snabbu

You are welcome Lisa. I have just posted my assignment three with notes as to what I have done and why I have done it. 10.30 p.m., yes too late for recording. It's a good thing to copy the evaluation check list into your word processor then ask yourself if you are doing each point. Sort of peer review of your own self if that's possible. I have tried now to create a really unstable feeling in my chorus. Like major I want you to yell at the speakers get out of there now or you'll wind up dead. sort of feeling. I've got subtractive then deteriorating to a consonance rhyme. I really like that trick it's kind of cool. Now this is so unstable but it doesn't fell like it's falling over. That last note has just got to be on an e minor chord. I would never have written a chorus like this before doing this course. Cheers Gary

So Now it's assignment 3 https://soundcloud.com/snabbu/assigment-3 in this assignment, you will write a new verse and chorus, this time with a fairly stable verse and an unstable chorus, applying the new tools from this lesson—rhyme scheme and rhyme type. Fellow students will evaluate your assignment based on the criteria below. Use them as a checklist in reviewing your own work. The verse structure is stable. The verse’s idea is appropriate for creating a stable structure. The rhyme scheme and/or rhyme types contribute to the verse’s stability. The chorus structure is unstable. The chorus’s idea is appropriate for creating an unstable structure. The rhyme scheme and/or rhyme types contribute to the chorus’s instability. The verse idea sets up the chorus idea effectively. The verse language is used effectively. It is specific and vivid. The chorus’s title is interesting. Submission I don’t know who you are © Gary Yeomans 2013 Verse They all say I should cut out running Cut my losses dry my tears I never ever see it coming Even after all these years Chorus I don’t know why I still do it I feel the pain, and I know the fear It’s like you’ve locked me in, now I’m a lifer Your words cut me like a rusty knife I don’t know who you are Notes The song idea is the difference between what is sensible to do in certain circumstances and what your emotions tell you, you should do, and how they are different. The verse idea the calm facts set up the emotional chorus as a contrast. You know she should go but you kind of understand why she doesn’t. The verse structure is four lines; alternate lines are of equal length. Nine syllables, seven syllables, nine syllables, seven syllables. The even number of lines and the even line lengths make this structure stable. The verse idea is the statement of facts as to what one should do in an abusive relationship. The stability of the structure allows the narrator to state calmly that she should just leave. Just the facts. This enables the practical facts to be stated so they can be contrasted with the emotive chorus. It enables the listener to easily accept and agree with these facts. The rhyme scheme of the verse is ABAB which supports the stability created by the even line numbers and lengths. The rhyme types are Perfect “Tears / years†and family (nasals) “Running / coming†These rhyme types further support the stable feeling of the verse. The chorus structure is five lines; of uneven lengths. The line lengths increase towards the middle and then decrease towards the end. The five lines create instability, which is supported by the uneven line lengths. The shortening line lengths towards the end of the chorus create restless motion. The chorus idea is an emotional response to exactly the same circumstance as the factual response in the verse. The idea is to contrast the two. The chorus needs to be unstable to show the irrationality of emotions. In the end the listener can understand both responses, and understands things are not always black and white. The chorus rhyme scheme is unstable being ABBA with a non-rhyming line in front to make it XABBA. This enhances the instability established by the uneven line lengths. The chorus rhyme types get less and less resolved as the chorus continues I am trying to create an emotion of getting more and more lost and not knowing what to do next. Fear/are (consonance rhyme the least resolved, and most tenuous) Lifer/knife (subtractive rhyme)

Hi Lisa Nice little snippet this is so quick writing snippets because you don't have to bother writing a whole song. OK so now ignoring rhyme I am going to do an evaluation just based on a guess of the type of questions I think there will be The verse idea is suitable for an unstable structure: Agree The number of lines adds to the instability: Agree (5 lines odd number = unstable.) The length of the lines supports instability: Somewhat agree ( your line lengths go 7,7,6,8,7) I'd like to see a bit more difference in line lengths. Some could perceive them as being even. You know what your dealing with here. Also you don't have a verse spotlight. Suggestion Long distance friendship is can be so tough I think you want to be here No use falling carelessly in love (this is a set up as it matches line one length the punter will then expect line four to match line two.) My poor heart will surely break, break in two (spotty) or "break into little pieces" ‘Cause a text is not enough Chorus 6 lines stable lengths I am seeing 6,7,10,5,6,10 which is feeling to me like two uneven sets of three lines the odd lengths are not adding to the stability. Suggestion to add stability do line lengths short long short long etc. like this. Go ahead and deny me (7) Go ahead I won’t believe you anyway (10) Go ahead say you don’t care (7) You know it’s ok for you to call me (10) It’s ok if you say you care (7) It’s ok you’re gonna need me everyday (10) Cheers Gary

