#20 Papa & The Sky

[Rudi]

 

Papa and the Sky

 

V1

Marching to a prayer in the desert sun

Following the fault line

I hold the trust of everyone

Leading the trusting children towards a Castle in Spain

Leading the trusting children to a castle in the rain

 

V2

And the lord he knows me for a fool 

Knows me through & through

And the lord he knows me for a fool

And it’s just as well he knows me better than I think I do

Its just as well he knows me, ‘cause I just do what papa’d do

 

Chorus 1

And the sky will provide

And the sky will provide

If you don't hear without, listen to whats inside

Wheels will collide

Needs must and will provide

 

V3

Papa left us early last spring

It fell to me to be wise

And now I should know everything

Feeding the trusting children in sunshine ‘til the fall

Feeding the trusting children. Papa has to know it all 

 

Chorus 2

And the sky will provide

And the sky will provide

If you don't hear without, listen to whats inside

If you are empty, quit the sham and move aside

 

RZS aka Unwise Bill © 28-11-2013

RZS aka Unwise Bill © 25-11-2013 previously posted version

 

 

Chorus was half written and read from a sheet when recording. I'm not entirely sure what I sang, but both chorus were different, and so I've tried to listen back to the recording and write what I think I sang (BTW, this sort of thing is quite normal for me).

Edited November 28, 2013 by Rudi

[jamestoffee]

Hi Rudi,

 

I like the overall concept.  I could see it fitting your artist's style

 

Comments to take or toss......

 

Papa and the Sky

 

V1

Marching to a prayer in the desert sun.....nice

Following the fault line .....nice

I hold the trust of everyone ok....using trust in 3 lines in a row seems a bit much but could work...maybe FATE

Leading the trusting children towards a Castle in Spain

Leading the trusting children to a castle [in the rain ...where it rains]

 

V2

And the lord he knows me for a fool  ....Lord seems out of place with the main vocabulary of Papa....maybe Great Spirit, Mother Earth, Sun God

Knows me through & through

And the lord he knows me for a fool

And it’s just as well he knows me better than I think I do

Its just as well he knows me, ‘cause I just do what papa’d do ....confusing is the singer papa or not?

 

Chorus

And the sky shall provide

And the sky shall provide

The children will abide

Take heart, the trusting children will abide

And if papa’s voice is stilled inside

Have the sense to quit and move aside

And the sky will provide

 

.....maybe simplify the chorus and get the title as a hook like this......

 

Papa and the sky

Papa and the sky

Take heart, the trusting children

Papa is our/your guide

 

Papa and the sky

Papa and the sky

Take heart, the trusting children

The sky shall provide

 

V3

Papa left us early last spring ....Papa journeyed/went ahead to the sky last spring

It fell to me to be wise

And now I should know everything ....everything could be replaced with a cultural concrete object or reference

Feeding the trusting children in sunshine ‘til the fall

Feeding the trusting children.BECAUSE A  Papa has to know it all 

 

-James

[Rudi]

Hi James,

 

Thank you for your assessment. I’m grateful.

 

Is it that predictable? Damn! It wasn’t supposed to be my style at all. It’s not a song for me. It’s a song for David.

 

David is a Christian. So ‘Lord’ or ‘Father’ are how he might want to measure or express this lack of confidence. I only changed the lines from ‘The Lord will provide’ to ‘the Sky will provide’, because sky covers both bases; mystic and physical. The sky gives life literally, as sky gods give life figuratively.

 

The lines were something like

‘The wise man died and the job fell to me’ 

 

Papa is the ‘wise man’. He is the head of an extended family, not a nuclear one.

Hence ‘It fell to me to be wise’ following the death of the previous wise man; the real wise man in the mind of the singer.

 

I did consider using the name Moses, as in ‘Papa Moses’, but thought invoking the 7 tribes of Israel was going a bit far!

 

‘Trust’ may be overplayed but the nearest match is ‘Hope’, and that doesn’t quite work. Nor does ‘Care, Faith or Charge’.

‘Fate’ is a word used by people who don’t know what to think and have given up trying (IMO).  The tale teller here is simple, but still a thinking person. Trust will have to do.

 

Other song titles considered were ‘Leading the Trusting Children’ and ‘The Sky Will Provide’.

 

 

Having said all that I may use your final suggestion if I can fit all the sylables in when singing.

 

 

atb mate

[jamestoffee]

Hi Rudi

 

>‘The Lord will provide’ to ‘the Sky will provide’, because sky covers both bases; mystic and physical. The sky gives life literally, as sky gods give life figuratively.

 

Your friend might be a bit resistant to this aspect.  Christianity makes a big deal about separating worshiping the creation and worshiping the Creator.  That was one significant difference between the Israelites (the people Moses led out of Egypt) and the other nations at that time who did worship elements of creation and fashioned hand-made idols.

 

>Leading the trusting children towards a Castle in Spain

 

Also, Spain wasn't the location of the promise land; which again might be a sticking point if it's a Christian song.  However, there are other songs with spiritual hints that aren't Christian, so maybe it will pan out in that direction.

 

 

-James

[Rudi]

>‘The Lord will provide’ to ‘the Sky will provide’, because sky covers both bases; mystic and physical. The sky gives life literally, as sky gods give life figuratively.

