nihalkolar

lol, sorry for being late xD THANKS A LOT CHPPER! really helped me

Hey! Me and my crew wrote a song on the 'Detroit Vs. Everybody' beat and it turned out real cool The song's reaal long so click on the page to be directed to the lyrics So, check it out and please tell me about it Thanks http://www.rappad.co/rap/85060

pretty good but real short flow was off, get your lines longer rap aint supposed to be this less, each lines gotta be 8-15 syllables get a verse to 'least 16 bars and syllable count was off! write on a beat cause its wayy easy anyways, cool, keep it up

Hey man, thanks

Its me again but this time with a pen Jotting down lyrics faster than you can Obviously, a decapitated body can jot things faster than you And you had me shaken, i had to brace the plane crash A plain dash, your worse than lil wayne with his insane flash Seeing your skill trash is a pain in the ass with an insane laugh You can't pick up, you'll hick up, with your dick up, till you split up There's a gap between you and rap but you'll quit, yep You hobo ain't going no hollywood so stop rhyming words You hobo ain't rolling bold, so cold, look, the cold winds blow I'm here to shoot ya without a gun but words, see, I'm priming worlds Your shiny glow is about 250 million miles from earth Call up roarke, he'll sign ya up with diapers worth dirt I'm lining my army, still mining to find diamonds? Well, I'm the worthiest of the worthy, you ain't even worth a barbie You're the dirty barbie but hearty ken ain't finna give no shit 'bout shorty

Hahah, thanks man!

ohhh, yeahh :\ Thanks yo

Link to the beat : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2d9YFBH2yE VERSE 1 Can't ya'll see all this crappedy crap stabbing me Just can't stop, relieve these atrophies jabbing me just can't drop, retrieve key's energy lagging here guess it cant stop them tragedies from strapping me to asylum seats, a silent kid being solitary, backing him was bullshit at school, fights dragging him into trouble, at some, having him in abandoned streets unplanned of shit, subliminally to find his abandoned dreams and his empty black road back home The kid was left alone, left to burn, under the cold sun he walked alone, reborn and stunned the whole ton of people, from the top till their toes, they were time struck but still, he was brain washed, wasn't functioning grime put In him like potter, manipulated by Voldemort, slime got over his past, present, future with bullshit shooting crime shots He can't recover cause he's being mind-f*cked VERSE 2 Had my knife on my left, drugs on my right Had my fights in my life, them slugs on my side Painkillers to do the job were outta my sight Steadier I took the knife, emptier, shook my eyes Stabbed my self, felt heavier, I took my blinds off Knife in my brain, cut through the chest till I fell down Fell on the floor screaming till i gassed out Felt the gain with the pain to be slashed out Be gone forever, my rap career's bashed out I'm dreaming, I'm screaming and ain't breathing lemme pull out my heart for break leaving Here's my heart for all who wanted to tear me apart Here's my reward for killing me, to fear me not im gone for long, ya'll maggots can be back to your jobs stacked to your lobs, fact is i'm gone, that is I'm dark And mark soon, you'll be dark too, doomed VERSE 3 Woke up in the hospital, friends clubbed with sounds of tears looked at my heart's rate, them ups and downs of fears same way, our dice being thrown, flipping with the cups of frowns downed with kills, was scarred no more with pops and bloahs! the drops and fouls, looked at all the clocks they stopped I died and took time but with me alive, survived and locks unlocked time was racing back on, i guess i do matter all along blocks unblocked Time restored, looks like i did shatter and fall along falls all dropped thought my homes scattered and stalled but i was wrong even after i stopped living every moment, thought my hopes were lost even-ed after I hopped stealing their hearts, they did miss me but i did more, weeping laughter that's the kinda' shit i did when i woke up, i cracked a joke and seeking answer from me, everyone jumped in tears, hugged with and pumped with cheers well, all our saga's close with 'lived happily ever after'

its pretty good stuff good internal rhymes it was longggggggggg lol work on ya hook its easier to write songs with a beat, gives u a better flow and sets ur mood, know what i mean? its easier to write hooks too get in some multi-syllable rhymes

heyy man! Thanks and yepp, we could kinda like keep in touch, i mean work out each others stuff

