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Lisa Gates

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Posts posted by Lisa Gates

  1. Thanks Ames1212. If I had a little extra $, I'd try it a little more. Well that and some really good quality finished product songs.

    It's nice to know that someone actually had it work for them.

    See you around here on Songstuff!
    Lisa

  2. Hi Steve, Thanks for your thoughts on this. I'm on Soundcloud too and will "folllow" you the next time I get on (probably later tongiht..I'm pathetically additcted to Songstuff and Soundcloud!)

    As for Music Xray, Ihave found over the year that if one has a finished product of high quality that matches what they are looking for, you will get a response. Needless to say, I don't have the capability of finished products with hight quality and oh that little thing called money to invest in my "hobby"

    Damn, damn, damn! I like most here, wish the music industry would be my full time job...

    Steve, Welcome to Songstuff! There is a wealth of information here and a TON of great people. Just looking back at this post reminds me of how far I have come in the last year due to Songstuff.

    If I can help you in any way, just hit me up with a PM!

    Lisa

  3. Hey there AMDY,

    First of all welcome to SS!

    Second of all be sure to read our rules...

    Third of all there is a huge collection of articles that may help you. This link brings you to one about bands but has a section in it about the business of promoting the bands music...you are the band, you are the music!

    http://business.songstuff.com/article/5_tips_to_help_your_band_success/

    Definitely take a look around the site at what others have posted too. I bet there are some posts that could help spark an idea or two.

     I liked Voodoo!

    Feel free to PM with any questions, I'll try to help!
    Lisa

  4. Great! I'm not ready to come back and contribute anything worthwhile to the group but for crying out loud! ALL day long all I hear is alliterations!
    Pistol Pete the Policeman was in a story my husband told me

    Lazy Sunday, lovely labrador was on my friends Facebook status (which a pic of the lab of course!)

    Be right Back for Breakthrough songs ( show on my DishTV...)

     

    I am not liking alliterations...they are everywhere!!!!

    Good luck! Kick Lazy Larry's butt PLEASE

  5. As it happens, I heard the story of a young refugee on the radio. It was while driving home from work.

    A young woman buried her 2 sisters and mother in just a few days on their journey.

     

     

    The Dispossessed

     

    V1

    As a family we began

    We walked each day as far we could

    My sisters and mother so gentle and meek

    I had buried them all in the space of a week

     

    V2

    Syria marches, and Syria is us

    We are not some place on a chart

    My family is gone, but I am not alone

    But when will Allah bring his children home?

     

    Pre-chorus:

    The west don’t understand

    They think we are themselves in the sand

     

    chorus:

    We walk away from violence

    We are a family in every way

    We walk towards the silence

    But the family grows lesser every day

     

    V3

    Democracy has failed us all.

    It looked good from a distance

    But the will of the people is vain and shallow

    Only the will of god is good enough to follow

     

    Pre-chorus:

    The west don’t understand

    They think we are themselves in the sand

     

    chorus:

    We walk away from violence

    We are a family in every way

    We walk towards the silence

    But the family grows lesser every day

     

    Rudi

    Outstanding, just about perfect. I think this challenge is done. Rudi has said it all...

  6. So far, Lisa, the song is very interesting, I felt like you took me on a journey, and I learned about the different places in Europe. Looking forward to more, I like your chorus, I think it's musical on it's own.

     

    Goldy

     

    I love these tags, what do you think Lisa? Art work always enhances anything!

     

    628412138_1783975.gif?4

    AWESOME Tag! I'm laughing so hard! Yes, artwork enhances everything. The weekend is here and I can work on LYRICS! Amen!

  7.  Kel, I just read your description again, I wrote the European tour, as memory, not up coming. Can I break the rule, like everyone else does? Lol

    Goldy :oops:  :oops:

    Goldy, Kel just says that the song will be used in an upcoming tour. I think your song is imaginative and full of great descriptions. I felt like any man would ealsily be able to pull off your song. Most excellent!

    Lisa

  8. This is my work in progress. Not sure I like the short verses with a long chorus but I have a tune in my head...

    This is a story based on my friends Motorcycle Annual Trip from the UK  (Salisbury is called "The City in the Country") to the Mediterranean Sea (aslo called the Great Sea) I enjoy his journey every year on Facebook! LOL

     

    The City in the Country or Where the Sun Sets- Lisa M. Guzda 10/2013

     

    The city in the country

    Is where I’m coming from

    Salisbury, Wilshire UK

    I always call my home

    The wheels they are aturnning

    Today I’ll take a ride

    I’m heading for the mountains

    Right through the countryside

     

