Musicislife

Write more, write a full song!

That's prety good. I would try to think of another way to say throughly scared though, after you say scared and then you say it again it just come out weird. Other than that its great

Hey everybody, I wrote this song and I wanted to see what you thought of it. I need to put it to music but I want to know if there is anything I can improve on. I wrote this song after I went through some plain of my own and I've spoken to many people about breakups and its taken me more than 4 months to get this as close to perfect as I can, even though its probably mediocre at best. Please criticize! Sorry for any misspelled words. Blood to Bleed How I am missing you I want you to be true You've been gone for so long I don't know what to do I can't believe you left me You wanted to be free I guess I'm happy for you I want to be free too Chorus: Take me away a from all this I want to be happy too Take me away from all this I can't stop thinking about you how could you do this I said I loved you how could you do this You said you loved me too Why don't you feel the same? Why I am I stuck loving you? How come you have everything figured out, And I'm here f*cking confused? Why is it me who feels like part of me left with you? Why is it only me that was being true? Why can't i feel like you do? Chorus: Take me away a from all this I want to be happy too Take me away from all this I can't stop thinking about you how could you do this I said I loved you how could you do this You said you loved me too You think we can be friends? I don't agree with you One thing about friendships Is that the friends have to be true I couldn't be a true friend Theirs no way I'd succeed The way I feel about you... Being friends with you- Would only make me bleed Chorus: Take me away a from all this I want to be happy too Take me away from all this I can't stop thinking about you how could you do this I said I loved you how could you do this You said you loved me too I only want what's best For both you and me But we just don't agree on what that means Because I still love you And you left me with blood to bleed

Normally what I do to inspire myself is listen to a bunch of new music, so if you need more inspiration I'd try the same thing. It's coming along very well. Also this seems like a rhyming piece, but In Paragraph two you seem to not do much rhyming, if any at all and I don't know what your going to to with the rest of the song, but I think that if you could get the things In at second paragraph to rhyme it would sound amazing. Even something simple, like rhyme wing with thing. You clipped my wings Even though I've never flown Glued my broken pieces to that thing That you call a home Expecting the glass But I never shattered You wanted forever And I still felt scattered I can't give you forever I'm not that cliche I ain't one to change And I won't break today I don't know, I kind of write those things on the spot, but I think you get the idea. I really hope I helped.