Leupo Ishai

this a rap attack not a trap attack you got drama boy i ain't catchin that got my own check yeah i'm cashin that take the whole hit yeah i'm cashin that you hashin back old memories for my mental slack i'm flashin back to 3 am can't outrun my mental past you a crazy bitch i remember that but.. girl you f*ckin with my emotions and you're f*ckin up my notions were so same but so different come together like atlantic versus pacific oceans poppin up and down like a roller coaster got me poppin off like i'm off my holster

dope as hell man i'm gonna be lookin out for you.

oh alright, you're good.

?

Thought it'd be fun to try a trap type song. Let me know what you think about it critique is always welcomed! don't know who the f*ck you is raps be stinky like a deuce is see yall niggas later like dueces my raps tellin stories like dr suess is you're unknown nigga better send a drone nigga i'm just chillin and sippin on my patron nigga yeah i got that cat in the hat and i rap that get my pack back in my backpack bringing rap back like nigga so fast on my pokemon ratatatat bitch so fine ima tap that lil johnny down bring the trap back cop settin traps and i catch that planning so good you can't hatch that feelin drake in a subaru hatch back movin on like that's the last pack bitches attackin me on twitter wit a hashtag niggas tellin me like man i wish i had that and i think it's kinda sad that most yall niggas dont know where you stand at but look at me that's just where my brand at niggas ask me if i know that nigga brandon i'm like no but i know my star wars and i'm landin like calrissian science bitch nuclear fission country boy and i'm out here fishin then but sadly this verse is finishin if you want more then get to listenin and wishin that ima rap that never wrap that all my craps at where i lack that my raps are a mystery scooby doo better crack that but everybody knows that shaggy is a crack head and boo hoo your childhood so sad nigga ain't nobody care shits too bad shots flyin and you'll catch that money leavin the room better get that cash back i'm like f*ck a nigga and his snapback hit ya girl up last night on my snapchat young niggas like eggs better hatch that nigga learn where your buckets at aye dog where my nigga t buckets at promise you i’m the most crazy nigga to date yesterday you said tomorrow and now it's today how damn long you tryna wait you a f*ck boy never take ya girl out on a date postin on twitter like you want a tbh and rate like really nigga? is that how you gon win your mate? life ain't fair life ain't fair call that shit a stalemate swag so bright im finna blind a mate they be settin me up like blind dates and damn i wish i was blind on that date cuz that hoes face so ugly it was blindin me mane you're unkown nigga i'm just chillin and sippin on my patron nigga and shit i ain't a bettin man but i'm bettin you won't catch me frettin man look around at all this shit who the f*ck you think set it man rollin round in my muthaf*ckin sudan niggas playin like i ain't got no muthaf*ckin floor plan i'm blowin this shit up like it's iran don't be jealous just cuz i rap better than you can only thing yo ass good for is a spray can kill all y'all niggas and get the throne that's my game plan sittin at home at the bottom that's how this shit began ohh these verses gettin hot better turn up the attic fan cookin these niggas and flippin packs like a muthaf*ckin frying pan and you know i'm cashin out like the goddamn bank of japan don't think i'm a fool cuz i'm intelligent workin on my muthaf*ckin stock purchase plan gettin ready to wheel yo junk ass out like a trash can why are you so borin? change your name to raisin bran ima do me and you could f*ck off that's the master plan went to your girls house 4 times this week that's my travel plan i'm so high on life that i'm flyin right by like i'm muthaf*ckin peter pan don't scrutinize me i know that i'm rollin round in a mini van but none of y'all niggas can understand my secret plan use your mind i'm just buildin up my pension plan just watch next week ima be floatin round in my cataran nigga please i'm bringin up all these young kids like a watering can probably already lost half y'all bitch ass niggas with no attention span you don't know who you're f*ckin with got my own religion like joseph smith i'm craftin my words i guess i'm a wordsmith one day niggas speak my name like a damn myth all y'all niggas so sour be tastin like some damn granny smith no chorus nigga only verse is what i'm sayin f*ck you thinkin that i'm playin ain't no games out here man we slayin and we slangin niggas gettin uneasy and they be swayin y'all niggas better bring what you owe cuz i'm weighin if you f*ckin with this crew you best be prayin cuz all my niggas hungry and we preyin puttin bodies down and we layin shit don't bother me that's just what i'm sayin don't need no piece on my belt cuz my words be sprayin aye i just wanna know who i can trust i'm surveyin spread your feathers out and get to displayin cuz i ain't playin this delayin watch yo ass that's what i'm sayin i ain't playin sweepin around as i'm aimin all this hate is frustratin i feel like y'all ain't even participatin better catch up real quick cuz there ain't no waitin smokin the troubles away spend the whole night bakin livin life like you on top and all you do is fake it can't pretend to be happy and dance the night away like kevin bacon ........ now take some some time to be reawakened

