Donna

Dear All, Was given a reminder...to cease for a time thinking about the next step or long road ahead for Dylan; but rather to thank God that he has been brought out of critical condition...brought to this next phase. Trouble with a capital T can force one to have an open mind. "I will take the bread of salvation...what can I render to the Lord for all He has given me? I will take the chalice of salvation, and call upon the name of the Lord. *Praising*, I will call upon Him and I shall be saved from my enemies." At the least, worry is the enemy of one's serenity! I forgot how much Our Lord loves to be thanked. This will be a good place to rest for a time...even for an hour. I forgot that the state of thanksgiving itself will draw grace down to help sort out the next steps. That can sound crazy even to believers, but it's true. + + + + + + + + + Today I will bring perky Genevieve (5) and Damien (4) to visit Dylan. It will be good for all of us! Dylan is being brought to move and get up each day. The amazement he had upon his first walk 30 feet with no assistance other than nurse handling IV, was something. He continues to be meek, sweet, grateful and patient thru his trials. The hope is that moving will make him hungry as well. 2 days ago he'd eaten his first thing since July 3rd. Yesterday midday he drank almost an entire yogurt smoothie, plus had ice cream (woo hoo!) He also did try to eat a few spoonfuls yesterday eve...all to the backround of The Godfather (2 days ago: pesto-pasta bite /peasant bread), and last eve, Godfather II (lemon ice/peasant bread). Which we enjoyed the ethnic symmetry of. There's a couch in his room parallel to his bed, and I pull down this little bedrail, which is the length from head to torso - so we can see each other by simply turning head to side, as each lays on our own perch. I've come to be able to read what he needs in this way, w/ a turn of the head...I, too, can get my rest in this position. Everytime the bed piece is removed I say, "now I'm in solidarity with you." I've never figured out how to put the rail back up again, but so far he hasn't fallen out of bed. The fevers continue...a CAT scan was done to check if empyema had returned, but all seems normal. Respiration therapy...nebulizer to open airways...a lung exercize apparatus in the form of a game, complete with scores and child pictures, which he thinks is neat. Someone (?) dropped off a stuffed dog back in ICU time, which he really likes (still a boy!) As well as the mail and visits. Morphine reintroduced, then dropped again in favor of viko something-or-other...he seemed disoriented last night, but dropped off peacefully. Much pain in the back...so it shall be coughing for 6 weeks now + the inflammation (pluerisy) and etc; ...per most recent report from the pulminary specialist, directly to Dylan himself: 6 weeks to clear crud from lungs, 6 months to get feeling strong, a year to feel like he did prior to sickness. He has been understandly sobered by this news, as have his friends (whom I admire and respect for their devotion and support of both him, me, and the family!) Thank you all so much for being with Dylan and us via these communications and by your assisitance, thoughts, messages, prayers. Hugs, Donna

Hi Everyone, Very good news: Dylan's breathing tube was removed today. So far so good, he's strong enough breathing on his own. The lung Xray of today showed marked improvement from yesterday's (saw it with my own eyes). The nutrition tube remains. Allowed one or two sips of water about every hour. It was something to walk into the room, him awake and greeting me. One thing I did was to show him the date of today's newspaper, slowly pointing out that he'd been asleep since July 3rd. It will take time for him to understand; more so because he's now going through withdrawal from morphine and versed which are heavy narcotics. They're doing a good job keeping him comfortable - methadone is an option to combat some effects of withdrawal, but cannot remove we are told, all jitters and hallucinations. (It's hard...yet he is sweet and longsuffering thru all). We are told it could take three to seven days for him to really connect with reality. The PT person was wonderful; while with him, she did proably 95% of the work of the most cursory movements, w/ each of his limbs. So kind & patient while getting the job done. She told him to close his eyes when one awful vision appeared; she "blocked" with her own body another, when it appeared. They will try to get him sitting a bit tomorrow. Nothing saps the strength (Dr. Hahn said) like lying in bed asleep for 8 days. Deo Gratias...for solid strides, And for all of you. Donna

