The Ballerina

[Janeva]

Although my childhood wish for ballet lessons was never answered, ballet and anything to do with ballet has been a lifelong love and fascination for me.

 

I wrote this today.

 

Any critique welcome.

 

Jan  

 

     

The Ballerina

 

With skin as translucent as butterfly wings

Awaiting her turn while the fat lady sings

Delicately poised as her silk shoes she ties

Face white as flour with falsely lashed eyes   

 

The orchestra signals her entry on stage

She flies in the air like a white dove uncaged

As light as meringue on a Pavlova cake

The audience gasps as she makes a mistake

 

She falls to the stage with her ribbons in tangles

Her limbs now all bent at impossible angles

The curtains are closed as they rush to her aid

A posy of flowers is thrown where she laid

 

© J Hutchinson  2014

[MPerry]

Hi Jan

 

I am so used to reading your song lyrics, (which are always quite good, by the way!) this is quite the departure for you?...yet you succeed in painting a picture of the ballerina, I am captivated with your choice of words...and wonder why you made her fail?...it feels like a Raymond Carver story?..have you ever read Raymond Carver? he is brilliant in writing short succinct stories and never giving us a happy ending, just the facts of life (never being pretty, we will always fail at one time or another)....anyways I enjoyed what you wrote immensely!!...regards Mike

[Janeva]

Hi Mike

 

Thanks for reading this through and for your kind comments - they are much appreciated. 

 

No, I haven't read Raymond Carver, I will check him out.

 

I went to a performance of the English National Ballet last year and they used some understudies for the performance due to injuries - I suppose that made me think about that. 

 

I haven't actually written any poetry as such for many years but I've decided to give it a try again now. 

 

Thanks, again.

 

Jan

[Kayleigh1998]

I didn't expect that ending that's for sure, but I am impressed with poem Your words are captivating and made me feel like I was the ballerina who was destined to fail. (Maybe it was because just like you, I have always wanted lessons haha.) But, I do have the same question as the poster above, why did you chose for the ballerina to fail in the first place? I hope you don't mind me asking out of curiosity...

[Gwyneth]

Beautifully penned with rich imagery. Love it!!

[Janeva]

I didn't expect that ending that's for sure, but I am impressed with poem Your words are captivating and made me feel like I was the ballerina who was destined to fail. (Maybe it was because just like you, I have always wanted lessons haha.) But, I do have the same question as the poster above, why did you chose for the ballerina to fail in the first place? I hope you don't mind me asking out of curiosity...

 

Hi Kayleigh

 

Thanks for your kind comments.  I suppose it was awareness of the incredible strength yet vulnerability of a dancer which prompted me to write this. When I went to see the English National Ballet perform 'Le Corsaire' last year, one of the male dancers misjudged a step and landed on the lap of a dancer who was sitting at the side of the stage. It was a heart stopping moment but the show did go on as though nothing had happened, they were amazing.  

 

Jan

 

Beautifully penned with rich imagery. Love it!!

 

Hi Gwyneth

 

Thanks for your kind comments, it is much appreciated that you took the time to read this through. 

 

Jan

[lillypilly]

really like this, but I hope the Ballerina got and to dance another day

[LooknGlass]

This is a good poetic story with a surprising twist at the end.  I really love this line:

 

"Face white as flour with falsely lashed eyes"

 

It's so well put!

 

Good write Jan.

[Janeva]

really like this, but I hope the Ballerina got and to dance another day

 

Hi Lillypilly

 

Thanks for your comments, I'm not sure whether she does, I'll leave that up to the reader to decide. 

 

This is a good poetic story with a surprising twist at the end.  I really love this line:

 

"Face white as flour with falsely lashed eyes"

 

It's so well put!

 

Good write Jan.

 

Hi James

 

Thanks for your comments, they're much appreciated 

 

Jan

[Dave Bradley]

Lovely! A day in the life of the Prima!

[Janeva]

Lovely! A day in the life of the Prima!

 

Thank you, David, for your comments, much appreciated