Lisa Gates
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Posts posted by Lisa Gates
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MazinMary, contrats! It's a great place to be.
Rudi, that song by Simon is my favorite too! He really hit it on that one!
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Kel, loved the Stairway Heaven version! Banjo is awesome!
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HA! I guess you have to be on your meds to know that "someone" is one word.
Hobo, good find!
John, can we? can we? add this to our smiley collection? let's take a vote.
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Making an album for my companion. No hip jump/ rap! She cherishes shake and will like pop. I as of recently have the evident Alice cooper, the slum column and Brian Adams. Any plans?
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Hi Steve, Thanks for your thoughts on this. I'm on Soundcloud too and will "folllow" you the next time I get on (probably later tongiht..I'm pathetically additcted to Songstuff and Soundcloud!)
As for Music Xray, Ihave found over the year that if one has a finished product of high quality that matches what they are looking for, you will get a response. Needless to say, I don't have the capability of finished products with hight quality and oh that little thing called money to invest in my "hobby"
Damn, damn, damn! I like most here, wish the music industry would be my full time job...
Steve, Welcome to Songstuff! There is a wealth of information here and a TON of great people. Just looking back at this post reminds me of how far I have come in the last year due to Songstuff.
If I can help you in any way, just hit me up with a PM!
Lisa
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Hey there AMDY,
First of all welcome to SS!
Second of all be sure to read our rules...
Third of all there is a huge collection of articles that may help you. This link brings you to one about bands but has a section in it about the business of promoting the bands music...you are the band, you are the music!
http://business.songstuff.com/article/5_tips_to_help_your_band_success/
Definitely take a look around the site at what others have posted too. I bet there are some posts that could help spark an idea or two.
I liked Voodoo!
Feel free to PM with any questions, I'll try to help!
Lisa -
Thanks Mike, I'll have to go home and play around!
Lisa
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Hope you had a great B-day!
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Sounds horribly intriguing! Maybe I'll be out of my funk by then....
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Great! I'm not ready to come back and contribute anything worthwhile to the group but for crying out loud! ALL day long all I hear is alliterations!
Pistol Pete the Policeman was in a story my husband told meLazy Sunday, lovely labrador was on my friends Facebook status (which a pic of the lab of course!)
Be right Back for Breakthrough songs ( show on my DishTV...)
I am not liking alliterations...they are everywhere!!!!
Good luck! Kick Lazy Larry's butt PLEASE
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Thanks! What a great gadget to have...
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Yea! We all did it! Awesome
John for my name: Lisa M. Guzda
Tanx
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As it happens, I heard the story of a young refugee on the radio. It was while driving home from work.
A young woman buried her 2 sisters and mother in just a few days on their journey.
The Dispossessed
V1
As a family we began
We walked each day as far we could
My sisters and mother so gentle and meek
I had buried them all in the space of a week
V2
Syria marches, and Syria is us
We are not some place on a chart
My family is gone, but I am not alone
But when will Allah bring his children home?
Pre-chorus:
The west don’t understand
They think we are themselves in the sand
chorus:
We walk away from violence
We are a family in every way
We walk towards the silence
But the family grows lesser every day
V3
Democracy has failed us all.
It looked good from a distance
But the will of the people is vain and shallow
Only the will of god is good enough to follow
Pre-chorus:
The west don’t understand
They think we are themselves in the sand
chorus:
We walk away from violence
We are a family in every way
We walk towards the silence
But the family grows lesser every day
Rudi
Outstanding, just about perfect. I think this challenge is done. Rudi has said it all...
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So far, Lisa, the song is very interesting, I felt like you took me on a journey, and I learned about the different places in Europe. Looking forward to more, I like your chorus, I think it's musical on it's own.
Goldy
I love these tags, what do you think Lisa? Art work always enhances anything!
AWESOME Tag! I'm laughing so hard! Yes, artwork enhances everything. The weekend is here and I can work on LYRICS! Amen!
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Kel, I just read your description again, I wrote the European tour, as memory, not up coming. Can I break the rule, like everyone else does? Lol
Goldy
Goldy, Kel just says that the song will be used in an upcoming tour. I think your song is imaginative and full of great descriptions. I felt like any man would ealsily be able to pull off your song. Most excellent!
Lisa
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This is my work in progress. Not sure I like the short verses with a long chorus but I have a tune in my head...