Dear All, Cards or letters would be most appreciated by Dylan, I'm sure! He's 17 years old. It's safe to say he should be in hospital another 2 weeks. As some of you are overseas, or should others delays prevent you, no worries because whatever is sent will be forwarded to him. Whatever is in any of your hearts to do - or not do - is surely the right thing to do. ~Children's Hospital c/o Dylan Fellows - PICU St. Paul, MN, 55102 USA Those who haven't met Dylan (or any of us!), I'm sure he'd appreciate knowing how you are connected to his parents or siblings. Thanks a bunch, Donna PS: he's holding steady, not up high to the next point where we want him to be, but not worse. We expect him to remain intubated and on the ventilator for several days yet.

Dear Friends and Family, We appreciate your understanding of not being able to reply much, esp. by phone right now. We remain very grateful for your support and prayers. After this update, our expectation is that updates will be less frequent...in a word, yes, he's getting a little better generally each day. Yet it is slow. Moving foward by the favor of your kindness, Donna and ____ ......................... SATURDAY JULY 7 ~8:30 am~ Dylan "woke up" for the first time. He was coughing (yay!) and fighting [ ] the breathing tube. Eyes remained closed the entire time, yet he could respond by shaking or nodding head to Nurse Laura. It'd been a long 3 days of no response whatsoever (tho that was the goal and plan). I told him I was there... and praised him for his very hard work, his great fighting; how loved he is, how proud of him we all are, that everyone is rooting for him. Then the morphine was immediately bumped up and he mercifully fell back asleep. The goal of that day, to keep him sleeping so more rest for his poor lungs while simultaneously adjusting the oxygen mode so that he's doing more breathing on his own. Dylan has been on 3 "modes" of oxygen reception now, this 3rd is the best yet, set to respond to his very own breaths. The last 3 shifts of nurses have all said he's a strong, healthy boy as regards fighting this. He woke some on his own that day, fighting the tube once. He was able to respond to (nurse) Laura's simple commands and opened his eyes for the first time. ~evening~ There was a first tonight: it was easy to recognize almost at once when he became restful. So peaceful that I ditched the thought of any further music, reading to him or speaking to him, even to say goodnight. I simply withdrew my hand and tiptoed out as to not "wake" him. Having never seen anyone for prolonged period under these conditions, couldn't help but note that for some reason I was discerning a natural kind of sleep - tho of course I'd seen nothing but sleep for over 3 days. For the first time since surgery I felt serene and sure in leaving him at night - on his schedule, not because it was time for me to get my own rest. SUNDAY JULY 8 ~6:00 am~ He'd been fighting the tube. morphine increased quite a bit. He's strong and wiley a fighter the (2nd) nurse says. Another first, both she and the resp. therapist say his lungs are beg. to sound like they should. ~10:30 am~ Dr. Hahn gives the plan for the day: he wants him sleeping, no weaning down of oxygen today whatsoever. They want to hold steady as is and give him a day's break. The dopamine is reintroduced; the fevers are still going, another chest sucretion has been taken for culture; a 3rd antibiotic is introduced. ~afternoon~ After consulation w/ med staff and family, I bring Anna (12), Melanie ( and Mary (7) to Children's. We have a quiet, specific talk before leaving home about what to expect - beg. w/ the "Child Life" staff who will speak to them before they see their brother. It's a long process...we get acclimated to the hospital: seeing the outdoor fountain/gardens as they wish; going to the playroom where they play a good half hour. They meet Stephanie, she speaks to them, she brings in an IV bag and her craft kit so they can make cards or crafts if they wish. She thinks it'd be best for M & M to see a pic of Dylan before they go in. She gets a polaroid, talks to them individually. Another volunteer sits w/ the children in the playroom and Stephanie and I first take Anna in, then the younger girls together. Steph also leaves me with each child, alone, to hold them and kind of process the situation. They then wanted to make cards for Dylan, which they did. Mel made him a necklace. Lastly, they wanted to see the on site apartment I've been spending the nights at; now they know where I am, and why I am there. It was time to do this. Afterward, we went for food at a fantastic Italian deli and restaurant (big thanks to ___________ for turning us on to Cosetta's). Donna .............. PS: I told Dylan today that, incredibly, he was in total charge of what was happening, his body and mind response. That we were following his lead. As soon as he can get the strength to show us on his own that he can breath, out comes the tube. That I'm sorry, it's most unfair...but there it is, son, Godspeed, we'll help you any way we can.

