I Have A Question

[slash7]

Hi everybody

Could you tell me whether there are mistakes with these lines or not?

 

 

1.there is much to say and much more to be done

 

 

2. we have a chance at love...a moment to break some rules

[MonoStone]

Are you asking about the English? It reads fine to me.

 

.... assuming you want the lines to mean what they say.... they seem clear enough.

[slash7]

Yes I mean English

somebody told me to write: "much more to do" instead of "much more to be done" and a "chance to love instead of "a chance at love"

So I decided to ask it here

 

Thank you

Edited September 9, 2013 by slash7

[MonoStone]

I see....

It would also be correct the way the other person suggested.

It depends on what tone you want. The way you have it currently isn't really how the average person speaks English...but it is fine and I think feels more poetic. It would definitely sound too old or flowery if you're writing a pop song for a new boy band...... I don't know enough about your song to say whether your choice of words is good or bad.

Edited September 9, 2013 by MonoStone

[slash7]

Thanks again man

Its genre is Electronic Dance Music. So I think as you said it's a little bit too old for that. I have to change it

Just could u plz tell me which one makes it old?

"much more to be done" or "a chance at love"