it’s a man’s job To cut the quiche I used to hunt with hand-made spear The tiger, and the mammoth (you have to get up close to them real quiet), I carved the moose for festivals, And roast beef on the sabbath, Way back before our politics got mixed up with our diet ... But love affairs were always an accompaniment of food A metaphor for something more, more sensual than rude, Centuries of history have this one thing to teash That it’s a man’s job To cut the quiche

Thanks, Don. Worth the wait.

I’ve been following this issue with great interest, too. Fascinated by the majority of bloggage opinion and response which sees file-sharing as a Robin Hood activity battling the big bad wolf of major labels. But I ‘ve been getting ripped-off myself through the activities of these sites without being able to do anything about it – and I am certainly not a major label, nowhere near. So the issue for me personally has always been about theft, plain and simple, and nothing at all to do with following trends or the availability of product in new format - that's all a smoke screen. Should people automatically have the freedom to steal from me, from you, from Finn, from Tom, from Andrew ? Should a 3rd party company make profit from enabling and abetting those offences ?

??? ??? (these were just meant to be question marks but that damned emotican monkey got involved again)

I share this sad perspective. and keep a packet of rusty razor-blades to hand at all times.

Of course. There are many.

Retrospectively, it seems I was an ‘indie’ pioneer a quarter of a century ago. We operated outside of the normal model. Did everything in-house. We produced our own independent recordings and booked our own gigs. A week or so prior to each gig (determined by lead-times), I would send a small crew of musicians ahead to do guerilla street performances and cause trouble – providing photo opportunities and a news focus for local media and doing radio interviews and such to promote the impending show. We had independent distribution into specialist retail but (of course) did our biggest sales volumes at gigs. This income basically covered all the office and administration costs while gigs provided our wages. There were twenty-five happy people on the pay-roll. When we eventually moved into the big-boys arena of the established music industry and started gambling with larger label deals, we in effect surrendered control of merchandise, lost that cash-flow, and things started to go wobbly – it marked the beginning of the end. I noticed too that the media who were generally very supportive and generous because of our renegade status became much less so once professional publicists became involved. Back then, that had all been what was considered alternative strategy. At the turn of the millenium, when I arrived at MIDEM to discover the leading key-note conference issue was ring-tones, I realised even the traditional business models were becoming very strange and weirdly desperate for cash. Now that I still persist in producing independent art-music rather than pandering to popular tastes, and the market generally has been shrivelling, I am struggling to sell what I have and attempting to focus more on income streams issuing from third-party placements – which is about as normal and traditional an area of business as you can get, relatively new to me and, because of the low dime situation everywhere else, increasingly crowded with competition. I have also become more jealous and mean about getting my shake of royalty income - and increasingly grumpy about efforts on all sides to restrict my entitlements. I don’t have any kind of effective or sustained internet strategy because I can’t afford the full-time commitment and maintenance it requires to be of real value. But I do have a plan if and when it becomes possible. On one hand, my energy is definitely flagging for the constant up-hill struggle. On the other hand – as far as song-writing goes – I am doing my best work as an old git. Ultimately my strategy is to die and become posthumously successful.

Iving Berlin - who was far from lazy, having written over 3,000 songs, many of which we still hear today - was a self-taught rudimentary pianist who stuck resolutely to the black keys. "The black keys are right there, under your fingers. The key of C is for people who study music." He had a special upright transposing piano that cost him a hundred bucks (apparently almost every Tin Pan Alley publishing house had one, so they were actually pretty common back then) which had a small wheel on the side that shifted the keyboard and hammers to the left or right so he could move outside of his regular F#Major. He called it his Buick. Later, he got one with a lever instead of a wheel. It's in the Smithsonian.

Amusement was my intention. There was an abject 'sob!' of terminal frustration in there too. Sorry - I'm feeling pretty desperate and income deprived.

Making Money In The Music Biz ? Alright. I give up.

Alto and clarinet are notoriously tough to play in tune. But many manage amazingly well. Maybe you're listening to the wrong guys.

Hi Phil. When I said that I thought those questions had been answered I meant that I thought that I had been the guy who answered them in this very thread when you first asked them - so I felt a little frustrated that you hadn't seemed to have read what I took time to write - hope you'll forgive me for that - it happens quite a lot. And the 'shooting yourself in the foot' was meant to be ironic - I was imagining you going in to a potentially rewarding deal somewhere and blowing it because of an approach made of demands rather than reciprocity. Good news that you've joined ASACAP - just the ticket. I would recommend a 'phone call rather than a letter though. Real clarification of the issues happens easier when there is a to-and-fro of dialogue and ambiguities can be resolved immediately. Will save having to write more letters, too. It will be interesting for me and I am sure of great benefit to others if you keep us abreast of developments. I myself have no experience whatsoever of internet collaborations. And that site you are involved with smells a little funny to me. I am glad you are serious about your work and ready to be business-like in dealings. Very refreshing Good luck.

More what ? That is just complete bollocks - and a very bad sign. Attempting to mislead someone about there legal rights can be a criminal offence in the UK - don't know what the consequences might be in the US. I thought these questions had been answered. I thought this had been answered also. If you make a deal with anyone then you can't be the sole decider - both parties have to agree - that's why it's called an 'agreement'. But yeah, you own it you can do what you want with it, you can shoot yourself in the foot if you want to. I will repeat my advice for the last time. The internet is a god-awful place to seek advice on matters like this. The two places to seek guidance are your local Musicians' Association and ASCAP or BMI - whichever one you have joined. If you haven't joined, stop faffling about and do it. Good luck.

Yes, it is. For example: .... from whom ? The composer, or the site-owner? Do the words 'initial reluctance' mean there was eventual acceptance ? Or does disagreement continue ? You still haven't explained exactly what you mean by a 'split sheet'. But the circumstances clearly suggest the wisdom of getting explicit agreement from a collaborator about shares BEFORE working. Having said that, it is certainly not unknown nor uncommon for a third party who played some significant and strategic role in the genesis and development of a recording to expect some authoring share as a legitimate reward, Managers, publishers, producers and studio owners all do this - especially if they are cutting some kind of deal for you. It is regarded as a legitimate quid pro quo. If this site-owner mixed the track and even plays instruments on it, what's in it for him otherwise ? Naughty, naughty. This suggests to me a potential conflict between the rights in the song (owned by lyricist and composer) and the rights in the recording (arguably owned by the geezer who mixed and polished the finished product - 'created on his site'). This means that he can't use the song without your permissions and you can't use the track without his permission. You could also find he has claim under the recent concept of 'neighbouring rights' anyway - 'though I don't know whether this concept stands in your jusrisdiction. The song does - the track doesn't. Your moral rights preserve control over useage ok - but I don't think a fee would actually be your decision alone - that would be based on agreement with the licensor. We didn't contract before hand that we would share profits for the version that was created on his site, or how they would be shared, but that is ultimately up to the owners as well, isn't it? No. You can withhold your permissions for site-owner to use your song - but that still won't make you the owner of that particular track. If you choose to make a different mix then THAT will be yours. Don't know either of those authors - how about complete details ? Did you follow-up on my two suggestions of the Musicians' Association and ASCAP/BMI ? The internet is unreliable for advice of this nature.

I took that as a given, personally. None of the other models work without a fan-base either.