Edmi

Rap is not limited to one emotion. It can be about anything. And a rhyme scheme can have as many rhymes as you want to have in it. Besides, the full version of this song that I posted is up and has plenty of your "hard life shit" in it. Some advice for you is to not be so close-minded.

No I don't know what you mean. Are you saying to not go the whole way up to 8?

You will for sure. The whole thing will go up on here

Alright thanks for the feedback, very helpful man

Hey Rebel, how do you feel about me replacing "hard, bumpin" with "hard as gin"?!Because that works better phonetically with the "again" sound and it it a decent simile because gin hits hard if you drink too much.

I originally had exactly what you wrote but I thought I used "again" too much, but it does sound better like that. Sometimes I think I try to make things too complex rather than just use what sounds good. Thanks for the help though i'll probably change it back to again instead of bumpin'

I appreciate that. It's a technique rappers tend to use when they want to make a complex rhyme scheme. Or you can use it after you write to see where you can tweak some things or to see if it is a good scheme.

I titled this wrong. This is just something I started writing. Not a full verse.

Tough times I’m in. Shopping at Wal-Mart, drive in, Stopping the girl who stole my cart again, I got smart, parked, put holes her cardigan, Here comes Jose with his green card again, Red gums, knee thumped, he hit me hard, bumpin. Dead and dumped like Ted Ginn gettin’ hit, head spinned off, fallin’ apart again. Now I look like a slime, again. __1_2 __3_42 __3_542 __44_542 __6__742 __86_76_7742 __86_2 __2_42 __12 1: times, slime 2: I’m in, drive in, again, (card)igan, again, bumpin’, again, again (I know “again†is repetitive, but I love how it works in this scheme) 3: shopping, stopping 4: smart, parked, mart, cart, card(igan), card, hard, apart 5: stole, holes 6: comes, gums, thumped, dumped 7: green, knee, he, me 8: red, dead, Ted