I have a lot more in common with you Rob than you might suppose. I never learned to read/write music.
I made a half hearted effort to learn (with a book) at 16, and soon got tired of that. I even loved hard rock for the longest time, & anything you love that much never wholly leaves you.
Had I been lucky enough to be able to sing, my musical development might have been even closer to yours.
But I couldn’t sing. And at 16 I finally had enough money to buy a guitar. I was determined to learn everything I could. To master every style I could. As you might imagine I became (and still am) a jack of all trades. I took on so much that one lifetime isn’t enough to get good at much of it.
Never having a lesson was also a drawback, but I couldn’t see that at the time. With the stupid over-confidence of youth, I believed I could figure everything out by myself.
Playing jazz with a bunch of ‘proper musicians’ who could read was an important test for me. I was able to play with them, and do it on my terms, with my understanding (such as it is).
Sometimes though, I blagged it, and when it came out right, instead of feeling lucky, I admit I felt pretty pleased with myself. I had no right to feel that way, and it made me go away and figure out what I should have learned in the first place.
But playing by the seat of my pants (to borrow an aviation expression) does make me feel elated. If and when it sounds good as well, it is thrilling! But that doesn’t happen too often. Certainly not often enough to rely on.
I holidayed on cruises in recent years and a guitarist I got to know on there put on a few ‘talks’ where he would speak about guitars & players. Most of the people in attendance, would ask him about guitarists who were not necessarily the greatest players, but were obviously iconic to them. They would ask about Pete Townsend or Paul Weller, who obviously wrote great songs, made great music in great bands. These guys are not highly talented guitarists, but in the minds of the people who love them, they are!
Not many accomplished players are that popular anyway, and never make the huge mark on music scene in the same way that Townsend, Tom Petty or Jeff Lynne do.
What I’m trying to say is that you are in great company Rob. Us players that obsess about technique or chasing around little notes, are seldom the make the sort of music that people really love.
Besides which, I haven’t yet written a song as cool as ‘If Your House Just Falls Down’.