arty

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About arty

  • Rank
    Sticky Member

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
    soundcloud.com/arty-redsocks

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Australia

Collaboration

  • Songwriting Collaboration
    Interested

Music Background

  • Musical Influences
    Everything that doesn't appear on top 40 charts from about 1990!
    From Paul Robeson to Pink Floyd to Cat Stevens to Kiss to words of the saints and decrees of the gods

Critique Preferences

  • Getting Critique
    Give It To Me Both Barrels

Recent Profile Visitors

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  1. You don't have to know if you don't catch them.... Just did a little editing and taking some liberties, HO HUM V1 He killed them all The teens in town left them laying on the ground Chorus Ho Hum Nothing but Ho Hum, another day Ho Hum Ho Hum Ho Hum V2 We chase him now With twelve blood hounds To hang his neck forever be damned Chorus Ho Hum Nothing but Ho Hum, another day Ho Hum Ho Hum Ho Hum Bridge Heard the devil's joke such morbid phrase His necrologue to support this case Chorus Ho Hum Nothing but Ho Hum, another day Ho Hum Ho Hum Ho Hum \ To do with as you please Arty
  2. Had the idea of the chorus on Sunday night but wanted a different lover before I started writing it out just now... Tails I'm Rambling Draft RogersonLB V1 Like paper cuts and rose thorns Can be the small things that hurt the most What strangers say is shampoo on a bald head PC but the acid tongue and actions of a loved one just sent me on my way again Chorus Far away see the tumble weed coming Feeling the soft dust rise up between my toes as I start walking down this unmade road I'm not a gambling man but when I flip this old worn coin Heads I going, tails I'm rambling V2 She wanted me to come back crossed her black heart and giving me her word to never go back to cheating on me again Chorus Far away see the tumble weed coming Feeling the soft dust rise up between my toes as I start walking down this unmade road I'm not a gambling man but when I flip this old worn coin Heads I going, tails I'm rambling Bridge Stuff this town and country who wont give anything back But when you don't treat all men as equal and look after their health Chorus Far away see the tumble weed coming Feeling the soft dust rise up between my toes as I start walking down this unmade road I'm not a gambling man but when I flip this old worn coin Heads I going, tails I'm rambling
  3. Barely Blue Draft RogersonLB V1 remember how I felt so cool strutting with the in crowd good as anyone there in school how these new jeans made me so proud Chorus That's a long time ago and there now Barely Blue Got those old well used faded 501's on Sure they're now a little worn front pocket hanging out and down both knees are gone Bring back memories of you, memories of you, Barely Blue Got those old well used faded 501's on , Barely Blue V2 We caught the bus to the shopping mall walking in the buzz I got then My ego getting a size too small You smiling and saying please buy them Chorus That's a long time ago and there now Barely Blue Got those old well used faded 501's on Sure they're now a little worn front pocket hanging out and down both knees are gone Bring back memories of you, memories of you, Barely Blue Got those old well used faded 501's on , Barely Blue Bridge You'd wrap you arms around me tucking your hands in round the back laugh and kiss me saying I love you lots Its why these pants are the fabric of my memories of you, Chorus That's a long time ago and there now Barely Blue Got those old well used faded 501's on Sure they're now a little worn front pocket hanging out and down both knees are gone Bring back memories of you, memories of you, Barely Blue Got those old well used faded 501's on , Barely Blue
  4. Grew up with Enid Blyton books such as the Magic Faraway Tree and the Wishing Chair... World of confusion Draft RogersonLB V1 Life was simple when I wore shorts like the flint-stones no one swore We watched our p's and q's and back door was always open then the world decided greed was good Chorus Feels like I've climbed the magic faraway tree landed upside down in the world of confusion where right and wrong and both the same hate and lust just a passing phase of decaying youth Feels like I've climbed the magic faraway tree landed upside down in the world of confusion V2 School was easy but times now changed lost our leaders while we seek fame TV and flogs with blogs taught us what we somehow needed and like good little soldiers agreed Chorus Feels like I've climbed the magic faraway tree landed upside down in the world of confusion where right and wrong and both the same hate and lust just a passing phase of decaying youth Feels like I've climbed the magic faraway tree landed upside down in the world of confusion
  5. Thanks for taking the time to comment Geir, it is much appreciated to get SOME feedback! This was actually inspired, if this is the right word, by a Friends episode where Ross had a one night stand whilst he was on a break with Rachel, and the discussion of the show was if this was alright or not - along with living at one time in a community of bashed wives who kept returning to what they perceived as loving relationships so had not actually thought about the unfaithfulness before but do agree, it is there - this is why critique is so important having others see what the writer is blind to, thank you again Regards Arty
  6. Neil Got it but not enough to roll a spliff with this one lol There is no movement / progress through the lyric, we get it early and it is basically repeated over and over. maybe a story board such as V1 - things have gotten bad and i need Chorus - Mary is my relief V2 - trying to break the habit find something else Chorus - Mary is my relief Bridge - accepting I have to put up with her forever Chorus - Mary is my relief Rhyme is an issue raised and in V1 and V2 would not rhyme at ALL including internally, rhyme the chorus and bridge certainly... Regards Arty
