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Dahlnotes

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He's Leaving Home


Donna

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Our oldest is moving out of the house this summer. He's not yet 18. I've every reason to believe that this is truly the end of an era, that he will garner his resourcefulness and make it on his own. I end up, like every parent I've heard before me saying, "it goes so fast."

I will miss him, more than I can say. One reason being, in the past few years he has become an artist. I recall ______ and I, after reading some school essay of his when he was 13 or so, telling him one day the writing bug would bite him and when it did...

Well, boy did it.

I remember _____, when Dylan was 14, saying seriously, "He is an artist." Musing how to help him channel that...even tho we didn't know exactly what his medium(s) would be. That's about when D. and I began a new dimension of the mother son relationship.

The separation I'd spoken of that I began feeling as a young child, that Bob the drum teacher could cure, Dylan began experiencing it as well among his peers (save a special few). Prophecies made when he was about 12 became true...he found the usual teen stuff shallow and intolerable; became greatly disillusioned; began going thru periods where he shunned fellowship to intensely write. Even media was becoming a drag - and still does at times. He wrestles with his craft.

What the heck happened? Literally the past winter I was one day reading teenage angst, and the next, a concise powerhouse of an essay. The boy was sick to death of imposed sensitivity engineering in school. So, he entered the school wide "Diversity" essay contest. This is the anti-poster boy of enforced "loving". And he won.

But the thing is, our boy is really fun. Sniff...he turned me onto Angels and Airwaves...) And Prison Break! For awhile there we'd have these feasts....like Chinese or Mexican, platters and beverages and candles and chocolates. Little children kept wanting to come into the room and Dylan would sternly cut them off at the pass. My heart'd just be on end the whole show, and I'd dive into the food. Every once in a while Dylan'd ask, "Mommy, can I have another white truffle?"

I will miss yelling at him to clean up that cursed grated cheese from the constant burrito's. I will miss going past his room and showing the peace sign, or giving him a curt list of everything he failed to do. I'll miss the constant creativity (he cut his pants longer than knee shorts and calls them "shants"; the spontaneous, hilarious things I'd access to all of the time).

Our youngest girl (G, who is 5) and Dylan often talk...he is tall, she's about 2 inches, and they've opposite coloring.

Dylan says, "you look very pretty today, G." She replies, "It's not that hard." One time, after I'd done her hair and he said she looked pretty, G replied (with some heat), "Well I'd better!"

"G, what a great dress - where'd you get it?"

"From the closet!"

When Dylan told all the siblings, here's how it went down. m (7 yrs) immediately began crying and it took a long time to stop. Meanwhile 8 yr old M comforted her (M is very maternal and CAPABLE). Elle was the sage: "there there, m. we'll still see him," and went on philisophically til she stopped and mused, "I wonder what will happen to his room? Maybe it'll be a playroom again like the old days." Little D. (the youngest, and other boy) kept playing w/ soldiers.

A. began crying after the news sunk in. G stuck her thumb in her mouth and said, "I'm not sad. But I'll miss you."

Dylan is becoming an accomplished writer. (To me, unschooled in such things) He is a brilliant poet.

His room will go to me. That means I'll have a music room I can use year round, a great perk. Other present obstacles in playing/recording will also disappear. He's very glad his room will be my little studio.

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lovely blog, donna. Your children sound wonderful :) little "G" seems to be quite the ticket! better keep an eye on her. You are dealing with this, or seem to be at least, much better than I believe I would. Im afraid I will be the parent who tries to keep her kids at home till theyre 30! Anyways, hope youre son does well on his own, from what youve said, he seems to be a very intelligent and focused young man. Best of wishes to your and your family :)

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lovely blog, donna. Your children sound wonderful :) little "G" seems to be quite the ticket! better keep an eye on her. You are dealing with this, or seem to be at least, much better than I believe I would. Im afraid I will be the parent who tries to keep her kids at home till theyre 30! Anyways, hope youre son does well on his own, from what youve said, he seems to be a very intelligent and focused young man. Best of wishes to your and your family :)

:-[ Thanks, Mandy.

It comforts me, that you can relate. I heard this: mothers, it is your job to prepare your children to do without you. Sublime wisdom and heartbreak and truth.

Yes, G needs looking after...egads!

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