Lyrics Writing Challenge #10 - Abstract Lyrics

[john]

Hi Gang

 

Historically, writing abstract has been amongst the hardest of tasks for many members... but it is rewarding. This should be an interesting and hopefully illuminating challenge. 

 

The challenge is to write some abstract lyrics that still manage to convey emotion and a thread of storyline inspired by recent news. Please include a link to the news item. 

 

Your challenge does not stop there...

 

To write the lyrics you should use one or both of either cut-up technique or fold-in technique.

 

David Bowie has used cut-ups since the early 70s and the technique influenced the songwriting of Kurt Cobain. Thom Yorke used a similar method in Radiohead's "Kid A" album. They wrote single lines, put them into a hat, and drew them out randomly while the band rehearsed. 

 

Cut-up - Take a finished, totally linear text and cut it into pieces with a few or single words on each bit. An easy way being a print out for a more tactile experience, or use post-it sticky notes. The resulting bits are then rearranged into new text. Picking a suitable piece of text can take a little effort but that effort is worthwhile.

 

Fold-in - Take two pages of linear text (same linespacing), fold each page in half vertically and combine each with the other, then read across the combined page.

 

Now edit to improve the flow and intergrity of the lyrics, taking the output of the stage above and smoothing out the bumps into a cohesive set of lyrics. 

 

 

 

Tell us what technique you used, and what original text you used for the cut-up or fold-in. You are not limited to one piece of source text though for complimentary flavours you may find the same source writer works best.

 

Cut-up gives better results, in my opinion.  I think it is far more satisfying for the writers. Feel free to try both for experience.

 

In many ways this is simply fuel for your imaginations, but it can also encourage you to use vocabulary and phrasing out with your norm and to express something using creative use of imagery originally purposes for something else.

 

To recap:

 

1. Abstract lyrics
2. Written with cut-up and/or fold-in techniques
3. Has to be emotive
4. Has to be inspired by a newsworthy story

 

This does not need to be a long exercise. Far from it, however you will likely find it takes a little longer if it is your first ever cut-up or fold in.

 

In every case I have seen writers try this they have been pleasantly surprised with the results. This  is all about challenges, so please try this.

 

I hope you enjoy both the journey and the destination!

 

Cheers

 

John

[Pahchisme Plaid]

I think I'd like to try this thing.  I printed my article and have the scissors handy, but still not sure of some things.  

 

Is the whole song song supposed to be comprised of the cut ups or just the chorus or refrain?

 

Does any part of it have to make sense?

 

Does the essence of the article have to be the focus.  I mean will there be a recognizable theme and  does that theme have to point to the article or will it seem something completely different?

[john]

The whole song, though it is up to you. The idea is that the process inspires you to make choices you wouldn't normally make, use language and phrasing that breaks your norms.

 

You don't need to use the article as the source text. You are telling a story inspired by the news, using text you get elsewhere.

 

So, for example, you could try to re-tell the story of a local man convicted of murder several people, using "Of Mice and Men" page 1 as the source text.

 

Here's some source text from the first page:

 

"A few miles south of Soledad, the Salinas River drops in close to the hillside bank and runs deep and green. The water is warm too, for it has slipped twinkling over the yellow sands in the sunlight before reaching the narrow pool. On one side of the river the golden foothill slopes curve up to the strong and rocky Gabilan Mountains, but on the valley side the water is lined with trees - willows fresh and green with every spring, carrying in their lower leaf junctures the debris of the winter's flooding; and sycamores with mottled, white, recumbent limbs and branches that arch over the pool. On the sandy bank under the trees the leaves lie deep and so crisp that a lizard makes a great skittering if he runs among them. Rabbits come out of the brush to sit on the sand in the evening, and the damp flats are covered with the night tracks of 'coons, and with the spread pads of dogs from the ranches, and with the split-wedge tracks of deer that come to drink in the dark.

 

There is a path through the willows and among the sycamores, a path beaten hard by boys coming down from the ranches to swim in the deep pool, and beaten hard by tramps who come wearily down from the highway in the evening to jungle- up near water. In front of the low horizontal limb of a giant sycamore there is an ash pile made by many fires; the limb is worn smooth by men who have sat on it.

 

Evening of a hot day started the little wind to moving among the leaves. The shade climbed up the hills toward the top. On the sand banks the rabbits sat as quietly as little gray sculptured stones. And then from the direction of the state highway came the sound of footsteps on crisp sycamore leaves. The rabbits hurried noiselessly for cover. A stilted heron labored up into the air and pounded down river. For a moment the place was lifeless, and then two men emerged from the path and came into the opening by the green pool.

 

They had walked in single file down the path, and even in the open one stayed behind the other. Both were dressed in denim trousers and in denim coats with brass buttons. Both wore black, shapeless hats and both carried tight blanket rolls slung over their shoulders. The first man was small and quick, dark of face, with restless eyes and sharp, strong features. Every part of him was defined: small, strong hands, slender arms, a thin and bony nose. Behind him walked his opposite, a huge man, shapeless of face, with large, pale eyes, and wide, sloping shoulders; and he walked heavily, dragging his feet a little, the way a bear drags his paws. His arms did not swing at his sides, but hung loosely.

 

The first man stopped short in the clearing, and the follower nearly ran over him. He took off his hat and wiped the sweat-band with his forefinger and snapped the moisture off. His huge companion dropped his blankets and flung himself down and drank from the surface of the green pool; drank with long gulps, snorting into the water like a horse. The small man stepped nervously beside him."

 

 

 

So in reading that text you might decide to refer to the murderer as "the lizard" and his victims as "rabbits". You can add joining words, "the","and" etc.... enough that you get flow to the work. As you are telling a story it should make sense, of a sort... but it is not literal, it is an abstract.

