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arty

Sticking Around
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About arty

  • Rank
    Sticky Member

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
    soundcloud.com/arty-redsocks

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Australia

Collaboration

  • Songwriting Collaboration
    Interested

Music Background

  • Musical Influences
    Everything that doesn't appear on top 40 charts from about 1990!
    From Paul Robeson to Pink Floyd to Cat Stevens to Kiss to words of the saints and decrees of the gods

Critique Preferences

  • Getting Critique
    Give It To Me Both Barrels

Recent Profile Visitors

762 profile views
  1. You're my rock, you are stone

    Hi Patty, thank you for taking the time to read and comment, it is appreciated. the change to stone was a considered one to point the nature of the relationship and then to sort of reinforce the the late night bars and drugs aspect as well, Arty
  2. This was written after watching one of the those BEST ALBUMS shows about the Fleetwood Mac Rumours album, Stevie and Lindsay along with John and Chrissie all going through break ups, great songs etc. get and watch it is amazing how they they did anything at all!!!!! So as an exercise, thought at time i would do a GO YOUR OWN SONG (we have broken up but I am alright with it and good wishes) whilst referencing all the aspects of the album show as well, i.e. location etc The original was written in 2014 and I have included it as well for reference - just didn't come up to music well and so kept dropping off the current work list (which at any time is about 15 - 30 songs I am editing or trying to get up to play) - there is an ad campaign at the moment for Isuzu trucks down here in Aus using go your own way which when viewed against the lyrics of the song is bizarre! this prompted me to re-look at the song. Did drop the go your own way line though lol You're my rock, You are Stone V2.3 RogersonLB Left stranded back in Sausalito Drunk and asleep on rodeo beach Waking up alone You'd left and gone Another heart then forever out of my reach You’re my rock, the one I built my life on Strong enough to weather storms alone To stand up and be someone Hope one day you hear this song You’re my rock, you are stone Don’t listen anymore to rumors They win as soon as they’ve been heard What went before Is now no more Truth it was more lust than relationship You’re my rock, the one I built my life on Strong enough to weather storms alone To stand up and be someone Hope one day you hear this song You’re my rock, you are stone Keep reading stories about you doing well Making me think about the late night bars and drugs Then laying talking wrapped in your arms after making love You’re my rock, the one I built my life on Strong enough to weather storms alone To stand up and be someone Hope one day you hear this song You’re my rock, you are stone Your my rock, my foundation Draft RogersonLB Left me stranded back in Sausalito High and dry on rodeo beach You just went, up and gone Your heart forever out of reach You’re my rock, my foundation The only who built me up enough to be someone Stung enough to weather any storm all alone You’re my rock, my foundation You’re my rock, my foundation I’ve stopped listening now to rumors Defeating as soon as they’re heard What ever comes? went before Go your own way follow your heart You’re my rock, my foundation The only who built me up enough to be someone Stung enough to weather any storm all alone You’re my rock, my foundation You’re my rock, my foundation
  3. Lord

    Thanks Leo, much appreciated First the second one first, it should read Seems I've always been scared about things I don't know So you were right!!!! to a degree... Second, the first point, Take your point re the third repeat of the line. I am wary of not revealing too early the 'story' hence the outro line after the last chorus. So the choice of this has to work for the child as well as the dying man - thinking then Lord what does my future hold Lord ????? mmmmm worth thinking about it will make all the difference! Thanks again Arty
  4. Lord

    This one is from last years 50-90 song challenge, it was done free form that being I played and sang and then wrote it down but only did one verse and the chorus, then wrote the second verse and the recording is this one take draft - it is sounding a little different but essentially the same with the new lines being almost prechorus --- This is the original lyric and draft record - Lord V1.0 RogersonLB When I was a child wasn't scared of the dark Just the things it could hide Pull up the blankets and hope and pray in the morning I'd still be alive seems your always scared about what you don’t know Chorus Lord I'm frightened Lord I'm frightened Lord of what my future holds Because Lord I'm frightened As I lean on this cold bluestone wall As the light shines through dark steel bars Can hear the click of boots on steel and concrete as the jailers are doing their rounds what tomorrow brings one thing I sure know Chorus Lord I'm frightened Lord I'm frightened Lord of what my future holds Because Lord I'm frightened Sure things have not worked out way I thought they would I know I aint been too good and when the floor falls away I'll hang... by my neck Chorus Lord I'm frightened Lord I'm frightened Lord of what my future holds Because Lord I'm frightened Lord I hope you can take my soul back into your fold
  5. still have some fight left

    Good writing going on here, good strong story but then a few little disconnections too- 1. You already established the poor part, so when it hit the first line in the chorus, ... Maybe - Some folks don't get no hand ups - folks like us we got no hand ups (Hand ups isn't a term I am familiar with by the way but understand what you are saying) 2. Line 4 in V2, practiced ? tough to sing and sort of a stunted word, maybe- shut the door and play and write songs again in V3 L1, suggest alone the lines of soon enough got to get up my own sound people seemed to like the tunes I sung Line 3 &4 V3 are repeating the last two lines of V2 and may even suggest going in with a half verse as above - reading it in now it works for me Just opinions neither write nor wrong! Arty
  6. Secret Message

    nice work to include the references, job well done
  7. Offline-Online

    Like the macabre writes, this one is extreme! More in Blupa's court though re taking it to the next level and putting melody to it
  8. Big Old Cowboy Boot

