Hi Fluent Dunks
Firstly, thanks for posting your video. I'd encourage you to offer some feedback to your fellow members for their videos. It helps keep the wheels turning and helps all artists to keep developing their critical skills
I struggled a little to clearly hear your voice. You could maybe bring the vox forwards a bit in your mix. I'd also encourage you to be closer to the camera. When you were closer it was much more engaging. I don't really know why there was a large orange circle covering the right-hand side of the screen. It didn't add anything. Were you blotting something out you didn't want to show?
Just like music needs different textures, you need to think of different scenes for your video. Particularly since Ren became popular single-shot videos are more popular... but he puts a lot of work into making sure that a single continuous shot is absolutely packed with changes in texture, light, space, etc. He keeps moving, and moving pretty quickly, in order to keep the scene changing. He scouts locations to make sure they will be just right for the video, he introduces actors into the mix, lighting changes, etc. In non-continuous shot videos, there is a load of scene cuts to cover cuts because of mistakes, etc, or because of lighting, better performance, and so on.
Either way, there are a ton of ideas. If you were just doing this as a hobby I'd mention a couple of points and move on, but if you really want to move up, you need to keep upping your game, always looking for ways to improve, finding out what works, and doing more of that, and finding out what didn't work and changing that. Experimentation is essential and high standards are a must.
As a rule of thumb, if you think you are getting away with it, you aren't.
I hope this is of some use to you
Cheers
John