I am sorry for having no word but for our Dylan. I find myself doing things that (were I not going thru this) I'd consider outrageous. I began taking pictures of him...he's already lost three days, I think. What if he needed to know what had happened? Well, there was a way for him to know (the thought came)...I just asked the nurse for a camera, and the camera appeared. Today I found out that for PICU families there is internet and food, and digital cameras + all sorts of media available gratis. I keep writing because all I can think is I need a witness. For him...that's all, man. I need a witness. I am so freaked that he will be conscious while tube is there....soon I go again to spend the night. This is a copy of the update I sent this eve - of course to all here reading as well. -Donna ............................ Dear All, We are humbled and so grateful for your prayers and support. The news is better, yet hard. Dylan is in his 3rd day in the Pediatric ICU. The PICU doctors said that he'd "turned a corner" yesterday, July 5. MD's are hoping for continued improvement, but expect this will be slow. It is still day by day as to whether the breathing tube will be taken out. As of noon today he was on 40% oxygen. They are turning down the pressure ever so slowly, confirming blood gas levels, and if stable, keeping him there for hours more, then deciding if a little more can be turned down and the whole process repeated. The suctioning of chest secretions continues every 2-3 hours (as of noon today). The tube draining matter from Dylan's chest is to be removed very soon, this day yet if possible. Which is good, but that means the next step: to take him off the paralytic drugs. In addition to full sedation and pain control (morphine), they've kept him paralyzed literally. Once these paralytic drugs are removed he will be able to wake up, albeit quite disorientated, but still knowing the tube is there - because the breathing tube must remain (we heard "Sunday" for possible removal). It was frightening to find out that he'll be conscious in some manner while the br. tube remains. OTOH once he is not paralyzed, his own cough production will be more effacacious re: secretions than will be suctioning. And other good things. One of the BP meds has been removed (epi) and the dopamine they are weaning him off of. All good! But it's confirmed the pneumonia is in both lungs. Particularly sobering was current PICU doctor telling us today that recovery prognosis at this point is in terms of "weeks and months...perhaps a year before he's fully" restored. "I would love him to prove me wrong!" Dr. Hahn added. ~Again, your support is everything to us right now. Gratefully, Donna and _____

Dylan is recovering from surgery due to pleurisy and the empyema. He is fully unconscious and sedated, with a breathing tube. Hell, with many tubes. The Children's Hospital have given us parents a key to an apartment onsite where we can sleep, cook, shower, even do laundry. This is available until he's out of intensive care. Please pray for him, as he's a very sick boy.

He'll be OK (or should be), but Dylan was taken by ambulance yesterday back to the ER. The fevers have been spiking past 104 and all symptoms even worse then before. Which I didn't know, as he'd gone back to the flat (they've no phone, only the phone of certain friends). To their great credit, his friends'd been working to get his fevers down, and no one leaving him alone. It sounds like he worsened quickly and progressively in a 24 hour or so period. I don't know how one of his friends got him down the stairs and outside the flat (I would've never counseled to move him), but that was the scene that greeted me, on the doorstep. I called for the ambulance, he was just a wreck, and had lost his voice and couldn't sit up and was shaking and burning and hacking. The friend went w/ me to hospital where we spent 8 hours. Now he's in a children's hospital, which is turning out so far to be a better thing. He has empyema, a fluid infection outside the lung. Depending on the consistency of that fluid the procedure to drain it is determined. In Dylan's case surgery is required. The ER doc seemed good...I saw the pneumonia via x-ray and the empyema. The lab for mono's being re-run. ER doctor said the emp. explains all the fever, sweats, shakes, fatigue, pain, disorientation and terrible cough. He is just sooo sick. And being pretty darn sweet about it.

