Bethany

Looks like I'm spending this week's pay on vet bills. Love it.

Blake Shelton, Miranda Lambert, AND Carrie Underwood?! Could this year get any better? It is not likely.

My new sounds: Colour Me Perfect http://t.co/IpBcR6GR on #SoundCloud

Chameleon, pick a f*cking colour.

My nephew just spat Mini Wheats in my face. This must be what unconditional love is.

Jim Dale should narrate everything.

Enter to win an autographed #HellOnHeels Vinyl+Turntable from @PistolAnnies. Vinyl avail. #RecordStoreDay 4/21 http://t.co/eOaoqR8U

Hey @Miranda_Lambert, gonna smother you with admiration this September! Please try not to grimace during our photo-op after I pee my pants.

Can't you just imagine Thor introducing Loki as his brother and Loki being like, "I was adopted. No blood relation…"

Harry Potter trivia all f*cken night!

Justice.

My aunt sent me a parcel filled with Hunger Games paraphernalia and digestive cookies. She just gets me, ya know?

"He sneaked up behind me and tailgated me!"

Singing Thumbelina! Dancing Thumbelina! Something Thumbelina!

Dude just told me that he works at a slaughter house. Everything suddenly makes so much sense.

Can I hire someone to make decisions for me? Is that a thing?

My new sounds: In Two http://t.co/3YyystdW on #SoundCloud

At what point does one decide that Jerry Springer is the answer? Where do these people come from?

THAT IS MAHOGANY.

Everything in my bathroom has been put in an irregular place. Is this the work of a very playful/docile ghost?

HUNGER GAMES GAMES GAMES GAMES GAMES GAMES GAMES GAMES.

Cereal will always be my first love.

Mother Earth is dying, whenever it rains it means that beautiful bitch is crying.

Trolling when I should be anthropology-ing. http://t.co/w1ZryI4w