    Liked, the idea is novel, if taking it to 'Nashville' may suggest the following cull - just a bit too long for mine Big Old Cowboy Boot: V1 My sexy signorina From the sultry streets of Rome Said she loved my Country music They don't get it back at home V2 So we came to the decision That my band should take a tour Go show what they'd been missing And we couldn’t have asked for more (Ch) We got tons of adulation Man it really was a hoot Now Italians think of their nation As a big old cowboy boot V3 We played Honky Tonk and Bluegrass From Milan down to the heel Gave 'em slide guitar and banjos With a missionary zeal (Ch) We got tons of adulation Man it really was a hoot Now Italians think of their nation As a big old cowboy boot Bridge Now every gondolier boating up there in Venice Wants a rhinestone studded pole to follow suit (Ch) We got tons of adulation Man it really was a hoot Now Italians think of their nation As a big old cowboy boot
  9. BEFORE IT ENDS

    Made an edit to a couple of places Before it ends V1.0 RogersonLB V1 Trusts more important than lust Somehow this all got so lost. With her Making up lies to hide a ghost Chorus New serenade begins Starting with the squeal of a violin Seems lost souls in love got trapped in the sights Denying lying its not like you think In the moment before it ends New serenade begins Starts with the squeal of a violin In the moment before it ends V2 Forged steel and feeling of strength Knowing insides a piece of lead Ready to spew out fresh death Chorus New serenade begins Starting with the squeal of a violin Seems lost souls in love got trapped in the sights Denying lying its not like you think In the moment before it ends New serenade begins Starts with the squeal of a violin In the moment before it ends Bridge The shot tears then screams Wet mascara trembling red painted lips Chorus New serenade begins Starting with the squeal of a violin Seems lost souls in love got trapped in the sights Denying lying its not like you think In the moment before it ends New serenade begins Starts with the squeal of a violin In the moment before it ends
  10. BEFORE IT ENDS

    Thanks Philjo for taking the time to read and review, most certainly is a revenge epic, know i put in a reference to HER making the protagonist most likely male, but it could be HE which gives a nice twist to the bridge as it is her with the trembling lips holding the gun! re the bridge, it was deliberate to not Rhyme to bring a sense of disparity to the action Thanks again Arty
  11. The way you are

    Sorry to hear re the stroke, hope it goes well for you, just noticed in your profile you don't want critique - oppps, it wont happen again lol re rhymes matching I did not understand the context of 'I' being end perfect rhyme and for me music doesn't die, it is one of the few things in life that is not disposable, as with art it is made for prosperity, so therefore if love is music, it to goes on forever.
  12. BEFORE IT ENDS

    Before it ends Draft RogersonLB V1 Trusts more important than lust Somehow this all got so lost. (With her) Making up lies to hide a ghost Chorus New serenade begins Starts with the squeal of a violin Seems lost souls in love got trapped in the sights Dripping sipping trying to strip One last moment before it ends New serenade begins Starts with the squeal of a violin One last moment before it ends V2 Steel and the feeling of strength Knowing there's a piece of lead Ready to spew out fresh death Chorus New serenade begins Starts with the squeal of a violin Seems lost souls in love got trapped in the sights Dripping sipping trying to strip One last moment before it ends New serenade begins Starts with the squeal of a violin One last moment before it ends Bridge The shot, tears then screams Wet mascara trembling red painted lips Chorus New serenade begins Starts with the squeal of a violin Seems lost souls in love got trapped in the sights Dripping sipping trying to strip One last moment before it ends New serenade begins Starts with the squeal of a violin One last moment before it ends
  13. Barely Blue

    Thank you John and Orson for taking the time to review my lyric. As I haven't yet put melody to this one, will certainly take on the suggestion. Re off the topic - It is an interesting one, as a prolific writer and as a case in point on the day of the shoulder operation did write 20 songs, some of which were posted others not, so it is a relative thing as to what you call flooding. I do make sure I do more critique than posting but whilst some are putting every song they write up here, I would certainly not due to what would be then be a tsunami rather than minor flooding! Herein lies the problem, some want to just write others are wanting to get seriously better, therefore, feedback is vitally important and volume even more so. Look at any writer / performer who has been successful and as a case in point Bruce the Boss was reputed to write nearly 80 songs for the Nebraska album (one which has held back - Born in the USA) and it did well in Australia as an album but don't think it featured a Top 50 Hit (happen to like most of the album by the way) and featured only one song on his best of. The rub is, how do we know which songs work or not unless we get them out there? Personally I have a couple of songs that I didn't think were strong are some of my most requested and the best ones yawned at!!!! I am strong on many points when writing every song, namely the story board and attention to verses matching line for line (that is so when developing melody, the stresses of the verse lines match) but I as the writer am too close to really know if it works for 95% of the time, so even when edited by myself should I then have to wait for 50 posts before I can next post - let alone with the time difference down here in Aus and most participants. Should we consider having a serious board and occasional board for lyrics. Please do not think I am having a go at you, rather it is a perspective of writing a lot, and I mean lot of songs and still trying to respect the board. Regards Arty
  14. Got to

    ACtually enjoyed the listen, really liked the riff, got to got to get right,dah dah daa dahhh Not the sure the lyric of the verses are impacting on the chorus though. What is it exactly you have to get right. I dont mind obtuse but this for me this does not give a good indication of what the story may pertain too. Just my opinion neither right nor wrong Arty
  15. World Going Wrong

    Think I get your point, especially like the blood and heroin motif
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