Sounds good, John. Always nice to hear how others work. Esp. nice to see you back recording and enjoying yourself. All the best! + Cheers~ Donna

My sympathies! -a fellow midwesterner- PS: aloe is awesome! Good wife there

....an exhausting time. Dylan has returned to his life and new home. He def. is in much better shape, tho not recovered (unless I am mistaken). He was well enough to balk at being overcared for - we shall see how things go. It's a miracle, really, these antibiotics (in particular). For days you're too weak to get out of bed, and then you're not. Now I am the one who needs recovering! Never had a child that sick - it has drained me, which I feel + deal with, mostly after the fact. Here's hoping everyone and everything get back to normal.

Hi Rudi, No, Dylan hasn't left the house since the hospital, so he didn't see the fireworks.

Dylan was the best yet yesterday. But cautious about it, seems to alternate between improvement and the sickness, probably the nature of things. Or, that the good days too much is done and so back into the hole somewhat the day following. But I'm so glad for yesterday! We were even getting on each other's nerves. A good sign! No doubt the strong antibiotic is taking hold. He's also been being given the Xango juice 1 0z, 3 x's daily. Plus excellent food, electrolytes. Gotta wonder, too, the night before his best day, applied liberally a pretty strong herbal rub over entire back. The burning/freezing kind, which was no fun for him, but it had to have helped clear the lungs, at the least. His cough sounds a 100 times better. I know you all are sending good thoughts or prayers. It's helping.

Not yet. My world is suspended time being. -D-

I stumbled into the little chapel - where the other choir is, led by Mr. (not Dr.) K. Oh joy, High Mass! Often it is suspened for the summer for its length + the seasonal heat. I welcomed it thirstily. I'd never seen the propers. We did everything acapella and I required no warm up. I was wishing so bad I knew the chant inflections perfectly. I tried to recall the monks...how they carry song beautifully but indistinctly, no one voice standing out. It won't work here, tho. I try anyway to climb into the prayers sung. My 17 yr old choir friend/mentor was there - the one who'd said, "my goal is to never have any air in my voice." The one who said, "Singing is 75% psychological. I aim for a spot with my voice, far away," and points to a place hundreds of feet from her. I took her counsel from that day and have never looked back. There are high notes, mostly G's, in the Credo and Sanctus of Mass XVIII (18). I root my feet, sinking my being beneath the floor like a tree, going low to accomplish them. It's always a tense moment, because the soprano's are timid and sort of whisper the highest notes out. This is not acceptable, and unfair to the liturgy and the people. I have no scruple about standing out at these times, the director is commanding, the music is written, do it! But it's harder singing w/ this choir, they hold back consistently, save for certain hymns done in 4-part. Standing next to me was the woman who taught me via example, to sing alto. I still tend to sing a M. third down from written notes which can result in the dreaded parallel fifths! It was comforting, once again, to lean upon her unerring delivery.

Dylan has been sick with mono(nucleosis) and pneumonia.

Mon Capitaine, Having a hard time understanding the quetion...is this an analysis query? As in, look at your lyric sheets, one by one, to find the commonalities and etc;?

