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About this blog

I am what i am - i dont know what is it

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Punishement

Of being lonely, and Flirting just like that

I am lonely. I search for some connection to another person, but i dont admit to myself completelly that i really try to get close to feel understanding and acceptance, and care and all i need. But i dont try too much, to feel blame. I just flirt if i can, but i am telling to myself its just this and im not getting for the result... but it is like this: i do flirt, i dont intend to really get a gf, but i leave the space opened in case i could get something better than living lonely inside. 

Richard Watashi in Punishement

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Punishement

Lets see where im heading...

Wondering why i want to talk so much a to be heard. Im not sure what this time, but let me get there.    So i think the society is not right. You can see the classes and so on in every small or big group of people. These hierarchies seem to matters everything, but what if its not totally truth? Like the everything isnt perfect.    I f*ck it. Sorry. It doesnt even matter. 

Richard Watashi in Punishement

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Nothing I Would Know...

Nutshell

Been working on a track since morning till late and placed it here in the critique thread. I was really sure i am on a right track to have a potent material.    I didn't get high / or drank. I felt negativelly though. And tomorow i have to travel. And i hope i am hired since next Tuesday, however i am scared of the new job.   Now it is 23.05 - so >this was my day in a nutshell.
Nothing I Would Know...

I Know You Hate Me

Thank you for the lies. It is like a self defense mechanism . I lie to myelf sometimes, to not to see the hurtfull truth. YOu lie to me, that you dont hate me because you are just thinking it is a good/ or rather - the what the normality wants you to do. The problem is that you really hate me, and you want to hurt me only passively, so nobody can see it.   Or you know what ? it is all bullshit. I think i can throw this idea to thrash... no, i am lying. I cant shake it off my head
Nothing I Would Know...

Hello - I Am Not A Human...

I think i am partially a human being like you all, but not completely.   ...Sometimes, i swear, my feelings try to convince me i am a weird half-human...     > Maybe it is my self defence - trying to cover the truth - that i am a useless idiot that deserves to be punished for it's existence, and all the unfinished shit? I dont have the borders setted up, as you have. I have no controll. And  i just want to be happy, ok?  So let's f*cked it up, we are not enemies. And i thi

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