louielouwhy

The third post after yours, is Hobo Sage. He has a link at the bottom of his post. In the link is a song of his. I'm thinking that he might have put it there for you to see if you would be interested. Click on the link an check it out. My suggestion was to try out that song. I think that it has a lot of dynamic in it for you.

If you are Andrea Lazaar, I think the song Hobo Sage made would be very fitting for your voice, that is if he is offering. I think that song has a lot of dynamic in it. I think your voice is great, and great for that song.

But then nobody is going to listen, they'll only be watching

4/4 Moderate/Happy Instrument: Tambourine. g g f#a 3 1 1 3 ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// Rain, let it rain. Rain, let it rain. // Rain, let it rain. // Let it rain. Let it rain. Let it rain./// //////////////////////// //////////////////////// ///////////////// //////////////// Sun, let it shine. Sun, let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine. /// Either way I'll be refined. Let it flow. Let it show. Let me know. /// Wind, let it blow. Wind, let it blow. Let it blow. Let it blow. Let it blow. //// //////// Carry me where you will when I can't feel the rain and the sun no more.//// /// /// /// When I'm still. When I'm still. When I'm still. //// /// /// Oh mother let them reign. Oh mother let them reign. Let them reign. Let them reign. Let them reign. Let them reign till I'm no more./// Let them reign. Let them reign. Let them reign. Let them reign till I'm no more.///

Thanks a bunch Les. But I don't even have the know how of using my interface to play sound effects, never mind down loading a recording onto the computer and storing it in a file. Wasted time and money ashamed to say. Aggravating. And. I don't want to put anybody out having to give me instructions. I'm sure others have better things to do. Besides, I'm a half ass musician and horrendous singer. I don't want to spread regrets for good deeds. Plus. I believe that I've got dinosaur equipment here. though never used. There were times however that it could have made a good shot-put. But. Much appreciated! Thanks!

No know how to upload it to record it. Invite anyone who may be able to figure out the tune who has the know how, to record it, only under the condition if you like the song enough. 4/4 Cheerful Upbeat Moderate Tempo. Note's values: 1/16 = , 1/8 = 1, 1/4 = 2, 1/2 = 3, O = O Rest's symbols and values: 1/8 = ', 1/4 = -, 1/2 = [, O = [] Rhythm is similar to that of the RADAR LOVE song. Key of G. I believe the fourth note excluded is e. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Acoustic guitar. G chord is always played without b. Intro D 1111-2111111 & repeat 3x. ddbd-dddddbd a one and a G //// and a //// G C open (dgb) D 2121122 (repeat D 1x) (dg) 2 o 3 1 1 g g c c d She had a de gree. [] [] G C open (dgb) D ////////////// dg 2 1 3 2 2 2 - 2 2 g g g g c c b d Thought it'd make her fancy - and free. [] [] G C (dac)D/ // // // 2 1 1 3 2 3 2 2 2 g g g g g c c c d But their future - she could not - foresee. [] [] D C (dac)D 2 1 2 2 2 2 3 d c b d In a place - they'd rather not be. [] [] D G C D D Dg D .. 1 1 2 o o 2 1 o o 2 1 2 3 3 2 1 3 d g d g g g g c c d d g d g But he judged her not [ ] in all, and all she got, [] and all - she had - Gf#G.Gf#.................. 1 g not.[][][][][][][ G D G Gf#............... 2 3 2 2 1 g g d g g He judged [ her [ not. [][][][] G C (dgb) D.................. 3 3 2 2 2 2 3 3 2 1 g g g g g g c c b d He was gritty [] and he thought - he was smart. [][][][] D G (cad) B A 1 1 1 3 2 1 2 1 d d d g a b Learning somethings - he'd rather - not. [][][][ G C B A G C (dgb) A 1 1 2 2 2 2 21 2 3 2 3 2 3 g g g g c b a d d c c b a He prefered [ a sim - ple - life [] and liked [ to sleep - both day and night A G D Gf#.............. 2 2 3 3 3 3 a a a g d g and solved things [ by - his - might. [][][][][][] G C D......... 1 3 1 1 1 g g d d g She judged him [ not. [][][] G C (dac) D................. 1 o2 2 3 2 g g g c b d In all, - and all he got. D Dg D Gf#........ 1 2 2 21 1 d g f# g And. All [ he did not. [] G D Gf#.........D.............(gdg).........C.........D..........Gf# 1 o 2 3 2 g g d f# g She judged - him not. [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][] (First Bridge between vocal melody and guitar rhythm and key) G C gb G...................... G C B A 2 o 3 1 oo 1 1 2 1 2 2 3 d d c b d d d d d c b b a She had a - degree. Thought it'd make - her fancy and free (Second Bridge with D A D, guitar only) A................D...........A.......D [][][][ [] [] - D C (dgb)(da) D (dg) D 1 1 2 1 3 2 2 1 o 1 1 2 2 2 2 3 d d d d d c c b a d d d d g Which took her someplace [ she'd rather be. [][ After they loved-and dis a G............... o g greed. (Third Bridge) G C (dgb) D G C (dgb) A (dg) D G.... 2 1 1 1 2 3 2 2 21 1 21 1 2 2 1 1 g g c b d g g g g b a a a g d g He judge-judge [ her not.[]In all.[and all,-they got.[]And. All-he [ has- not. G D G G......C......(dgb)...D..........dg......D.......G.... 2 2 2 2 g g d g He judges her not. ------------------ by Paul Lapre