This is a story based on my friends Motorcycle Annual Trip from the UK (Salisbury is called "The City in the Country") to the Mediterranean Sea (aslo called the Great Sea) I enjoy his journey every year on Facebook! LOL
The City in the Country or Where the Sun Sets- Lisa M. Guzda 10/2013
The city in the country
Is where I’m coming from
Salisbury, Wilshire UK
I always call my home
The wheels they are aturnningToday I’ll take a rideI’m heading for the mountainsRight through the countrysideThey say the sun sets over Europe
I believe this to be true
I’ve seen the sun set over the UK
Far away from you
When the sun sets over Europe
It’s for sure I can’t stay
I know the sun sets over Europe
I’ve seen the sun set in the Uk
Time for a mini break
Takin a pleasure cruise
Start from the Bay of Biscay
ride to the Cap de Crues
They say the sun sets over Europe
I believe this to be true
I’ve seen the sun set over Spain
Far away from you
When the sun sets over Europe
I’ll be far from feeling pain
I know the sun sets over Europe
I’ve seen the sun set in Spain
I ferry to Santander
Scoot through the Pyrenees
Feel the air upon my face
Ending up at the Great Sea
They say the sun sets over Europe
I believe this to be true
I’ve seen the sun set over France
Far away from you
When the sun sets over Europe
I’ll be sure to take my chance
I know the sun sets over Europe
I’ve seen the sun set in France
Bridge will be about the motorcycle he rides...and bring in a description of the "you" in the chorus too. must get working on this.
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John are week 14 and 16 due tomorrow? I can't wait to hear everybody's songs and to share ours!!!!
7 pages!!!
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Well....I have a melody for it so it must be done! I'm thinking this is the final draft. Thank you ladies for all your tremendous effort! Lisa
The Famous One
I might be called a Diva
Even if it’s not true
I act out I need to show
I’m famous and I’m new
A mansion filled with gold things
A yacht I named “Ahoy!†(Ahoy!)
A garage filled with sports cars
I love my shiny toys
Pre-chorus
If you want my autograph, you will have to pay
Chorus
Hey, I’m an acting prodigy
I’m better than I ever dreamed
I have no modesty
Paparazzi are following me
For I’m the famous one
The famous one
I hang with the stars all day
I’m out of this world
Watch me on my TV show
I’ll give you all I’m worth
Pre-chorus
If you want my autograph, you will have to pay
Chorus
Hey, I’m an acting prodigy
I’m better than I ever dreamed
I have no modesty
Paparazzi are following me
For I’m the famous one
The famous one
Bridge
It’s all in my mind that I am famous as can be
Pretending to make millions when I don’t have change to eat
Chorus
Hey, I’m an acting prodigy
I’m better than I ever dreamed
I have no modesty
Paparazzi are following me
For I’m the famous one
The famous one
The famous one indeed!
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Hi, all. I'm jumping into the challenges several weeks late but I'm here. I'm really burnt from trying the 50/90 challenge this summer so I'm going to post my "summer" one from there here (but it is a first draft...was given the title and one hour to write it) to start off and get used to how these challenges here work. Personally, I think the bridge is my first area of attack. Thanks!
Male vocal
"Summer Storm" © 2013 by Cheryl A. Hodgins
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Verse 1:
A sultry look on an angel's face
On a hot, starry night in July
She flowed with a captivating grace
Others looked on with envious eyes
.
Verse 2:
Her fingers promised me to the moon
As we watched Haley's comet go by
We heard Cupid's heart play a tune
Aquarius shown high in the sky
.
Chorus:
She had me that summer
Yearning with a hunger
I woke every morn
To her summer storm
A season passing
But we were smashing
Soon summer will end
Until then I wake
To her summer storm
.
Verse 3:
In the morning light we have coffee
Saying few words but saying a lot
When she talks she whispers so softly
We're both careful as to no forethought
.
Chorus:
She had me that summer
Yearning with a hunger
I woke every morn
To her summer storm
A season passing
But we were smashing
Soon summer will end
Until then I wake
To her summer storm
.
Bridge:
We don't want this to end
This wasn't supposed to happen
We both have to go back
To the lives we used to have
We don't want to say goodbye
But this is to be our last night
.
Chorus:
She had me that summer
Yearning with a hunger
I woke every morn
To her summer storm
A season passing
But we were smashing
Soon summer will end
Until then I wake
To her summer storm
Cheryl,
Do you have a melody for this? It's almost ready for one if you don't.
I have a few thoughts you can accept or ignore.
I was humming a tune in verse 1 almost immidiately. Very rythmic. Very visual.
One nit in V1: L3 if you take the word "a" out it still works and matches the syllable count in the other verses.
V2 is very different in that it seems like random thoughts. They don't quite mesh. As I was trying to sing it I noticed it was very wordy even though the syllable count was matching closely to V1
Don't laugh but while singing the chorus, I had heavy drum beats in my head. A total different momentum. It is very sexy in my opinion.
As for your bridge, I suggest one change to start and see where it leads you:
L2: Love wasn't supposed to happen or even: We didn't mean to fall in love
"this" seems weak to me. If you weren't talking about love than define the "this" is all I mean.
