JH Michaels

I just had to jump in on the married train...my first wife ended up in the state hospital for the mentally whacked. Not my fault! Honest! By the way Les, for some reason I keep adding "baby" after D-Day in your first submission...

Hi Amy, thanks for the vote of confidence! I think it could be fun as well. I'm just learning how to use DAW software and as you know, there are some quite talented and thoroughly fantastic song smiths and musicians in this forum who are far and away better than I am. so please...check out some of my songs on soundcloud before you decide. and if you still do....let's talk.

Yay Amy! Congrats!

I'm working on something as well....but I will most likely not have it ready for submission by the dead-line.

Nicely done Ames....these are some good, solid lyrics. I don't know what you had in mind for music, but I had some fun with it in a 12 bar blues in A.

I made a few tweeks but this feels good to me as a final write. Thanks to everyone for the crits and praise. This was a good one, John! Innocent Eyes Copyright 2016- JH Michaels (all rights reserved) Verse: 1 We’re born into this world with innocent eyes With no distrust and none to hate But we learn from those we trust the most Our mothers, fathers, and zealous faith That shades our innocent eyes Verse: 2 Some shout out that “It’s the word of God”! But God doesn’t say these things And He shudders at the crimson opera Each demonic voice sings To destroy our innocent eyes Bridge: We’re one and the same Each and all Only learning to walk After we crawl We’re born by fate With a blank slate We often never realize When we lost Our innocent eyes Verse: 3 Oh tell me the colors of tears or blood When skin is yellow, brown, white or black The answer lies buried deep in our soul But all we have to do is look back Through innocent eyes Outro: We’re all the same Through innocent eyes (x3) Oh God let us keep Our innocent eyes. End

Ames and Les.....you can thank my great-grandma for that one.....it's the worst language I ever heard her say. I have no idea where she got it though.

Good Goobers! You came up with that "real quick" ? sheesh, nicely done.......and I like the theme. Just a couple of nits from me.....I know mic rhymes with bike...but....mics don't blast anything so I have a hang up there....the other nit is that you should have another verse after the bridge .......so if this is what you can do real quick....I'd love to see what you add to the song.

Thanks for the kind words my friend.....I've been thinking about it this weekend and I think I agree that the transition from Opera to "Each demonic voice...." needs just a little something to make it smoother. Musically, I've been lengthening some syllables to make it work in the 3rd verse....I might try adding a word or two to make it more consistant with verses 1 and 2 though. Good points! - john

Nice write Les! Personally, I like "If this is the Devil's music, bring on the four horsemen" FWIW, though, the bridge feels a bit short and stuttery (is that even a word?) at the last. maybe changing "music" to "anthem" to rhyme better with horsemen? maybe adding two mores line for a little more depth maybe with the hook again on the last line (eg. won't get no parole......while I ride to Rock n Roll") ? . Just some thoughts to consider. - John

I couldn't find anything in there to use as a refrain either, that being said, I think that you could come up with one pretty easily given the subject matter. I see the public figure, Death, and obsidian could be construed as a color in this context. I'm not seeing the reference to music genre (personally, I'd love to see a reference to polka..lol), or a number or a bridge that would follow the ballad form. I think you have some good material to comb through and massage into the proper format. I'd like to see what you do with it.

Here's my submission....I think I have the proper form and all the ingredients required ....color: crimson, black, white publicfigure: God (why not go for the top) music genre: opera and number: one. I'm still working out the final chord progression, change-ups and transitions, but here are the lyrics I'm using. Any comments are welcome! Innocent Eyes Copyright 2016- JH Michaels (all rights reserved) Verse: 1 We’re born into this world with innocent eyes With no distrust and none to hate But we learn from those we trust the most Mothers, fathers, and pious faith That shades our innocent eyes Verse: 2 Some shout out that “It’s the word of God”! But God doesn’t say these things And He shudders at the crimson opera Each demonic voice sings To destroy our innocent eyes Bridge: We’re one and the same Each and all Only learning to walk After we crawl We’re just a blank slate Born by fate We often don’t realize We have lost Our innocent eyes Verse: 3 Oh tell me the colors of tears or blood When skin is white or black The answer is deep in our soul All we have to do is look back Through innocent eyes Outro: We’re all the same Through innocent eyes We’re all the same Through innocent eyes. Inst then fade End

Hi Les, so far I'm hearing Ozzy Osborne doing this..that's a good thing...for some reason I keep hearing this to "Bark At the Moon" The only nit I have is the line " Knows not what he does they cry". It's more like David's favorite phrase "Yoda-speak" IMHO. Would you consider something like "Forgive me, for I have sinned" or at something else more direct? I'm really looking forward to seeing the rest of this! - John

Ok....I feel like I just opened the musical version of the "Chopped" entre basket......thanks John....this ought to be fun!

Hi Rev, You've got the right idea going here and I particularly like the line "so tired of chasing flowers that wilt away" However, the rest, I feel is low on content. With just two small verses, you aren't saying much, it almost feels over before you've really started if that makes sense. Take a look at all the previous lyrics, there is so much that can and should be said, thought or felt in such a personal disaster as a break-up. I think this song should be expanded to give it more depth. Just my 2 cents and keep at it!