Les, I had to laugh when you said "could be wrong'. because I envisioned a wife standing behind her husband in the act of referring to her status there, with hands on hips tapping her toes. If she was, I hope she didn't understand that song that same way I related it to myself for your sake. Because my experience that inspired these lyrics is usually quite dreadful. I wish that I knew how to transfer recording on line. Not that I haven't tried in the past. Otherwise I surely would send it. Thanks for the positive! Paul

Thanks. I hope your serious. The rest of it? If you can't tell me what the author is experiencing, then this song is a failure.

I'm finding it easier to write other people's songs other than my own. You done all the work expressing the idea. I feel like a mere english teacher. However, nothing valueless about them. I wish I was talented enough to be a quality producer, I'd be popping out songs from here all over the place. Unless I'm imagining that I'm better than I really am.

Nevertheless Ames, it expresses devastation but from a different source. It certainly hits the nail on the head, or in your case the heart with a shock. There is good points there. I think if you thought about the use of certain words it could be improved to explain the symbolism more accurately. I thought the symbolism was really good. I hope that I didn't take the pleasure out of you changing on your own. If you like it, think of me if it becomes a smash hit someday. If I done too much, don't be afraid to let me know.

Hi Gang! Over an hour ago I tried two other points but failed before trying my hand at this one. Maybe this one worked because I just experienced it. This emotion is always experienced when we do something we regret. Before this title, I had already posted the emotion as the title, I didn't think about whether I could do that or not until it was done. If I wasn't supposed to, hopefully no one saw it. (Intro & chorus) You go on and on. And. On and on, As I really don't know what you are talking about. (chorus) You go on and on. And. On and on. As I really do not understand Except you think your opinion is in such high demand A leading man in some high command You stand. (bridge) You stand. You stand with mere information Geared toward degradation It's your sensation of correlation with some syncopation to what you think is truly revelation In the making. In the making. (bridge) For your taking By reshaping Your mistaking With excuses of what was said That kinks the crown up in your head You still preach to me that I'm mislead All based on an education that you've been fed. (chorus) And. You go on and on. And. On and on. And. On and on. And. On and on. On and on.

I got my ipod in my pocket. My pants are falling down. I'm think'n about knock'n ya out while you walk'n through my town. Don't be walk'n, don't be talk'n, and wear'n those colors loud? Yo should know better that I'm the trend setta. Yo! Be original, or I'll show yo how. I believe in Obama. I'm glad he's my pres. Don't know what he stands for but I believe what he says. Why you walk'n, why you talk'n, and wear'n those colors loud? Yo should know better that he's a trend setta. Yo! Be original, let me tell yo how! Yo, when my fingers wave, I got my power aid. Be speak'n no humility, my pride's no masquerade. And. I'm no psycho watch me ride a bike, yo. Hey babe ya need a ride? Where you walk'n, what cha talk'n, wear'n those colors loud? Yo! Knows better. You a trend setta. Yo original! Come on babe, right now! S'up ya'll?