Hi Lisa I think I might change it because even though this being only assignment two and the rhyme is not supposed to be considered. If people have just watched the rhyme videos they might take it into account. Actually if it's like the last evaluation there were specific questions and there wont be any questions about rhyme so it should be OK. Well spotted! You spatted my spotlight on sad and tired. I am wondering how unstable we can make alyric before it falls in a heap:-) Cheers Gary

Ah So now week three. And I have to say it is starting to get interesting and it's making me wonder several wonderings and if nothing else the experiments I am going to have to do to answer my wonderings will create new works. So now I discover that the type of rhyme you use has an effect on the emotion of the song. Ignoring the words you can create a feeling about the words that is not caused by what the words actually say. Interesting stuff. I also discover it's six times as easy to write songs in italian than it is in english. Now he tells me! Here are my lecture notes for week three. Lesson three Lecture 1 Rhyme schemes Rhyme schemes can be stable or unstable. The most stable would be two equal length rhyming couplets. Rhyming couplets fracture four line sequences into two, two line sequences. Unrelenting rhyming couplets fracture a song and make it drag. Rhyming couplets reduce the hook emphasis to two equal emphasized lines, line two and four. Rather than one emphasised line four if you are using abab Refer to Pat’s parlour same song different journey. http://www.patpattison.com/pparchivedifjourney/ The deceptive cadence technique. Is a hook emphasis technique, it is unstable. Using line length, long line, short line, long line, you lead the listener to think that line four will be a short line rhyming with line two. You make it a long line rhyming with line three. The end of line four is then emphasized. Lecture 2 Rhyme schemes cont: Stable rhyme schemes. Aabb Abab Unstable rhyme schemes Abba ( example; sweet baby James) www.pa Lecture 3 Perfect rhymes There is a scale of rhyme types that goes from most resolved to least resolved. Just as there is a variety of tonic chords that affect the resolution of melody. Root note melody with triad chord root in bass most stable. Examples C Chord with C melody cadence. Most stable to least stable list C Bass G Bass E Bass E Bass ( no C in chord) E Bass ( 7th note in chord B, becomes E minor ) Rhymes Perfect rhyme Vowel sounds the same “Blood/Mud†Consonants after the vowel are the same “Blood/Mud†Rhyming syllables begin differently Perfect rhyme is fully resolved. Lecture 4 Family Rhyme Phonetic relationships. Consonant groups Plosives P T K unvoiced B D G Voiced (partners) Fricatives V Th Z Zh J Voiced F TH S Sh CH Unvoiced (partners) Nasals M N Ng Family rhyme definition Vowed sounds the same “Blood/Mud†Consonants after the vowel if any are phonetically related “ Mud But†Rhyming syllables begin differently Family rhyme is not fully resolved. Functions of rhyme Resolution Acceleration Lecture 5 Additive and Subtractive rhyme Additive rhymes are where sound is added to the rhyming word like. Cry/ ride (voice plosive “d) The least sound you add the more stable the rhyme. Cry/smile is for example less resolved. Additive rhymes are more stable than subtractive. Subtractive rhymes are where something is removed. Eg: Smile/cry Lecture six Assonance rhyme These are always unstable Definition only the vowel sound rhymes the consonant following are unrelated. EG: Life (fricative consonant) Tide (plosive consonant) These will diminish forward motion and diminish resolution. Lecture seven consonance rhyme This is the most unresolved rhyme. Definition the vowel sounds are different the consonant sounds are the same this is the weakest form of rhyme. But is very expressive eg Hasn’t down the wind. The end of the innocence. (defence/innocence) Stability list in order most stable first Perfect Rhyme Family Additive Subtractive Assonance Consonance The rhyme type itself will create emotion in the lyric.

Hi Mahesh There is certainly some eye opening stuff on the forums. I mean when you are used to being critiqued here by the likes of messieurs Creek, Sage, Rudi, Skylark, et al. To come up against such lack of knowledge is a bit of a shock. Still onward and upward this week rhyme. Cheers Gary

I took all the notes because I sort of committed to review the course here so if someone wanted to do it they'd know if it was applicable. I wouldn't be too concerned about loosing creativity. Consider this write a song like you have always done, then go back and edit it according to the tools of Pat. If it makes the song better very good. If not give it the flick. The other thought I have is say you wanted to create that real feeling of not knowing what to do being lost in your song. You can say I know I'l try a consonant rhyme, then say how does that sound feel. So if its tools not rules then I think there is nothing to worry about. Yea well I had to comment on a few of those threads because of the simple minds. I mean you have to worry about the peer reviews you are going to get. Post your assignment to the adjunct thread if you want I'd like to see it. Cheers Gary

I think I will write it when the course is over because at the moment there is stuff to do every week. I guess it might be that I can write this as an assignment further down the track. Cheers Gary

