Cool Metaphors

[ames1212]

My mind became hard like steel as the washing of memroies fled from my tired mind. I was back to a much better day and time.

star N.

blazed V.

silently A

[john]

Silently awed, I worshipped as she sparked and sparkled

A rising star, she blazed, dangerous and blinding. Beautiful.

 

Tears N

Washed V

Pale A

[ames1212]

She sat and cried by a pale of washed up tears, drowning in the heartbreak of her broken love.

[TPistilli]

Dark Roots Breathe

 

The hope that you breathe in me

Erasing that dark memory

Your words are the roots that help me stand

[ames1212]

I loved that, it would be a great lyric for a song.

 

smooth

Autumn

torture.

[TPistilli]

Tears Washed Pale 

 

Forgiving tears have washed my shame

And even made that guilty stain go pale.

[TPistilli]

this is a very good exercise.  I can tell I need to work at stretching my imagination.

[ames1212]

That is a good one! But you were suppose to use the words I left for you, then leave three words for the next person.<lol.

[TPistilli]

Oh, duh...I didn't pay attention to the rules (that's what my teachers used to say)...I just hopped in with my 2 cents....lol.

[TPistilli]

Anger

Pouring

Sweet

[TPistilli]

smooth

Autumn

torture.

 

The Autumn grass, smooth and green

With clovers full of honey bees

A torture when you step with your bare feet

[TPistilli]

I thought this would be a fun thread to challenge each other to come up with some cool Metaphors to make our lyrics jump out. Some songs are beautifully written but lack a creative flair. Several songs that are popular right now have these crazy metaphors that may not make sense spoken, but sound wonderful in a song. An Example Would be Miley Cyrus and Wrecking Ball, the opening lyrics of her song say: We clawed, we chained, we loved in Vain, and the chorus says I came in Like a wrecking ball, I never hit so hard in love. ( These are from her published work and are for reference only). They make a very interesting song. Another example is Cassidy Pope's Song, The Lyrics say I tried to find you in the bottom of a bottle lying cold on the bathroom floor. It may not make sense in a conversation but in a song it is a beautiful collision of words.

  I am reading a lyric writing book by Pat Pattinson, In the chapter I am referring to he suggest taking three different words, one adjective, one noun and one verb that do not go together and put them together to make a cool metaphor. You may have to try a few times to get it. Then add a sentence that will rhyme or go with it. Don't worry about editing for a lyric yet, just have fun with it. So I thought it would be fun to create a word game that the next person who post can use the words and make sentence with them. Then add another sentence that rhymes.

 

 

 

Rules: Take the three words that were left for you and make a sentence using metaphors and a play on words to make them work. Then write a sentence that rhymes at the end. Then you will leave an adjective, noun and a verb for the next person.Then they will do the same. It will be a fun way to come up with new and creative lyrics.

 

 

 

 

The first person's word will be:

 

Adjective- smoky    Noun- eyebrows  Verb- talk

 

 

Have Fun and be creative.        

I read that book by Pat Pattison and it was invaluable!

[Pahchisme Plaid]

His eyebows bounced at her smokey dance as she moved across the floor.  No need for talk, only that they walk and they were walking out the door.

 

Aloe, brazen, smother

 

 

[Richard Tracey]

Brazen in this life to go further

Like the Aloe, I like to smother

 

I hope I have taken smother the correct way and it's not one of the situations where the Americans remove an 'o' from a word

 

Touching (A)

Gold (N)

Waste (V)

 

R

[Pahchisme Plaid]

1 hour ago, Richard Tracey said:

Brazen in this life to go further

Like the Aloe, I like to smother

 

I hope I have taken smother the correct way and it's not one of the situations where the Americans remove an 'o' from a word

 

Touching (A)

Gold (N)

Waste (V)

 

R

You got it right, Richard

[Sreyashi Mukherjee]

This looks hard.. but it's an interesting challenge. Don't know if I'll be following the correct format of metaphors, but I'll give it a try  

 

A life of gold traded for one of haste

By a true seeker who wouldn’t waste

A single moment drenched in disillusionment

Save for a few touching memories of entanglement

 

N - Flavour

V – Trudge

A - Plentiful

[Pahchisme Plaid]

The stars in your eyes are plentiful 

Your flavor is delicious

I trudge through days without you and empty nights are vicious.

 

bubble 

wobble

diabolical

[Pahchisme Plaid]

Lets see....April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November....I'm changing the N/V/A.  I like the metaphor challenge and the last one posted (by me) seems to have halted the action, so here goes with a new N/V/A

 

N - power lines

V - acquiesce

A - distant

[ames1212]

On 3/6/2014 at 11:46 AM, Avit Hammer said:

He drove with no shoes

In the searing heat

He didn't win

But was gracious in de feet

 

 

n whale 

v scratch

a timid

Very nice! I will post one later, off to work, but thanks for keeping this going.