The End Is Near, The Bridge Too

[MissMurder]

What about this: (Thanks for your opinion)

The end is near, the bridge too

Everything's too late,

everything's not so great.

We make the mistakes of our own

and all I have to think about is what you have shown.

I don't know how to deal with it.

I feel so unbelievably sick.

Oh, how could I cry for me and you,

my love has gone with you but will I ever make it trough?

Life goes by to fast.

Nothing lasts.

I want to make everything right,

but it's gonna be a big big fight.

Nothing's fine, am I that blind?

Someday. Then I sway away.

Way away.

Can't say no more,

oh my god, how much I adore...

So wrong, so strong, so weak.

I'll never sleep.

I'm going to hell and I'll sell my soul to reach the goal.

And I'll spell the spell.

See you in hell.

Tomorrow, destoyed by sorrows.

Whom should I follow?

I'm not that cold.

[Mudknot]

Some great lines in here, but the poem jumps all over the place. I got what you were trying to say, though.

Keep it up!

[john]

Hey

I agree with Mud on this. Some great lines, and although free styles can work, I think this poem would benefit from some added structure.

Cheers

John

[merciful evans]

the subject matter reminds me of amanda's work.

raw nerves & pain, need, despair.