So Now I have just completed Lesson 2 Here are my notes Lecture one: Prosody Prosody is essential to any successful work in any discipline. Everything in the song should belong there and support the song idea. The broad concept of prosody covers stable and unstable concepts. Decide if the feeling is stable or unstable and use the appropriate tools. The reason for using stable or unstable is to assist in making choices as to whether An intuitive idea, you have actually fits with the verse or chorus you are writing. Lecture two: Stable and unstable recognition practice. If it feels like a statement of fact it’s stable. If it feels like there is an unsaid subtext, or something is missing it’s unstable. Lecture three: Introduction to the five elements to create stability and instability in lyrical ideas. They are (1) Number of lines (2) Matched or unmatched line lengths (3) Rhyme scheme (4) Rhyme types (5) Rhythm of lines. Lecture four: Using the number of lines in a section to create stability or instability. An even number of lines tends to feel stable. An odd number of lines tends to feel unstable. The feeling creating can support the lyrical message. Chant lyrics in rhythm tapping with a pencil or use a drum loop. Or a simple musical loop. Lecture Five: Expanding on the effect of number of lines. There are three other effects of the numberer of lines used. (1) Spotlighting important ideas in the song. The balancing position ie: when something is resolved automatically highlights that point. So the idea in the last line of an even number of lines will be emphasised. An unexpected addition of a fifth line to a four line verse structure will spotlight the idea in that line. (2) To stop song motion or move the song forward from one section to another. So typically odd number of lines are used in sections that move onto something else like the pre chorus (3) To create contrast between sections. Lecture Six: The effect of length of lines. Two lines of the same length feel stable. Two lines of unequal length feel unstable. A shorter second line give the lyric forward motion A balance second line stops the motion of the lyric. A longer second line creates a spotlight but no forward motion because the previous line length has been matched, and then we’ve added something. It is the added something that is emphasised. Lecture Seven: Further discussion of line length. Line lengths can be used to create prosody due to being stable or unstable. Line lengths contrast one section to another. Line lengths can be used to move from one section to another. Line lengths can act as a hook emphasis technique. An example of contrast and prosody is Paul Simons 50 Ways to leave your lover. Long verse lines contrast with very short chorus lines. Also prosody is achieved by the fact that the verse lines are long and relaxed. The chorus lines are short and urgent. In other words leave as fast as you can type of feeling.

So Now Assignment Two In this assignment, you will write an unstable verse that moves into a stable chorus. Fellow students will evaluate your assignment based on the criteria below. Use them as a checklist in reviewing your own work. The verse is unstable. The verse’s idea is appropriate for creating an unstable structure. The number of lines and/or the matching and unmatching of line lengths contribute to the verse’s instability. The chorus is stable. The chorus’s idea is appropriate for creating a stable structure. The number of lines and/or the matching and unmatching of line lengths contribute to the chorus’s stability. The verse idea sets up the chorus idea effectively. The chorus’s title is interesting. Important ideas are spotlighted. Using primarily number of lines and line lengths, write an unstable verse that moves into a stable chorus. Of course, since the verse is unstable, what it says should be appropriate to the structure. If you create a spotlight, try to place an important idea there, where it’s most likely to be noticed. You may submit your verse/chorus with or without music. If you choose to put it to music, you may use your own or write to one of the musical loops provided in the Resources area of the class site. Submission https://soundcloud.com/snabbu/assignement-2 Now it’s not Love © Gary Yeomans 2013 In the dying embers of what we had Nothing's happening nothing's new Yesterday you said we're getting kind of Sad and tired Neither one of us can bring ourselves to say It's time we let it slip away. Chorus It's come time for us to leave each other It wasn't meant to be this way No point holding on to one another Now it's not love that makes us stay.

Hi The assignment for lesson one is to start planning a song from a song idea deciding on how the song will be developed through box one two and three. Who what where when and why etc. My assignment appears below. Pick one of the following titles (or use one of your own) and, using the boxes below as a guide, describe how you would develop it (i.e., what would go in Box 1, what would go in Box 2, and what would go in Box 3). The Good Old Days Two Story House Fool’s Gold Home Brew The Other Side of Goodbye "Two Story House" The development engine is point of view. The song is about a marriage that is falling apart. But in the end is saved. Box one contains His story. He runs his own business and spends long days at work. He feels she takes him for granted. He feels unappreciated He lives in a two-story house (a house with two stories, as in tales). Box two contains Her story. She works and looks after two kids, running them to sport ballet etc. She feels he takes her for granted, he never comments on the meals she cooks, he can't even make it to his kids school concert he is always at work she feels he is avoiding his family. She lives in a two-story house (a house with two stories, as in tales). Box three their story: There is a bridging section to show how when they determine that what they once had is worth saving they will try to get it back. And that they are not staying together for their kids they are staying together for each other. They will now fix up their marriage, put in some effort, do some work on it. In the final chorus the title (hook) is twisted to become "They live in a single story house" to signify they have got it back together. Select a point of view that seems appropriate. Answer the questions: Who is talking? To whom? Why? Who is talking? The point of view is direct address. In box one he is talking to her. In box two she is talking to him. In box three they are both talking to each other. They are talking because they know their marriage is failing, they know they once had something good. They think it is worth saving and they make a pact to try again. Describe (without actually writing a lyric or song) when and where this is happening. When: This takes place in the past present and future. The present is how they are feeling now, boxes one and two. The past is referred to in the bridging section in box 3 to support why they will try again, remembering what they once had. The future is in box three. Looking forward to a new life, now that they have decided to work on their marriage. Where: Box one is set in the office of his small business. Boxes two is set in her car. Box three is set in the kitchen of their house.