    They say the sun sets over Europe

    I believe this to be true

    I’ve seen the sun set over the UK

    Far away from you

    When the sun sets over Europe

    It’s for sure I can’t stay

    I know the sun sets over Europe

    I’ve seen the sun set in the Uk

     

    Time for a mini break

    Takin a pleasure cruise

    Start from the Bay of Biscay

    ride to the Cap de Crues

     

    They say the sun sets over Europe

    I believe this to be true

    I’ve seen the sun set over Spain

    Far away from you

    When the sun sets over Europe

    I’ll be far from feeling pain

    I know the sun sets over Europe

    I’ve seen the sun set in Spain

     

    I ferry to Santander

    Scoot through the Pyrenees

    Feel the air upon my face

    Ending up at the Great Sea

     

    They say the sun sets over Europe

    I believe this to be true

    I’ve seen the sun set over France

    Far away from you

    When the sun sets over Europe

    I’ll be sure to take my chance

    I know the sun sets over Europe

    I’ve seen the sun set in France

     

    Bridge will be about the motorcycle he rides...and bring in a description of the "you" in the chorus too. must get working on this.

  9. Well....I have a melody for it so it must be done! I'm thinking this is the final draft. Thank you ladies for all your tremendous effort! Lisa

     

    The Famous One

     

    I might be called a Diva

    Even if it’s not true

    I act out I need to show

    I’m famous and I’m new

     

    A mansion filled with gold things

    A yacht I named “Ahoy!” (Ahoy!)

    A garage filled with sports cars

    I love my shiny toys

     

    Pre-chorus

    If you want my autograph, you will have to pay

     

    Chorus

    Hey, I’m an acting prodigy

    I’m better than I ever dreamed

    I have no modesty

    Paparazzi are following me

    For I’m the famous one

    The famous one

     

    I hang with the stars all day

    I’m out of this world

    Watch me on my TV show

    I’ll give you all I’m worth

     

    Pre-chorus

    If you want my autograph, you will have to pay 

     

    Chorus

    Hey, I’m an acting prodigy

    I’m better than I ever dreamed

    I have no modesty

    Paparazzi are following me

    For I’m the famous one

    The famous one

     

    Bridge

    It’s all in my mind that I am famous as can be

    Pretending to make millions when I don’t have change to eat

     

    Chorus

    Hey, I’m an acting prodigy

    I’m better than I ever dreamed

    I have no modesty

    Paparazzi are following me

    For I’m the famous one

    The famous one

    The famous one indeed!

  10. Hi, all. I'm jumping into the challenges several weeks late but I'm here. I'm really burnt from trying the 50/90 challenge this summer so I'm going to post my "summer" one from there here (but it is a first draft...was given the title and one hour to write it) to start off and get used to how these challenges here work. Personally, I think the bridge is my first area of attack. Thanks!

     

    Male vocal

     

    "Summer Storm" © 2013 by Cheryl A. Hodgins

    .

    Verse 1:

    A sultry look on an angel's face

    On a hot, starry night in July

    She flowed with a captivating grace

    Others looked on with envious eyes

    .

    Verse 2:

    Her fingers promised me to the moon

    As we watched Haley's comet go by

    We heard Cupid's heart play a tune

    Aquarius shown high in the sky

    .

    Chorus:

    She had me that summer

    Yearning with a hunger

    I woke every morn

    To her summer storm

    A season passing

    But we were smashing

    Soon summer will end

    Until then I wake

    To her summer storm

    .

    Verse 3:

    In the morning light we have coffee

    Saying few words but saying a lot

    When she talks she whispers so softly

    We're both careful as to no forethought

    .

    Chorus:

    She had me that summer

    Yearning with a hunger

    I woke every morn

    To her summer storm

    A season passing

    But we were smashing

    Soon summer will end

    Until then I wake

    To her summer storm

    .

    Bridge:

    We don't want this to end

    This wasn't supposed to happen

    We both have to go back

    To the lives we used to have

    We don't want to say goodbye

    But this is to be our last night

    .

    Chorus:

    She had me that summer

    Yearning with a hunger

    I woke every morn

    To her summer storm

    A season passing

    But we were smashing

    Soon summer will end

    Until then I wake

    To her summer storm

    Cheryl,

    Do you have a melody for this? It's almost ready for one if you don't.

    I have a few thoughts you can accept or ignore.

    I was humming a tune in verse 1 almost immidiately. Very rythmic. Very visual.

    One nit in V1: L3 if you take the word "a" out it still works and matches the syllable count in the other verses.

     

    V2 is very different in that it seems like random thoughts. They don't quite mesh. As I was trying to sing it I noticed it was very wordy even though the syllable count was matching closely to V1

     

    Don't laugh but while singing the chorus, I had heavy drum beats in my head. A total different momentum. It is very sexy in my opinion.

