Restless

[Richard Watashi]

Not completely hopeless now,  

even though the dead scenes leave me restless

 

Many methods to ease sorrows after all i've done

and i can never ever stop that, 

found my self wanting it all

 

Can you tell if i still love my self?

Glare in the mirror on my own reflection indicates

 

Many wishes to opiate this strange mind-state; 

spirited-away, messing my remains

 

Sick of living this way, 

why can't i stop the time?

Too late to realize -

rotting among swarm of flies

 

And i can't destroy the spell that has been casted on me,

thus i try escape this prison of my reality

 

What has been done that has been done and, can be never undone

Some nights i'm even being haunted by some spirits of dark,

and when they crawl upon my bed up to my very back

they try to choke my neck to death while i'm thinking about sex

[Richard Watashi]

Oh no, it's a ****

[Richard Watashi]

Very constructive criticism. Definitely helpful. I'm in a rush before work but, i'll try to answer your questions and than, rework it. Maybe today at evening. 

 Thanks!!!

[Richard Watashi]

How about this version? It's better and worse at the same time. The extra words like 'ever' made it more rhythmical, but also, they were just mean. 

 

________________________________________________________________

 

Not completely hopeless,  

Although, the dead scenes leave me restless

 

I know methods to ease sorrows after what i've done

and i can never stop dreaming, while doped, 

found my self wanting to dream more

 

Can anybody tell if i still love my self?

Glaring on my face to mirrors indicates...

 

Many habits to opiate the sorrowful mind-state; 

spirited-away, messing my remains 

 

Why can't i stop the time?

Too late to realize -

dying among empty flasks

 

And i can't destroy the curse that's been casted on me,

thus i drink and dream to escape reality

 

I can't undone what i've done

Some nights i'm even being haunted by some spirits of dark,

and when they crawl upon my bed, up to my very back

they try to choke my neck to death,

and i enjoy it like a sex

[deArch]

Yep. Someone seems interested. You respond. Nothing. Tell you what. I’ll wait another year and then I’ll critique his criticism. Kidding. Last time I invested some couch-laying reflective time on a revised lyric fasstrack said thanks but that’s been put to bed for quite a while. If you still think you might resurrect this one I will give some feedback 

[Richard Watashi]

Sorry @Patchez that you came across this. I poste dthis over a year ago and it was terrible

[Richard Watashi]

Happy weekend to you @Patchez

[Richard Watashi]

@Patchez Thank you for commenting. I don't like non of my old lyrics, i think i often even didn'T stick to a point that much. But it is nice to read what you think.

[deArch]

Probably my fault. I get on a subforum and click next unread. When it said 0 replies I reacted to that but should have realized where 2 years would have taken Richards lyrics. My bad. R & B on

[Richard Watashi]

No problem at all man. Thank you for commenting.  I will not resurect it though, man. I just think it is not really nothing great for me to work on. It sounds random.