 

Your friend might be a bit resistant to this aspect. Christianity makes a big deal about separating worshiping the creation and worshiping the Creator.

 

 

I don’t know David. He is my favourite artist, but not a personal friend.

 

The ‘sky’ is what works for the song. It’s not a Christian song. It’s a song sung from the point of view of a Christian by another Christian who is David Hidalgo, imagined by myself. There is a fundamental difference between point of view and function in this instance.

 

 

That was one significant difference between the Israelites (the people Moses led out of Egypt) and the other nations at that time who did worship elements of creation and fashioned hand-made idols.

 

 

 

The Israelites did their share of graven image worshiping when not kept in check by Moses. But this digression is not relevant to function under scrutiny here.  

 

>Leading the trusting children towards a Castle in Spain

 

Also, Spain wasn't the location of the promise land; which again might be a sticking point if it's a Christian song.

 

 

 

You miss the point unerringly.

The ‘Castle in Spain’ is a metaphor: As shown by this thesaurus description.

 

Noun

1.

castle in Spain - absentminded dreaming while awake

air castle, castle in the air, daydream, daydreaming, oneirism, reverie, revery

dreaming, dream - imaginative thoughts indulged in while awake; "he lives in a dream that has nothing to do with reality"

 

The Spanish Castle is a mirage. A fool’s errand.

[jamestoffee]

>You miss the point unerringly.

The ‘Castle in Spain’ is a metaphor: As shown by this thesaurus description.

 

Yes, I think I am off on the interpretation of this one.  I suppose it's easy to confuse the figurative and literal when introducing aspects of spirituality, but kudos for having a clear idea for your intentions....that's all part of critiquing....did you say this and mean this? .....so being able to say how and why you made the choices you did works for me

[Rudi]

Yes but the intention is to communicate. I obviously am not doing a good enough job despite satisfying my own criteria.

 

It happens a lot James. Now & again I need a bit of a kick. So thank you.

[Rudi]

 

RZS aka Unwise Bill © 28-11-2013

 

Music and amended lyric edited into OP.

[jamestoffee]

Rudi,

 

Nice groove.  I like the intro riff and guitar soloing a lot.  For me, the lyrics and message get lost a bit with the arrangement, but I think you got in the Los Lobos vein.

 

 

The next comment is really personal preference, so ignore if it doesn't pop a blip on your radar.  For me, the focus is slightly off.  Cool title, cool groove but the music seems like a great group song....everyone join in sing-a-long....a road trip song.  However, the lyrics are introspective, suited more for an individual working through, or coming to grips with leadership skills......so the words and music are telling the same story, but aren't on the same page as far as parts of the story....take or toss as you see fit. 

 

I enjoyed the listen!

 

-James

[Rudi]

Hi James, 

 

I think you got in the Los Lobos vein.

 

 

Lobos are the most eclectic artists I know. I had lots of scope but little to focus on. I choose ‘refugee’ lyrics,  a Latin rhythm, a Spanish guitar for rhythm & fill, and a melodic style that I associate with David (though my vocal range is far more limited).

 

Although the riff was integral, I not sure it fitted properly in the end. As with the rest of it, it was the best I could manage within the timescale. I usually take 2 or 3 months on a song. I was going for a violin solo exit, but time was against me (I’m a poor violinist). That’s why the ending is ‘empty’.

 

but the music seems like a great group song....everyone join in sing-a-long....a road trip song.

 

 

I would never have thought of that. The chorus hook is what you must mean.

 

A song about refugees or illegal immigrants in the Arizona desert is not the stuff usually associated with coach outing sing songs. I wasn’t exactly thinking of ‘The Day We Went to Bangor’ when writing (I do like that BTW)

 

James, you have been like a terrier with a bone on this. I really am most grateful to you.

You made me question what I was doing, think outside my comfort zone and surprise me with your insight. Thank you.

[jamestoffee]

Quote

but the music seems like a great group song....everyone join in sing-a-long....a road trip song.

 

 

I would never have thought of that. The chorus hook is what you must mean

 

No, it's the basic groove.  The first thing I started thinking of was "Send me on my way" by  Rusted Root not that your song sounds like it per se; just the idea of having good groove to it.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuV2agQPgps

 

 

>A song about refugees or illegal immigrants in the Arizona desert is not the stuff usually associated with coach outing sing songs.

 

Well, we've all got to do something to keep our spirits up on those long road trips

 

...another idea with that groove could be a "call and respond" style.....something like this

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgMkLxKJdg0

 

 

 

 

 

James, you have been like a terrier with a bone on this. I really am most grateful to you.

You made me question what I was doing, think outside my comfort zone and surprise me with your insight. Thank you.

 

 

Thanks, Rudi.   

[Rudi]

Rusted Root are one of my favourite bands! 

[goldylocks]

Rudi, I love your musical arrangement! I wish I could hear your lyrics more clearly. The music drowns it out! I know nothing about arranging music, but I know what I like, and I like your song! it's energetic and I love the rhythm and Spanish flair!

 

Ole'

 

Goldy       

[Rudi]

Hi Goldy,

 

I try to keep my vocal down in the mix. I cringe when I hear it.

 

Thanks for the complement for the arrangement.