I'm looking for some feedback on how I can generally improve this piece and advice on how to continue. everybody only worryin about a brand new car and kids these days don't know who they really are they tell you jump for the star as if that's really far this culture is how kids will end up sittin on a bar and sure you could say that my rappin is pretty up to par but if i'm doin me and you're doin you it doesn’t even matter kids in the school nowadays actin like sharks as they encircle these bitches preyin on you cuz you're different just like Steve Urkel all of life's universal that shit come back like a full circle i cant believe its so hurtful when these bullies get so verbal keep your shell hard like a turtle know you above em like the color purple people puttin down people and that's just today's culture got niggas jumpin over hurdles just to get to the herbals dont pick on a nigga cuz he got his pokemon squirtle for all you know he's makin your girl go squirtle all these losers gloin up now cuz they fertile

Thanks bro, that means a lot!

second line of second verse could do without the first "to" and just change "sentence" to "sentenced". also could be a little more consistent in content. you go from having the most real shit ever written and having to be near to success to not having the balls to try and having life pass you by

seems kind of simple and rushed. there is an apparent lack of effort to it like a freestyle? not to say it's particularly bad because there is some potential. you just have to think these through more than just putting words that rhyme together down on paper. explore more rhyme schemes too you could improve even more with better structure. you can check my profile out and see if you like it. if you do, then feel free to message me and i'd be glad to see if we could put something together

Got some spelling issues, and it could flow better. I'm sure it has to do with your time limit, but i'd like to see how some of your shit comes out if you spent a little more time and thought on them.

got some bars man. keep em coming

Pop in my new cd Call me papa in new guinea Yall poppin crude scrutiny Bullet holes bullet holes I got a screw in me This rap shit is old Aint none of this new to me Flo is so ill, like I got the rap flu in me f*ck that isis. Asshad. Where that Putin be. f*ck that crisis. It's hard. Niggas they shootin me. Can't handle success. All the hate is just boostin me.

haha thanks man.

Those are great hip-hop lyrics. I think what distinguishes rappers and makes them better than the others is their ability to not only rhyme, but to rhyme smoothly and tell a story. There are no made up words in here just to make it rhyme, and you can tell it wouldn't be a beat focused song. It would focus on the story and lyrics. Real piece right here man keep killing it.

The way this scheme flows is hella smooth. Not choppy at all. Great lyrics too. I'd definitely continue with this one man. Good shit.