Ok so I have watched all the lectures for lesson one. I am very up about this; Pat has a great way of getting his point across. This lesson in on lyric writing. There is not a lot in here that I didn't already know. I just didn't know I knew it, because it came from the university of the radio. Also and what's important is work methods I did not know about. Work methods that make it easier to develop ideas. Also a fairly good safety device so you don't get off track. Firstly songs are communication and if the listener is left unsure who is talking to whom and why. The song may not communicate well and may be a lesser write because of that. My lecture notes are below. Lecture one Every song should answer three questions Who is talking? To Whom Why If it doesn’t then it will be less of a song than it could have been. We really should be carrying a small notebook with us every where to jot down ideas, because they come from our environment. An example of this was Pat saw all these two story houses in a row on some development when he was here. So he wrote that down as a song idea. Now he developed that Idea as a house with two floors the upper one containing a painter using the light, the lower floor a musician noodling away in the dark. I immediately had a totally different take on the idea. Like what if the house was like the marital home with a family living it and the couple were drifting apart like one house but two different stories as in tales. I liked that so much I think I may write it. We also discussed in more detail the issue of who is singing the story and who is best to be singing for what songs. There are four possible voices. The work method is you write say one verse and set it in all four voices then make a decision which one is doing the best job for that particular song. (This is something I have never done but will do from now on. Although sometimes the subject matter seems to determine which voice you would use quite obviously. You couldn’t write “Help†in anything other than direct address) The voices in order of intimacy with the most intimate first are: Direct address, 2nd person Narrative, 1st person narrative, 3rd person narrative. My lecture notes appear below with examples of each voice. There was a quiz on this which involved listening to about 8 songs on youtube and the selecting which of the four voices the song was in. Lecture 2 Keep a song ideas book. Establishing who is talking 1 storyteller 3rd person narrative point of view, most objective omnipotent not intimate. "She did this he did that" 2 storyteller 1st person narrative point of view more intimate. "I did this she did that" 3 storyteller 2nd Person narrative more intimate still "You did this she did that" 4 Direct address most intimate "You did this I did that" This next lecture speaks to efficiency in writing because it deals with a way to progress the story in the song. Like don't have all your ideas in the first verse dribble them out verse by verse. Pat does this with three boxes and whatever the song idea is he uses a method to develop it. So that the information becomes clearer, and the song idea more reinforced as it progresses. Like the lyric is going somewhere to a climax. So that when it is set to music and the music goes somewhere, and the production goes somewhere. We all go there together and that is a very good thing. The two development techniques he discussed were to use a time line; like this happened in the past, this is happening now, and then this will happen in the future. The other technique was to explain the story from three different perspectives. So we talk about me, we talk about her, then we talk about us. I am sure there must be more methods than these, and I will spend some time thinking about them to see if that's true, maybe that's all there is. I will let you know when I come to a conclusion. What is important to grasp here is this song development method of three boxes; the beginning the middle and the end, or you I and us, bears no relation to the song structure. It is not like three verses one for each subject. The me could be two verses, the her could be the third verse, and the us could be the bridge. The most valuable thing for me in this lecture was; I have my idea, I have decided on a way to develop the idea, and I have written it down in three boxes. I can now let my mind wander all over the place in regard to how I work up the three boxes. I won't get lost, or confused, or distracted from the main song idea. Because I am inside box number one, and I always know what I should be doing in there. The same goes for box two or three. Pat tongue in cheek calls this thinking inside the box. Only dumb suits in the city think outside the box :-) So if we look at my interpretation of Pat's two stories song idea; I have decided that I will use perspective technique. Box one His story; Box two her story; Box three their story. (note I have written that in third person narrative but this hasn't been decided yet. Because as I work it up it may change to work better as very personal. Like My story your story our story. Which would be direct address, the most intimate. And that will depend on hook ideas etc. The point is I know all this and I have yet to write a word. Normally I wouldn't know any of this until after the words were written. This is a major difference. My Lecture notes appear below. Lecture 3 Song development song ideas should develop and move forward. Development engine, (1) Timeline method past, present, future (2) Perspective method You I us So now we are looking at developing the ideas within the