As I said before these are just my thoughts from reading your lovely song.
Welcome to the challenges!
Lisa
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Hi, Lisa.
I really like a lot of things about this. You've got the rules down. Lovely chorus; nice rhyming, beautiful flow; leaves one with a nice summer feeling.
I'm trying not to read comments left beforehand. I started to with Kel's critique but would rather find out how closely the critiques match, etc.
One nit for this song: For the last two lines in the chorus, I feel it takes away from the rest of the song and being that it is in the chorus, it takes away more. This song is well written in that it can be taken metaphorically or not; however, the next to the last line in the chorus, I'd like to see that be a positive rather than a negative "don't" word., and for the last line, the "make believe" makes me stop and realize...oh this nice feeling isn't real...wake up and come back to reality, which isn't what I want to do. I want to stay in my ocean dream.
There are many, many things I love about this whole song though. The title is a great one that makes me want to hear the song, lots of nice ocean-y imagery. It all makes me feel like I am right there.
I hope what I have said has been helpful and makes sense. I would love to hear this with music!! Great job!!!
Cheryl
Cheryl, great observation about the last two lines in the chorus. I can get carried away with the words I want to use in my rhyme scheme so trying to make them make sense sometimes takes the back seat. I'll definitely look at it again. Maybe you've just helped finish the song! Awesome!
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me too! nice work Kel!
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Hi, all. I'm jumping into the challenges several weeks late but I'm here. I'm really burnt from trying the 50/90 challenge this summer so I'm going to post my "summer" one from there here (but it is a first draft) to start off and get used to how these challenges here work. Personally, I think the bridge is my first area of attack. Thanks!
Male vocal
"Summer Storm" © 2013 by Cheryl A. Hodgins
.
Verse 1:
A sultry look on an angel's face
On a hot, starry night in July
She flowed with a captivating grace
Others looked on with envious eyes
.
Verse 2:
Her fingers promised me to the moon
As we watched Haley's comet go by
We heard Cupid's heart play a tune
Aquarius shown high in the sky
.
Chorus:
She had me that summer
Yearning with a hunger
I woke every morn
To her summer storm
A season passing
But we were smashing
Soon summer will end
Until then I wake
To her summer storm
.
Verse 3:
In the morning light we have coffee
Saying few words but saying a lot
When she talks she whispers so softly
We're both careful as to no forethought
.
Chorus:
She had me that summer
Yearning with a hunger
I woke every morn
To her summer storm
A season passing
But we were smashing
Soon summer will end
Until then I wake
To her summer storm
.
Bridge:
We don't want this to end
This wasn't supposed to happen
We both have to go back
To the lives we used to have
We don't want to say goodbye
But this is to be our last night
.
Chorus:
She had me that summer
Yearning with a hunger
I woke every morn
To her summer storm
A season passing
But we were smashing
Soon summer will end
Until then I wake
To her summer storm
Hi WAW,
welcome to the group. I'm off to work but what is 50/90 challenge?
Lisa
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Hi Lisa, any comparison to Jim Steinman's work is humbling, truly. I admit, I never gave the rhyme scheme much thought at all; I was more interested in the chill factor. I've made a slight change now and it should be closer, though it might mean the vocalist will need to drawl Margarita somewhat.
Thanks again for your input.
Kel
It's closer but it will have to be a heck of a drawl...I can do a good southern twang
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Second draft. comments and thoughts appreciated
Changes are in red.
The Famous One
I might be called a DIVA
Even if it’s not true
I act out I need to show
I’m famous and I’m new
A mansion filled with gold things
A yacht I named “Ahoy!â€
A garage filled with sports cars
All of these are my toys
Pre-chorus
If you want my autograph, you’ll have to pay a fee
Nothing of great worth, ever comes for free
Chorus
Hey, I’m an acting prodigy
I’m better than I ever dreamed
I have no modesty
Fame is all around
For I’m the famous one
The famous one
I hang with the stars all day
I’m out of this world
Watch me on my TV show
That proves I have some worth
Pre-chorus
If you want my autograph, you’ll have to pay a fee
Nothing of great worth, ever comes for free
Chorus
Bridge
In my mind’s reality I am famous as can be
I pre tend to make millions
So I’m a star to everyone
Chorus
Hey, I’m an acting prodigy
I’m better than I ever dreamed
I have no modesty
Fame is all around
For I’m the famous one
The famous one
The famous one indeed!
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Musicxray.com?
in Songwriting
Posted
Thanks Ames1212. If I had a little extra $, I'd try it a little more. Well that and some really good quality finished product songs.
It's nice to know that someone actually had it work for them.
See you around here on Songstuff!
Lisa