Hey guys! been a pretty long time since i came online over here so i couldn't critic out people's lyrics... been busy with studies and stuff so yeah.. Anyways, here's my song and hope you guys like it I couldn't upload the beat for some reason... Verse 1 I'm the meanie now you see me, with my genies, 'now you lead me' with my dreamie's, outta this dream, see, Wasn't with the speed, please seek help for me, no peek-a-boo dude, save me from these two freak brutes unhook my goddamn dream root! Wait, what's, what's happening now? ain't stuck, just maddening out outta here if your dangling me how strangling me now from the tree top, 'bloah!' I'm back again to the real world with a lack of strength A bag of revenge, a sack of slit heads again, i got more prey to finish it finished up everything that started from teensy things, im weeping so heartily all i wanted was a good friend but in the end, you were a con man I was a gone man, a total goner said By everyone, oh father, head me farther From this mess im placed and dont forgot That it Hook Looks like im going psycho, i go Unleashing the devil to fight all Being tested in a locked up asylum just gonna experiment 1065, wont matter Looks like im going psycho, i go Unleashing the devil to fight all Being tested in an asylum Verse 2 I was as cold as ice my core's melting off splice The connection right between my life composure and control oh its getting dimmer, slimmer like nights Days and rays getting brighter sights they hit my eyes and burn out my eyesight, oh my! by brighter i mean they're beaming shit at my vision draining away reliance on humanity I keep dreaming for a better day, on bleeding I never stop hitting but now im done and leaving 'cause the society is changing, fading away make a change today, stop hating your days forget about rubbish and cherish the best moments following this routine's turning into a hard thing can't stop thinking about flickering about my pen getting worried and suffering for no damn reason its hard forgetting stuff and taking out the knife that stabbed waste stuff into my mind Rife about utterly waste matters all the time that's got no sign of life or divine articles or particles in sight and Hook Looks like im going psycho, i go Unleashing the devil to fight all Being tested in a locked up asylum just gonna experiment 1065, wont matter Looks like im going psycho, i go Unleashing the devil to fight all Being tested in an asylum Verse 3 its just that i wanna scream out loud im lost on an island with your shit now Oh lord, somebody please get me out Im going by my own survival skills, f*ck you now f*ck ALL OF YOU MORONS GET OUTTA MY STORAGE SLOWING DOWN ALL MY ORGANS AIN'T SORTED BUT DISTORTED I'VE GOT TOO MUCH TO HANDLE SOON I'LL BE SAMPLE SOOT OR BE SUCKED UP IN A BLACK HOLE DOOMED LETS ZOOM BACK IN TIME BACK IN TIME TO THE LABS I BELONGED TO GREW UP TO BE PERHAPS EXPERIMENTED WITH THREW UP A COUPLE OF FILAMENTS BUT STILL IN A POSITION OF NOT BEING SEALED IN A ROOM NO MORE I CANT TAKE THAT SHIT ANYMORE OH NO!, I GOTTA RUN AWAY FROM THIS, GONE FAR AS FAR AS THE ORION NEBULA MAYBE THAT'S MY NEXT DESTINATION Hook Looks like im going psycho, i go Unleashing the devil to fight all Being tested in a locked up asylum just gonna experiment 1065, wont matter Looks like im going psycho, i go Unleashing the devil to fight all Being tested in an asylum