boxes. So to do this you work up your idea addressing some or all or most of the following questions. Who is talking and whom are they talking too. What are they saying, and why are they saying what they are saying. When did this happen, where did it happen and how? So I guess depending on the development technique you are using; timeline, or perspective. Some of what you work up in each box is going to be pretty obvious. If you are doing timeline when would obviously be in box one. This is interesting so you have this story when did it happen? in the summer, in the spring, in the morning, in the night, 3am in the morning or what? So it starts to generate ideas. Because if my "house of two stories" ( see the change from with to of . A more developed hook idea.) If this happened at 3 am it probably happened in the bedroom, and it was probably a blazing row over the differences detailed in the two peoples stories. If it happened at some other time then it may have just been a drifting apart. So see how you sit there and work up this whole story in your head, about who these people are, then you distill that story down to a few lines. To me I am imagining like a sauce in a pot on the stove, like gravy and it's watery. But I keep cooking it, driving of the steam to get to its essence. In the end I have a very strong flavor. I think this could happen with a song as you distill this entire story down to verses and bridges. So you end up with a super strong lyric. I hope this is right. Because making up all of these stories or aspects and not really worrying about rhyme or form is quite liberating and a lot of fun. Consider this before you even bother to write a line you can sit down with your partner and tell her the song story in great detail with the chorus idea interspersed. Between each of your three parts. Is it interesting did the story grab her could it be more interesting if something else happened that you have not thought of. Does she care about the people in the story? If the answers no then you could save hours by not writing this and working on something else. Lecture 4 Developing the song ideas within the development engine. In each stage Who What When Where Why How Who when where are the most powerful The next topic discussed was song form. This I know already in greater detail that was discussed in the course. What the parts of the song are and what they are supposed to do what a chorus is and what it isn’t. What bridges do etc. There was no discussion of other song forms other than verse pre chorus and bridge. ( like AB form example “ (somewhere over the rainbowâ€)Also the function of the bridge was not described in the detail as I would understand it’s multiple functions. It was described simply as a bridge between two other parts of the song. There was no discussion about using bridges as a reveal or that they should add to or clarify the story. I didn’t make lecture notes for this one because; this is already second nature to me. The verses tell the detailed story of the song; the chorus sums up the story, and must of course work with each aspect of the story. Or it answers questions posed in the verse. The bridge adds an extra dimension to the story or reveals something about the story that was hidden up until then. The last lecture was about choruses. Pat spoke for about twelve minutes about hook emphasis without once using the term but that was what it was about. The chorus must have the best lyrical and musical ideas and you don’t allow these ideas to be used elsewhere in the song. He used the analogy of a bride and the bride’s mother buying wedding dresses. Trying them all on till they found one that really made the bride look fabulous. Then the bride’s mother selects the plainest dowdiest bridesmaid dresses to dress the attendants in. So at the wedding the bride already looks fabulous but is made to look all the more fabulous in comparison to the bridesmaids who look plain. The chorus is the bride the verses are the bridesmaids and although he didn’t actually use the term, the fabulous dress is the hook and the hook emphasis. All of this I knew already but it was nice to have it confirmed. And to have it explained in a parable I now have that image in my head, of the parts of a song, and where the bling should go. I can think of it as choosing a diamond tiara and whacking on the bride’s head. So that is good. Something else that came up in one of the lectures was to do with music production that there is such a thing called a production graph used by producers to map out the peaks and climaxes in a song. I looked on the net to see if I could find a link that would explain this chart and I couldn’t so basically as I understand it. The production starts out simple and builds towards the chorus, the chorus then is more intense. Then the intensity drops back down for verse two but not down to the level of verse one. Then builds up to the second chorus, which is more intense than the first. Then the bridge, that is more intense than all that has come before. Then the final chorus, where they throw the kitchen sink at it. So that was interesting. I critiqued a song by studiobee yesterday and I knew there was a production issue but I wasn’t able to explain it very well now I know exactly what the issue is. He threw the kitchen sink in verse one and just kept going at a manic level all the way through so there was shit loads going on but it still didn’t go anywhere because there was nowhere left to go. In conclusion my first impressions of the course are positive and my impression of the lecturer is very positive. Cheers Gary