 

We could have a first verse that refers to the place where the murderer dumped the bodies:

 

"The lizard makes a skittering dragging his feet

like bear paws moving among the leaves

The rabbits sat quietly: the place was lifeless

Mottled, white, recumbant limbs under the trees"

 

No you could pick a better source text, with more interesting imagery... in this case I simply picked a book from memory, randomly picked the first page.... then started cutting up the text in my head... assigning characters from the story I wanted to tell a creature fro the source text. Sometimes you might only use a word or a few words. Try to avoid using whole sentences! lol

 

Make sense?

 

[Pahchisme Plaid]

I totally misunderstood, but I had fun arranging the word strips into a futuresque storyline.  Check it out!  

[john]

Not so far off. It is the essence of true cut up, to actually cut it up and re-arrange it

[john]

Anyone else trying this? I know it isn't exactly your most intuitive method of writing, and it probably feels a little alien, but it does get some very interesting results.

[Pahchisme Plaid]

@johnI think you figured out that I used the news article as my cut up.  I think I understand now what you mean, now I just have to find an inspiring story to match to a source.

 

After reading your example above, I happened to pick up the book, Alice in Wonderland, and just started picking out some interesting word chunks and writing them on paper and a vague development of something else started swirling through my brain, disorganized, but there.  Not a news story though--just the imagery fit an idea well.  I flipped a few chapters, did the same and discovered another abstract connection.  It certainly got the creative juices flowing.  Unfortunately interrupted.  Hate when that happens!  I thin I'll be using this method lots!  

[john]

It is possible to do the write from almost any source text, however, that removes a major layer of control from the writer. 

 

From the original inspiring story, which outside of this challenge could be just in your head, I pick up the emotion of my perspective on the story, as an observer.  I might also do the same from the perspective of a main character within the inspiring story.... I get comfortable with the perspective. 

 

Then I try to think what kind of language I want to use, how colourful, how modern etc. I then use that to narrow down authors and titles to get a text. Sometimes I have done it from newspaper or magazine, though I tend to find the most indulgent and evocative language comes from novels and short stories.

[Timbre]

Thanks for further explanation. I think this just clicked for me. Will give it a try before it escapes me again.

[Timbre]

My inspiration was Hurricane Irma hitting my beloved Florida Keys and the conch house I grew up in on Southard Street in Key West. Both the Keys and conch houses are known to be resilient so that's at the heart of the lyric.

 

The text I used was from the first few pages of the book Possession by A. S. Byatt. My process was to choose words that had some weight to them, write them on sticky notes and then arrange them in short phrases that I could polish up or flesh out a bit. Not sure if this is allowed but a couple of words made it into the lyrics as related ideas rather than literally (i.e., clock became "telling time") when it made sense lyrically to do so. This came together shockingly fast (a couple of hours).  I had no clue when I started the process and I may not have done it exactly right, but now I am a believer!

 

Here's the list of words I used in case you can't read my sticky notes in pic below:

clock, chain, bandaged, alive, pre-adamite (i.e., before Adam! -fun, right?), spine, elastic mind, sunny window, bowed, floating, gold/treasure, exhumed, dust, civilized, living poets, shabby, neat bow, history, high green, edge of stain, marker, quest, creaking

 

Southard Street

Copyright © 2017 by L.C. Campbell

 

Verse 1

No neat bows or telling time

Shabby is her civilized

All who seek her treasure join the quest

 

Chorus 1

She’s bandaged but alive

Some say pre-adamite

Bowed spine her savior

Mile marker in my mind

 

Verse 2

Living poets love her mystery

Exhumed and creaking history

Queen of the island chain floating west

 

Chorus 2

She’s bandaged but alive

Some say pre-adamite

Bowed spine her savior

Elastic in my mind

 

Verse 3

High green vines have disappeared

Ocean’s stain full of tears

All that’s really washed away is the dust

 

Chorus 3

She’s bandaged but alive

Some say pre-adamite

Bowed spine her savior

Sunny window in my mind

 

 

She’s bandaged but alive

Some say pre-adamite

Bowed spine her savior

Mile marker in my mind

[Pahchisme Plaid]

This came out really cool.  If I hadn't read your notes, though, i would never have tied this to what inspired you, though with having that info, I can see it in the phrases.  Trying to imagine where my mind would go without that info., I would think it about a person who is aged and has experienced hardships.

[Timbre]

Totally agree! A region and a house that have weathered storms  works well as a metaphor for a woman who has weathered the storms of life. The "she" was important in developing the lyrics because I'm still tied to town and the house I grew up in, sort of like a mother figure. 

 

Are you jumping into the challenge? ~T

[john]

Glad you like it Timbre. I find it one of the most effective at revealing just what I can do when I open my mind. Words I can get from a dictionary, short phrase I can create or borrow (if short enough) so that I am the conductor, the one who moods them to my story. The reader / listener is the one who makes sense of them. One of the joys of metaphor is where a listener applies it to their frame of reference and comes up with a meaning they identify with. This writing style is great for exploring abstract... and of course metaphor is a type of abstraction.

 

This is a great tool to get passed writer's block too.

[Timbre]

Anyone who's read my lyrics knows that I've never met a metaphor I didn't like! Very cool to learn another way to get there, especially when you're feeling blocked. ~T

[Pahchisme Plaid]

@Timbre,  I have been wanting to participate in this and got started with two separate ideas on two separate occasions, was interrupted in the flow of thought both times without the opportunity to get back to it--even through until now ...just haven't been home/settled enough to get back to it.  But I REALLY want to, having experienced how it gives a jumpstart of ideas and creative metaphors and open-to-interpretation abstract ideas! (Sorry to hear of the loss of those two special/memorable homes.  I hope restoration is possible).