ohhh, damnn im sorry man how was it?...the song

Verse 1 Ever since fourteen, Things a different routine Ever since the mean queen arrived in the canteen It's been chaos at the scene, survived through the disease Been three years since World war 3, Fought troops gained our hopes, nope, captured with the smoke screen Paid our prize tryna contrive with demons, to be a freeman Were tortured with evil, they'll get to shoot us but you got the armor of a beetle, they can't dispute us Even if they pursuit us, they cannot permute us You gotta fight at the right height, not lose us They cannot shoot us or uproot us, from the system We're made from, they cannot loot us from our existence Show 'em what your made of, persuade 'em or upgrade 'em Don't need any assistance, gotta lead the mission Life is amazing but it beams, 'cause people keep killing it Gotta live your life and dreams, but people keep killing it Verse 2 Life's a maze, gotta get through ways within few days live every day like your last, time runs fast delete 'bad' cache stored in your brain, cast it away do it fast or your plane's gonna crash, smashed by the bay got nothing left but ashes, glanced and got no chances You restrict it, the past, it's over and it'll be the last You tricked it, the blast, you got out with a spell cast You kicked it, surpassed all the crap and expelled it at last It may be boring and your probably snoring but Its fun when you explore it and adventures pour down Gotta store this in your core to denture the best parts, although Bad days come and go, sad days come and go Gotta keep hope, never use the 'rope' and glow Chase your dreams, don't let it go, no Today, you gotta stay and display to the world that you won't decay even after the twists and turns Verse 3 It's the last day on planet earth, We're stranded dirt Politicians granted maggots access, handed planet dirt Got their cannons, landed and planted causing havoc, to this birth got their rubbish money and managed to get off without being hurt got their mummy and caught their carriage, damaged by earth's kids with this, got their planet back from filthy hands and ravaged their plans been shattering their bases for ages and won the greatest battle with their names in history pages and created places and phases Got their claims and fame but were chased by hatred flames sent by satan to degrade the sacred people who aimed for a better world so sure, they made a change in faith and we gotta stay and pray for 'em, may sound strange but wait the day will come, when you can show your ballet, but you gotta practice, for the show and people gotta say 'Woah!' and throw tomatoes, nahh, i was just messing around all i gotta say is 'Go get that dress on, now!'

It's pretty good stuff work on the second verse cause you went off track and work on ur wordplay That's it!

Verse 1 Got the fame in rap, wanna be my homies Burn in flames and snap, 'cause you weren't there when i was lonely ain't ashamed, damn, drained their efforts to say sorry Don't need any companions, better to be abandoned Than being stranded and being held captive by bandits f*ck a bandage, they ain't on the top, ain't champions got strategies to cause tragedy and brutality You gotta rampage their kingdom, suck out pernicious fearsome like a vampire, it'll taste delicious Sacrificed all my food and time, to soot a time with you guys, in return, i got slime and got tuned away betrayed me and fay Don't deserve any respect, deserve to be wrecked back and returned from the underworld to inject humans with a poisonous chemical to be depressed over earth's final days, it'll be our last breath Verse 2 I'm sick of your excuses, the confusion, it's all an illusion Hope you realize it was your fault, couldn't connect the dots I'm stuck and tangled up in knots in different spots can't f*cking take them shot's, your the boss of the lot I'm lost, looks like its a whiteout, its a frigging blot blurred my vision, i gotta get outta this prison blurred my decision, f*ck me, insight of collision Ain't destroyed, I'm outta recognition Deployed men to kill me, I'm outta ignition ain't got no one cause im a different edition shot's being fired at me, your outta ammunition here's my chance to get outta this mission never knew there was a demolition coming my way never knew there was a petition coming my way wanted me to get back, granting me permission Had enough of your shit, don't wanna listen Verse 3 Yo, sorry for the song, I'm marred in a well with bullshit, its hard, im barred in a cell It's like hell man, why don't admit you was wrong but I ain't strong enough to handle or sort it squandered all my energy, they weren't worth it Find a nice bird, the others love to hurt it coming at me, tryna confess guilt, im done with that filth its a waste tryna apologize cause its late to regret all the shit you said, looks like im the bait its all a dream, in a couple of seconds I'll be awake Lost miles away from home with broken bones got only stones to eat, only bones to greet Ain't got any feelings for what I'm dealing This shit makes me cry, I ain't gonna die cause shit like this jumps every time It's a trampoline that's dismantles every life