I think melody and lyrics but I also think he uses loops to quickly work up ideas. The course is song writing so I guess arrangement and demo production wont come into that. Cheers Gary

Yea it's a bit far to commute New England NSW to New England USA Starts on saturday so we shall see if he can make me more efficient. Cheers Gary

I have decided to do a six week course with the Berkley School of Music. The lecturer is Pat Patterson. I start Saturday I think. He promises to make me more efficient. So we shall see. Anybody interested I'l post updates to this thread. Cheers Gary Wrap up So now the course is over. The overall impression is its avery worthwhile thing to do. The only thing about the course is the peer review system which worries me. And I'm not saying that because of crook results in my last assignment I got 92% from my peers but I was still dismayed by one comment. It's like pedantic stuff. I find it frustrating to be lectured in english by someone on diphthongs in regard to my rhyme scheme. I had a word I wanted to use and I didn't want a perfect rhyme just wanted to rhyme the vowels, and yes I know the vowel sounds for real and teach are slightly different but it is what I wanted to say and they are close enough for me. The misunderstanding of the use of phrasing for contrast, in my chorus continued the annoyance. Front and back heavy phrasing is used for prosody sad or longing or uncertain lines have a back heavy phasing to create prosody. ( that is you start the first accented line on a weak beat instead of a strong beat.) Positive or stable lines are front heavy. The first stressed word on beat one. I had used Front heavy on "It's all in the way you fall" and back heavy on "All in the way you fall" His comment was they are saying the same thing so why the different phrasing. The chorus lyric follows. the (f) means I am phrasing it front heavy. The ( means I am phrasing it back heavy. It’s all (f) It’s all (f) It’s all in the way you fall (f) All in the way you fall ( Two things: all of the "It's all" are front heavy, it's a statement of fact I want the listener to believe. For this reason "It's all in the way you fall" also has to be front heavy. All in the way you fall is back heavy for contrast to make the hook stick out, and to create a nagging sense of doubt that I know that even though you believe me you are still hurting. Now when you take so much trouble to write this deep and someone comes along and says this. (see peer 5) It makes you shake your head. peer 1 → Very nice song. All the best in everything you do, and don't forget to Write Fearlessly. peer 3 → Good result which should spur you on to writing more and more when course finishes. Nice to review a colleague who can actually sing and sing in tune with excellent character in voice (important even though it was not the assignment objective) peer 4 → I think the front and back heavy lines are mislabeled, but I like the song very much, especially the bridge and chorus. Guy has a really good voice. The harmony an unexpected surprise. peer 5 → Don't understand why you'd make "it's all in the way you fall" a front-heavy line, but "all in the way you fall" a back-heavy? The essence is the same. Also, noticed some rhyme scheme discrepancies: abbac in the first verse and abbcd in the second. "Deep" and "real" have different diphthongs, but "deal" and "real" or "deep" and "reap" share same diphthongs. Otherwise, a great sound production! Really enjoy listening to it. But apart from the pedantic peer issue I found it to be a great experience it is free and I highly recommend it. Here is my last assignment which I am currently working up a proper recording of. I am still not sure if it's mad that much difference to my writing but it was very interesting. All in the way you fall © Gary Yeomans 2013 http://snd.sc/15NMP8K Verse It lays me low to see you weep ( I can recall when to hold you could fix anything (f) From a scraped knee to bogyman dreaming (f) I know it’s not the time for lessons to keep, ( or making a speech(f) But there’s something I want you to know (f) chorus. It’s all (f) It’s all (f) It’s all in the way you fall (f) All in the way you fall ( Verse Now love has come and cut you deep ( I know that words at this time cannot heal everything ( It’s all right crawling fallings hard going (f) You know that your life with lessons to teach, is sharing what’s real ( And there’s something it wants you to know (f) chorus. It’s all (f) It’s all (f) It’s all in the way you fall (f) All in the way you fall ( Bridge Never stop taking chances (f) Don’t let this stop you making plans (f) Never start building fences (f) Don’t let this chain or tie your hands (f) chorus. It’s all (f) It’s all (f) It’s all in the way you fall (f) All in the way you fall ( Cheers Gary

Hi Anthony I would add this. Because there is a lot going on lyrically in the verses melodically it needs to be reasonably linear. If the verse asks questions the chorus should answer them even if the answer is blowing in the wind. Verse melodies need to be more melodic than linear verse melodies therefore the lyrics in the chorus must be simple or repetitive. Have something going on all the time but not everything going on at once. Hooks can not sit as an island unto themselves they need to be set up and emphasised. A song should contain as many hooks as you can think of. Melodic, lyric, instrumental and production. If you want a master class in hook management you really can't go past ABBA. The bridge is an important part of a song it is your opportunity to write a second chorus, not just some fill in piece. Sometimes lyrically it is the reveal. That is you set up a story in the verses and choruses preceeding the bridge which appears to be one thing but the bridge reveals that it is something else altogether. Example "my girl bill" Musically the pre chorus or lift should create tension which is released by the commencement of the chorus. The absolute master of the lift is Neal Diamond. Reference "I am I said" the lift in this just goes on for ever. Also cheap trick " if you want my love you've got it" These two songs are an essential study in lift writing. Cheers Gary

We will keep you posted Anthony. Also couldn't download your booklet on my iPad I'l try on my MacBook later. Cheers Gary

That's cool Rick and I will be up to our necks in " better days" for a week or so so that will work well. You will be surprised at your melodies once you know how, believe me. Cheers Gary

Hi Anthony That sounds like a goer to me, it's like a cliff hanger in a soap opera so you watch again next week. I've stuck it in my list of things to try. A technique I am fiddling with at the moment has to do with chord structure. The idea is you start with less frequent chord changes and have more as the song progresses. So line one and two of the verse might be a single chord. Line three may have two Line four four chords. The idea is it creates a sence of the verse rushing towards te chorus. So it will be interesting to see what happens. Cheers Gary