Looking for feedback. Atelophobia I don't f*ck with your capacity for apprehension i'm approximate with the proximity of tension puttin in the recension on the quotation of my descension gotta elevate to acquire this level of ascension gotta ameliorate on your tendencies don’t celebrate all your improprieties niggas domin’ on me so silently f*ckin with me means accepting your fate tough break thats your predestination not mine i'm getting ready for my commencement time aye dog you got my acceptance tie? lemme hear that compliance line right here’s that defiance and wine i'm my own guy but if i was drake i'd spend a year on every line i put consideration into my creation, y'all perform desecration on your procreation i don't get how people be into this hypocrisy think about the plank in your own eye honestly maybe you're not on top. i mean its a probability but yall niggas think everything is a liability you'll never claim legitimate credibility that shit can't match up to my capability i can't even take a step outside without my niggas standin right there with me i'm not saying that i'm superior i'm not even sayin yall are inferior shouldn't say that shit at all that's how all my shit’ll fall i'm executin and concludin niggas need to get up and start doin life can’t be endlessly interludin understand that you're just a student invest in the trial and gain back in the dividend i know my shit is fire n’ i preach to the very end i don't need one single nigga to tell me where i'm at if you gon step up step up, and that's that hoes so hungry it's like they anorexic bitches be changing their waistline like its elastic they even think that's fantastic but don't you want to be emblematic or idiosyncratic i don't understand why people all wanna be the same that's a damn shame cause all those kids ain't gon’ achieve their fame these niggas is so lame their verses are so tame when i catch up and save the dame ima catch these niggas face and put it in a frame

I like your message, and I think other people will find it relative. However, this is a very common and mainstream position take at this point in time. Definitely not saying that it is not a good position. You should definitely still keep with it, but tweak it and add more unusual elements. If you want your position to stand out above all the others out there, then you have to put something on there that is unique and passionate enough to convince people that this is something you actually are enthusiastic about. Enthusiasm is the most attractive feature in music especially in rap. Think, have you ever heard a good rapper be monotone or conformist? They all have their own individual attitude in their works. I'm sure you have some great stuff firing off in your mind so just write it all down and don't hold back. Also some of the diction is choppy such as "the rich stay rich and you believe parties which tell you a lie to get in power" the lines and rhymes cut off mid sentence and disturbs the flow. But hey man good job overall and keep on speaking on important issues.

I like it, nice flow.

I love the idea of this piece. It could probably use some tweaking to make it flow a little bit. Take a look at the structure and i'm sure you can improve and provide a more smooth deliverance, but I really like where it's going.

Everybody lies Everybody got their own lord of the flies Secrets and lies People aint never really wise When people used to tell me shit I never thought otherwise I thought niggas was real and didn’t tell no lies I trusted those niggas to keep my faith All they did was tear it away Turned me around made me run the other way Now I think in a new way The real way Life ain’t always about the sun’s ray Sometimes you gotta live with the rain Cuz everybody lies Everybody got they own way Everybody thinks they wise And f*ck a nigga thinkin otherwise They had a young boys life to mold I should thank them for the man I can now behold In years I am young but in experience I grow old This is life so grab your hunny and bring her in close But if too much trust start Watch for the knife she will slip in your heart Cuz everybody lies Everybody got they own way Everybody think they wise And f*ck a nigga thinkin otherwise They say you don’t really know what you got till it’s gone Well now I know and i’m about to kick its ass back to day one I dont give a f*ck what they really want I know what they deserve and I wanna be the one who serves Cuz revenge is a dish best served cold And i’m running back on them niggas like batman the brave and the bold If you tryna stop me you might as well fold Cuz God knows this nigga won’t stop to the day he grow old And if these bitches, these snitches, these f*ckin itches under my skin dont stop talking and causin me to sin then ima have to shut they asses up to the count of ten then bury them niggas 6 feet in Cuz everybody lies Everybody think they the nigga with the clear blue eyes They say death to a nigga that states on the other side They manipulate then smile wide These niggas days is ova Cuz ima tear their raw hide So violently a nigga gon stand there wide eyed Look through the white soulless eyes Welcome yo muthaf*ckin demise Let me see the evil flee your eyes Your fall brings about my rise One door closes another opens wide So come and get it there’s no point in tryna hide Pick a side Live Or die Looking for feedback on these lyrics. What do you guys think? Spent a bit of time on this one and it has personal relevance.