  7. Hi Leo think this starts off really strong but it suffers for me from the perspective of who is talking and to who. It is personal and direct address to the listener - lover? - but then especially in V2 and the lines are not especially bad or anything, but to me don't belong in a conversation addressing ME, that is I would be arguing if you spoke these lines to me on the phone lol Those stupid waves of , absent minded, We build our forts to, prove our strength, We spend hours, in those tranches, Basically I think you make it a conversation song, think Dr Hooks Sylvia's Mother where you are compassionately talking to her / US the listener and draw us into your world I've been stupid, but it because I'm scared of losing you I'm trying, changing, giving up my bad ways etc. Regards Arty
  8. Another of the ones from last Tuesday, this was written just after the tower song , sort had the pop theme going in my head suppose Straight Shooter Draft RogersonLB V1 Daddy was a loving man got injured in the war But nothing you could see at all one night had changed his life told me in a drunken haze was him or me, no right or wrong Chorus Straight Shooter he said, always be a Straight Shooter It lesson 1 to 10 always be a Straight Shooter Son wont need to tell you again It lesson 1 to 10 always be a Straight Shooter always be a Straight Shooter V2 later when I understood How someone can hurt all the while Still keep giving so much These words struck me so hard and true Better using words than firing guns Chorus Straight Shooter he said, always be a Straight Shooter It lesson 1 to 10 always be a Straight Shooter Son wont need to tell you again It lesson 1 to 10 always be a Straight Shooter always be a Straight Shooter Bridge So now not loading up six bullets Its the six strings I strum Chorus Straight Shooter he said, always be a Straight Shooter It lesson 1 to 10 always be a Straight Shooter Son wont need to tell you again It lesson 1 to 10 always be a Straight Shooter always be a Straight Shooter
  9. Always wanted to a cliche song where the fireworks and train motifs of the old movies were used, the story whilst not Pop 101 is certainly real for some friends I have had over the years.. Making Us One Draft RogersonLB V1 Sure I been around All those single nights Drinking out on the town Know some cannot bear to go home alone I wasn't like this till I met you Chorus IF I cant have a life with you Give me one more chance Have you wrapped around me making us one Till the fireworks explode and the train slowly goes If I cant have life with you Give me one more night Wrapped around me making us one V2 Now your saying It was only once Somehow you've gone back to him he's real sorry now and wont hit you again its history crime it will happen again Chorus IF I cant have a life with you Give me one more chance Have you wrapped around me making us one Till the fireworks explode and the train slowly goes If I cant have life with you Give me one more night Wrapped around me making us one
  10. Son sent me some ideas over from where he is in England chasing his musical dream - this was write of one his ideas which he is looking to put some music too over the next couple of days Potential Pure Potentially DRAFT Mitchell Bullen & RogersonLB V1 Are we fading here, under these lights Staring starry eyed into the silky night V2 Are we losing now, hoping they're wrong Some how forgetting no-one has ever won Chorus Maybe, its all we can ever be Potential, pure, potentially Never becoming real or a reality Potential, pure, potentially V3 Out here searching now, hoping for truth Peeling away dead layers of snake skin youth Chorus Maybe, its all we can ever be Potential, pure, potentially Never becoming real or a reality Potential, pure, potentially this is his soundcloud page
  11. the link to soundcloud is broken by the way
  12. Hi Leo really likes the branches and steel line, cooooool big disconnection with the use of the word "limiteless" something simpler to match the 7 and 10 motif such as "life had not limits back then" would for my mind work much better Regards Arty
  13. G'day NSJ took me a couple of reads to get into it but do like it and it feels sort of like a slow bass boom tish Nick Cave song. Arty PS don't see too many references to Radio Birdman on these types of forums!!!
  14. This was another of the ones written last Tuesday night Post Op - had been asked in Pre Op jokingly if I was possibly pregnant, to which my reply was well I did go out drinking last night and meet some bloke Gabriel - this is the song!! Pregnant Man Draft RogersonLB V1 I'm telling you this is God's truth it happened last week Saturday night just on six o'clock Amazing it now seems Now feels like I'm living unreal warped dream Chorus Been Getting Morning Sickness My pee turned the chick stick bright blue Bet your glad it's not happening to you Crazy Crazy I can become a Pregnant Man Crazy Crazy I can become a Pregnant Man V2 Was sitting right here at this bar When some guy sat down Reckoned he was some sort of angel Gabriel was his name yeah sure this was Gabriel the ark angel Chorus Been Getting Morning Sickness My pee turned the chick stick bright blue Bet your glad it's not happening to you Crazy Crazy I can become a Pregnant Man Crazy Crazy I can become a Pregnant Man Bridge Well I am just a little emotional right now With a strange desire to eat Vegemite and cow Chorus Been Getting Morning Sickness My pee turned the chick stick bright blue Bet your glad it's not happening to you Crazy Crazy I can become a Pregnant Man Crazy Crazy I can become a Pregnant Man
  15. Neptune As a read it is very good, but maybe there is just too much of it for a lyric to where it is for want of a better word, preachy, especially going to a third verse after the bridge. Brevity is difficult and as one very very verbose, one I have to come to grips with all the time lol as a case in point I have attempted to rewrite V1 down (don't think by the way, someone would know the look you adore) and kept it an unstable three lines V1 Some-one saw you with another girl Smiling like you did with me holding your hand pulling you in tight To do with as you please arty