Thanks Les! Maybe I did something wrong myself. Maybe I misunderstood exactly what I was supposed to do, "what would pop culture be in relation to this contest?" I figured it was anything new, that gets to be popular, or assimilates to what is popular already in trend. You got me thinking that I done something irrelevant. Always eager to learn. To tell you the truth, I questioned exactly what pop culture was referring to in relation to this at first. It just dawned on me now, that maybe I was supposed to use a song already created and popular with the selections posted by John. And. What you said was encouraging in regards to the point the song made. Thanks again. Well, if I screwed up at least I got an original song out of it. Nevertheless, I apologize.

That's good. I said this before in other critiques, lyrics may not need too much altercation based on the tune, and my tune to every lyric I read may not do justice to what you have merged together. 1. But. I would repeat Give me love once. And. Also, after so he sang, either I wouldn't put anything until the next set of verses, or I would change Your love was never mine to began - to make sense. 2. Instead of the word In, I'd use the word We're. And. Instead of the word As, I'd use Because. 3. Instead of I've, I would use as well as everywhere. Or. Though....nowheres....there Those changes I would make separate from the Chorus. 4. Chorus. I'd replace Why don't you come over with, I can't get over the love we'd make......listening to.,,,, . And. Now is this time worth, worth old time sake, instead of Just old time sake. 5. Bridge. After....within a dream - did our past make. Instead of Only you could make. I'd put. My body trembled, my body screamed never in it for love in it for lust, my yearning heart and careless trust. Only you - now a must. 5. Chorus.

I was a free bird till I met ya. I was a free bird, I flew alone. I was a free bird when you sought me, now I'm a dull drone in your control. I was a Monet before you upset me. I was a Monet of colors a glow. I was a Monet until you left me as a deserted barron hole. But I'll twist ya. I'll twist ya. I'll twist ya out, you'll see. I'll twist ya. I'll twist ya, I'll twist ya till I'm free. I was the Ip Man before you showed, now I'm a midnight cowboy without a home. Now, I'm in Los Angeles. Destination unknown. But I'll twist ya, I'll twist ya, I'll twist ya, till I'm home. I'll twist ya. I'll twist ya. I'll twist ya, until I'm re known. I was a free bird so free. There was a Monet about me. I was the Ip Man, now I'm a lost man, a midnight cowboy in Los Angeles, so twisted. So twisted. So twisted. So twisted. So twisted. So twisted. So twisted, till I untwist what you made of me. So twisted. So twisted. So twisted, contorted me. So twisted. So twisted. So twisted. I was a free bird so free. There was a Monet about me. I was the Ip Man, now I'm a lost man, a midnight cowboy in Los Angeles. So twisted. So twisted, distorted, contorted, unsorted, subordinate, but I can see. So twisted. So twisted, but I'll break free.

I was a free bird till I met ya. I was a free bird, I flew alone. I was a free bird when you sought me, now I'm a dull drone in your control. I was a Monet before you upset me. I was a Monet of colors a glow. I was a Monet until you left me as a deserted barron hole. But I'll twist ya. I'll twist ya. I'll twist ya out, you'll see. I'll twist ya. I'll twist ya, I'll twist ya till I'm free. I was the Ip Man before you showed, now I'm a midnight cowboy without a home. Now, I'm in Los Angeles. Destination unknown. But I'll twist ya, I'll twist ya, I'll twist ya, till I'm home. I was a free bird so free. There was a Monet about me. I was the Ip Man, now I'm a lost man, a midnight cowboy in Los Angeles, so twisted. So twisted. So twisted. So twisted. So twisted. So twisted. So twisted, till I untwist contorted me. I was a free bird so free. There was a Monet about me. I was the Ip Man, now I'm a lost man, a midnight cowboy in Los Angeles. So twisted. So twisted. Distorted. But I can see.

After reading some of the verses they lead me to a brief sense of deep thought . At some points it lured me to where I thought their meaning might be heading. But following verses sidetracked the lure towards a connection. Those luring verses, I thought were interesting enough to make other songs out of. From my experience with my own creations, I found I had to redo them multiple times by extracting some lyrics out and replacing others which I think are closer to my points in order to give them the overall meaning that is intended. I think the song has too many needless verses that don't quite emphasize enough about the ones that I think are the substantially meaningful ones that moved me towards where I thought the song was going. But that is just my opinion. There are plenty of songs out there that are a lot worse, and they make millions.