A lovely summer evening, it'd cooled a bit from the 90+ high humidity. ______ and I sat outside w/ tobbacco's, O doul's and dark chocolates. I listened to _____ speak about the Am. Civil War and asked questions. I played outside after chat. A. (12) and M. (eight) were at the table with me. I put the axe away for awhile and we laughed about the other eve, when M. came up to me, very late: I hissed, "What?!" (I begin hissing after about 10:00 pm when they want me - 14 hours is enough I think!) She was all big eyes and not intimidated. "Mom," she said in a low voice, "Posh Nosh was on." Giggle. "We saw it, yeah, it was really funny." I sat to attention, "I'm jealous!" Anyway, they talked again about Posh Nosh and were looking for Orion's Belt in the sky as it got dark. M. was feverishly working on something with her markers. A. went down the hill to retreive her paper airplane (admirable flights!), and M. all wide eyed again, and in her robe, announced: "I'm finishing a comic called Coo Koo Cats for you, Mommy. And I want you to look at it." I put away the guitar and we studied the page in the outdoor lights. No words, but about 6 panels, roughly. 1st - a cat on floor looking up at microwave 2nd - kitty's now in the microwave (door open) 3rd - kitty being mic'd 4th - kitty beginning to blow up 5th - kitty in a mad fight with another cat (it's unclear to me if this 2nd cat turned on the mic in the 1st place, but due to evening, I may've missed seeing 2nd kitty back in panel two or 3). 6th - both kitties sleeping heavily...1st kitty has very long sharp claw extended from outstretched "arm" "They got tired from fighting, so they went to sleep," M. explained. "But the one cat is ready - see her claw?- yeah, she's ready to fight as soon as they wake." I laughed and admired her full color comic. "I think you should put it in your guitar case," M. suggested. What a fantastic idea. So there it is.

So looks like 1) amp plugged in (to AC) 2) volumes down (amp/instrument) 3) 1/4 cable to amp 4) then to guitar 5) turn on/volumes up (Roughly) t/y (cocktail emoticon)

Thanks Rudi!

i miss you, Dylan

Thoughtful, t/y. I will look at your diagram...but right now I must say Happy Birthday to Steve!

Getting happy with this one. It's basically a bass riff. Before I finished writing the song, it was mainly on one string, either low E or A. The whole thing. One day I said I just gotta finish this. What it lacked was a chorus and I was fine with that also being a bassline. But it's chords instead. Same ol chords, yet they fit just right. There's chords also on the bridge. The bridge lyric refers to M. & m. coming home one day with lice, right when I was feverishly trying to record Last Train for the Songstuff Christmas contest, on a deadline. That really threw me off. I am trying to do something w/ the right hand to pick up more sound during the last verse one-string-bassline. I play always w/ a pick, but by mistake sometimes the right hand fingers pick up "grace notes" strumming of the strings. Had lotsa these kind of accidents playing drums and esp. keyboards! Always grateful for them. I think progress and nuance gets born and developed in such a way.

4 yr old D. 5 yr old G. ~ and myself were driving this pristine day to pick up one of their flu-ish siblings, from school. G. was popping - her little world is opening up: "I'm happy, I like this day! I like the world, I belong to it!" Sho nuff! That's the way it should be! We 3 were whistling dixie, grand ol day. We pull into the school lot and approach the doors. They are all locked. "Hmmm, why're they locked?" we all wonder. I begin banging on the doors, having spied an adult thru the glass. Thick glass, too, because we both must shout, once she gets about one foot away from us. "I can't let you in!" "Why not!" "Because we're in a lock-down!" Lockdown? "Well, I have a very sick child in there, what'm I supposed to do!" [This was Dylan...this comment inserted July 22] So we decided to drop off G. at her school readiness freakout initiation in the meantime, til lockdown was over. While leaving the thick-glass doors, I looked straight up to the bluest sky ~ same sky ~ same sun ~ same deliciousness But altered and didn't even know what to say to God. I am not that old! But lockdowns, there was no need for 'em such a short time ago. I had not come face-to-face w/ them before. G. skipped off with her new teacher once we got her settled there. I approached the in-charge office patron. "Do you practice, er, lockdowns?" "Oh yes," she said seriously. .................................................. Dear G, Belong in the world, honey, not to it. Cause you don't know where it's gonna go. It shouldn't go the way of lockdowns. Everything in this day and sky begs against it. I don't know why what shouldn't be, is. But it is. Love, Mama

Seen guitarists do it a thousand times...but never noticed, which should be plugged in first, amp to guitar or vice versa? When should the amp be turned on during this to avoid pops and kahrannnggzzz?

Beers again for you, big guy!