Hi Sam It is actually not all that hard or complicated. If you have a Daw And half a brain I can teach you how to do it in about two weeks. Without ear training. Music is actually a proscribed mathematical thing, if you can get your head around Math, you will pick up music writing easily, if not you'll find it a little more difficult. But still achievable. Think about it. There are only so many notes, how hard can it really be. The tools you need are a sequencer, a key board, and some reference material, which I can show you where to get. That I guess and a bit of dedication and a reasonable work ethic. It's a process. Starts with a plan the plan is generated from the lyrics. That tells you the rythem, where the stresses should be where the tension and release should be where the cadences should be. What is the prosody of the lyric, like sad happy up beat or what, that tells us the mode we need to be in. For example if it's sad we can choose to write it in a minor key, or we can use a major key but choose a mode that makes it sound as it is written in a minor key. So before we even touch the keyboard we know where we are going. We have seven notes to choose from in the basic skeleton, we may add notes not from our chosen key if it improves the melody. It is even simpler than that because we also know at this point that the half cadenced will most probably be the third of the key and the full cadences will be the root of the key. So if we are in D we actually know we have to get to F# our half cadence by a certain point in the song usually the end of line two. As we have to be on D for the end of the last line of the verse. We also know we need to start whith a note of the triad so we have three notes to choose from as a starting point. This establishes the key in the listeners mind the earlier you do this the quicker they can grasp the reference point. The more accessible your tunes will be. The other thing we know is that melody moves in a proscribed way. That is in verses melodies are linear. That is there are no big leaps up and down it moves by smaller steps. This is because there is a lot going on in the lyrics. In the chorus if we have been paying attention to our lyric writing there will be less words and there is not that much need for the listener to be paying attention to the lyric because we are only summing up what we have said in the chorus. So here the melody can have leaps and jump around a bit. So in the verse we might only use three or four notes. It gets easier by the minute. The last thing to do before actually writing the lead line is to decide how many motives we need and where they are going. Let's say for example it a fairly basic song we will have three motives. One for the verse, one for the chorus one for the bridge. A motive is usually only one or two bars long. Let's make it easy and make them one bar long. So for the verse you now have to noodle around starting on a note of the triad and not leaping about all over the place keeping it linear. Untill you have one bar of notes that you think is cute. The rest of the entire verse melody is a combination of repeats and variations of this single bar of music. What is more If your first motive does not end on the root or third note then we already know what two of the variations are because when we hit the half cadence it will end on the third note, so variation one wrote itself, the last note of the verse is the full cadence the root of the key so variation two has also written itself. All you have to do then is fill in the gaps. Then on too the next motive. Writing like this is very efficient because if you are inspired you can write all three motives in one sitting, the next day if you are not you can develope your motives using variations so you don't need to be creative on that day because you are just trying out three or four possible variations and choosing the one that works the best. Now there are variations and complications to everything, every thing I have said here can be varied, changed or generally disagreed with by any musician, however this is like kindergarten, this is ABC, once you have learned to create melody then you can start wondering about this and that and trying out new things. Like what happens if I don't begin with a a note of the chord? What happens if I don't use the third for my half cadence. When you do do sometimes something beautiful will happen other times it will sound crap. But you will know what to do if it does, that is revert to a sure thing. I am quite happy to puppy walk you through the process as long as you are prepared to put in the work. As you probably know from my lyric critiques I find slackness and sloppy work a bit irritating. Cheers Gary

I do it all ways and it depends on the circumstances. If I have to write something as a job of work to a deadline I will probably write lyrics first, then the melody line, then the chord structure. I think because I can say well I'm half done or 3 quarters done or whatever. Sometimes I will write melody and chord structure together usually on the guitar, but ths is rare. The instant method is the easiest when it all comes out at once but that is hard to do too a deadline. For me anyway. Although it happens sometimes. When I've forgotten the writing process it's pretty hard for me to tell the results of one method or another. So all methods are valid I guess. Cheers Gary

Hi Tom I think there is some merit in this. The reason being there are several aspects here to a work. There is the song itself. There is the arrangement of the song. There is the performance of the work and then the production. So in your seeking improvement section. Which I call "work tapes" which I guess shows my 4 trac roots. The old Tascam four track cassette sound on sound and fussy tapes. Any way whatever you call it. The comments should be confined to the underlying work. Issues of Prosody, melody, meter rhythem, structure, rhyme, cadence etc. Reviewers should completely ignore current performance and production, but can make suggestions about how it might be improved by performance, production arrangement. Then in the completed works section the song can be reviewed in it's entirety as a package. Without making too much work for admin I agree if the look at me lot can be excluded then fine, if not, we can see there is no contribution history from that member and not bother to look. If I am following a work and it's going over to finished works. Then I know what it is and will go and listen. I am not likely to listen to a work I don't recognize because it hasn't been through the process. So if it is too hard for admin it doesn't matter to me. I am only listening to work I have watched grow to see what happens. I also think that at the work tape stage it gives an opportunity for members to invite others to play on each others songs through file sharing. Once the writing is the best it can be. I mean you get some people who are great guitarists but can't hold a note in a bucket. So they end up with over processed vocals trying to get a sound and the quality of work suffers. In regard to files. I really like to have access to Mp3 because I can down load it to lost of devices and sort of have it playing a few times so Imcannget familiar with it. If it's a streaming file I have to be on the net to listen and it's less convenient. Cheers Gary

