FunnyMan

[Jac]

A fast and furious 2 min poem l just wrote.. 

there's a comedian on tv that l just loathe

please feel free to dissect and pull it apart,

i'm in the mood for pain.

 

Funny Man.

 

Funnyman nearly walked in my shoes today

oh no he didnt, oh yes he did

funnyman was just walking my way

oh no he didnt, oh yes he did.

 

Funnyman thinks he knows my life

but he's never, met my wife

he makes jokes he's never seen

but just for once, will he come clean.

 

He's not so funny now he's in my shoes

he stepped through the mirror

and ate the clues

his wife's now invalid, just like mine

oh yes she is, oh no she isnt.

 

Funnyman took off his shoes today

is'nt that always just the way

Is'nt he lucky he just tell jokes

on TV, as he throws the pokes.

 

He should walk in my shoes for  just one day 

but that's what happens, they just  walkaway.

he pockets his money and earnt a quid, 

oh no he did'nt, oh yes he did.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[jhanover]

I like the use of is and isn’t but the rest comes across as forced rhymes. That can happen with quick writes. If you were to have is and isn’t play as a refrain, or repetitive line with alternate rhymes could work.

” That kind of humor throws you in prison

Sorry? Yes he is, no he isn’t “

” That punchline, so easily given

overused yes it is, or no it isn’t “

Just as rough examples. What is your most common form you find strength in? Mine is the Pantoum.

[Jac]

12 hours ago, jhanover said:

I like the use of is and isn’t but the rest comes across as forced rhymes. That can happen with quick writes. If you were to have is and isn’t play as a refrain, or repetitive line with alternate rhymes could work.

” That kind of humor throws you in prison

Sorry? Yes he is, no he isn’t “

” That punchline, so easily given

overused yes it is, or no it isn’t “

Just as rough examples. What is your most common form you find strength in? Mine is the Pantoum.

hi jhanover, how are you ?  my above poem is one of  ' one a day ' quick writes. challenges... not meant to be serious work. l do it for fun lol.

l wrote it in 2 mins flat lol.

l just find a title theme and let it flow. l dont think about what lm writing, l just let it go. lol. 

 

im interest if others do that in their days writing schedule.  Do you do that ?

l try to have a set plan

mine is l hr fooling around with what ever comes into my head   (like above poem)

 a few hr's working on some serious stuff .

and at least l hr studying a music Artists lyric writing. At the moment its Kate Bush lyric writin

l keep a small pad handy to write down title ideas as they.

l keep a A4 note pad next to me for scribbling ideas. im constantly having ideas . ie, a theme title popped in my head as l put the kettle on this morning..had to stop and write it down , drives me crazy if l dont lol. 

plus iv just bought a brilliant massive  large multi compartment case that has loads of paper pockets for me to file all my work in . l love it but its taking me some time to organize it. 

 

and l hr studying lyric structure.

 

l dont study poetry structure anymore, im trying not to even write poetry anymore, it gets in the way of lyric structure such a lot and complicates things , but its so hard to give up. l dont want to study poetry, l want to study lyric writing.

 

tell me how you structure your writing day, l d love to hear. 

take care

Jac.

[jhanover]

Look up the lyrics to Elvis Costello and Echo and The Bunnymen lyrics, they are well structured and a lot of play on words. Lyrics are a lot more poetic than most want to believe. Acrostic in “ LOVE “ by Nat King Cole, Villanelle/Pantoum in Johnny Cash, most everything Bob Dylan, and Lou Reed write/wrote. The rules and structures of poetry can be a device to create hooks, verses, choruses, and the occasional bridge. Blake’s “ Tyger “ poem is very lyrical.