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Writing A Song, Need Opinions

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  • Noob

Ok, so I'm writing a song for the girl that I love :)

I just wanna know what do you think about how this line sounds because it really goes with the melody... but it sounds a little weird to me... grammatically.

"Only we can make our wishes become the truth".

Now I know you would usually say "Make a wish come true"...

What do you think? Is this wrong?

Thanks in advance :)

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sounds fine as a single line :)

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"wish come true" too much of a cliche. Keep it as it was - it's great!

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They say that the essence of poetry is to say something that has been said a hundred times before, in a way that no one has said it before.

What "tickles the ear" is, "a turn of a phrase." Right now, "you've found one." You caught the interest of a lot of people. That's where it's at.

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