Hi John Given that it can take me an hour to do a critique. In the following cases I ignore posts. Posters who have had reviews on previous songs and have not taken those critiques on board in the current work. I play a song for 30 seconds and if there is nothing there in that 30 seconds I move on. Posters who have no clue as to melody or song construction. Genres which leave me cold like rap whith a capital "C" If I have nothing to say that has not already been said by others. I care not for the commercial merit of the work if the poster makes it clear they don't either. So I am more likely to critique if the poster says what it is they are trying to achieve. For example I would happily critique a lullaby written to be sung to someone's baby if the poster had said that's what it is. Other wise I have to have my own view and that view point may not be correct. I am more likely to put effort in to someone who is improving. I feel the constant one line nice " tune man" (when it patently isn't)critiques worst than useless. It kind of gets like the equivalent of mutual back scratching or worse. I say exactly what I think when I critique, there really is no point in guiding the Lilly. Because if something is good it is, If it is not then improvements should be made. Also it is only my opinion anyway, and if an artist or writer can't take rejection, then he needs to take up macramé or something. I really try to seperate the song critique from the production performance side of things. Cheers Gary

Hi John Good question. And the answer is different depending on the circumstances and how the song is written. If it's written music first, the prosody and the sound of the lyric like alliteration etc is probably more important than the actual meaning or story. I it's written lyric first it's a much more straight jacket process. more orderly. And if it fails at any of the steps it gets shelved. There must be a good song idea or it stops there. Then a hook needs to be thought up to express the song idea. Then the lyric should have a beginning middle and end a read well, with rhythm. Then there must be a tune that is good enough to carry the lyric. If all this is there, then the song can proceed to polishing if any of these is not happening then I sort of loose the will to go on with it. None of these ideas have to be particularly profound or fabulous but they have to be there and be OK, good enough to want to go on with the project. Cheers Gary

Hi Kayla Do not lay down a chord sequence to sing your lyrics over before you have written a melody. This will only result in boring cookie cutter dross. The sequence is. Song idea Song hook Lyrics Rhythm and cadence Melody Harmony instrumental solos, lick and hooks. Because I play an instrument I now write melody directly into a sequencer. That is I don't use an instrument to write the melody. Because if you do a sameness creeps in. When you are adding the harmony which, note is the second last step in the process you could use the circle of 5ths and harmonize the melody simply in major or minor depending on the lyrical feel. However there will come a time when you need to understand harmonic emphasis. That is waking your listener up just prior to delivering the hook or the pay off or something you don't want missed. You do this by stepping outside your sequence and borrowing a chord from another key and then resolving back to the sequence and the home base chord. Now there are only certain chords that can be borrowed and there are other chords which need to follow to get back to your key. And you have to do this quickly or you'll loose your listener. I have attached a chord map in the key of C. The blue chord are of the key. The green chords are borrowed from other keys. You begin ( usually) at the home base the square blue box C Jump anywhere on the map and follow the arrows back to C So I can have a sequence of say C, C6, Cm6, G/d, D, D7, G, G sus 4, C If you were using the circle of 5ths this same melody would be harmonized C, G, Am, Dm, G ,C this may sound fine but then again it may sound boring so the point is you have to know your options. Now as to approaching this. Chant the lyrics with no instrument tap the rhythm with a pencil. Keep doing this until the rhythm of the thing is set in stone. Create a single note tune to that rhythm record this into a sequencer. Note melodies are repetitive. Normally the verse will have only two ideas and the chorus one. The rest of the melody is repetition with variation. There are rules as to musical punctuation which you need to apply to your melody. So you need to look up and read about cadences etc. When you have written a single note melody that you like. Hit the notation button on your sequencer, count the number of sharps or flats in the key signature, refer to a key reference now you know what key it's in. Get the map for this key and begin to harmonize by trial and error following the map. Try everything save different versions. Be aware that different chord sequences give different vocal harmony opportunities in different places. So that may affect your choices. Like we want harmony opportunities in the chorus. Gaga example Poker Face Is in Abm and has four chords Abm ,E,B,F# The melody has been written by chanting and tapping as described above. It relies on a rhythmic hook, the verse melody is very linear this serves to emphasize the choruses when it comes which is more melodic and very catchy. These are all standard pop music techniques and are not exclusive to Gaga. What makes this work is she has showcased the chorus melody by making the verse melodies almost non existent. It is a very polished musical work with average lyrics, she's had an idea but has not maintained her focus getting distracted and drifting into soft porn. Cheers Gary The Big Map.pdf