     

    As for your bridge, I suggest one change to start and see where it leads you:

    L2: Love wasn't supposed to happen or even: We didn't mean to fall in love

    "this" seems weak to me. If you weren't talking about love than define the "this" is all I mean.

     

    As I said before these are just my thoughts from reading your lovely song.

     

    Welcome to the challenges!

    Lisa

  11. Hi, Lisa.

     

    I really like a lot of things about this. You've got the rules down. Lovely chorus; nice rhyming, beautiful flow; leaves one with a nice summer feeling.

     

    I'm trying not to read comments left beforehand. I started to with Kel's critique but would rather find out how closely the critiques match, etc.

     

    One nit for this song: For the last two lines in the chorus, I feel it takes away from the rest of the song and being that it is in the chorus, it takes away more. This song is well written in that it can be taken metaphorically or not; however, the next to the last line in the chorus, I'd like to see that be a positive rather than a negative "don't" word., and for the last line, the "make believe" makes me stop and realize...oh this nice feeling isn't real...wake up and come back to reality, which isn't what I want to do. I want to stay in my ocean dream.

     

    There are many, many things I love about this whole song though. The title is a great one that makes me want to hear the song, lots of nice ocean-y imagery. It all makes me feel like I am right there.

     

    I hope what I have said has been helpful and makes sense. I would love to hear this with music!! Great job!!!

     

    Cheryl

    Cheryl, great observation about the last two lines in the chorus. I can get carried away with the words I want to use in my rhyme scheme  so trying to make them make sense sometimes takes the back seat. I'll definitely look at it again. Maybe you've just helped finish the song! Awesome!

  12. Hi, all. I'm jumping into the challenges several weeks late but I'm here. I'm really burnt from trying the 50/90 challenge this summer so I'm going to post my "summer" one from there here (but it is a first draft) to start off and get used to how these challenges here work. Personally, I think the bridge is my first area of attack. Thanks!

     

    Male vocal

     

    "Summer Storm" © 2013 by Cheryl A. Hodgins

    .

    Verse 1:

    A sultry look on an angel's face

    On a hot, starry night in July

    She flowed with a captivating grace

    Others looked on with envious eyes

    .

    Verse 2:

    Her fingers promised me to the moon

    As we watched Haley's comet go by

    We heard Cupid's heart play a tune

    Aquarius shown high in the sky

    .

    Chorus:

    She had me that summer

    Yearning with a hunger

    I woke every morn

    To her summer storm

    A season passing

    But we were smashing

    Soon summer will end

    Until then I wake

    To her summer storm

    .

    Verse 3:

    In the morning light we have coffee

    Saying few words but saying a lot

    When she talks she whispers so softly

    We're both careful as to no forethought

    .

    Chorus:

    She had me that summer

    Yearning with a hunger

    I woke every morn

    To her summer storm

    A season passing

    But we were smashing

    Soon summer will end

    Until then I wake

    To her summer storm

    .

    Bridge:

    We don't want this to end

    This wasn't supposed to happen

    We both have to go back

    To the lives we used to have

    We don't want to say goodbye

    But this is to be our last night

    .

    Chorus:

    She had me that summer

    Yearning with a hunger

    I woke every morn

    To her summer storm

    A season passing

    But we were smashing

    Soon summer will end

    Until then I wake

    To her summer storm

    Hi WAW,

    welcome to the group. I'm off to work but what is 50/90 challenge?

    Lisa

  13. Hi Lisa, any comparison to Jim Steinman's work is humbling, truly. I admit, I never gave the rhyme scheme much thought at all; I was more interested in the chill factor. I've made a slight change now and it should be closer, though it might mean the vocalist will need to drawl Margarita somewhat.

     

    Thanks again for your input.

     

    Kel

    It's closer but it will have to be a heck of a drawl...I can do a good southern twang  :cowboy:

  14. Second draft. comments and thoughts appreciated

     

    Changes are in red.

     

    The Famous One

     

    I might be called a DIVA

    Even if it’s not true

    I act out I need to show

    I’m famous and I’m new

     

    A mansion filled with gold things

    A yacht I named “Ahoy!”

    A garage filled with sports cars

    All of these are my toys

     

    Pre-chorus

    If you want my autograph, you’ll have to pay a fee

    Nothing of great worth, ever comes for free

     

    Chorus

    Hey, I’m an acting prodigy

    I’m better than I ever dreamed

    I have no modesty

    Fame is all around

    For I’m the famous one

    The famous one

     

    I hang with the stars all day

    I’m out of this world

    Watch me on my TV show

    That proves I have some worth

     

    Pre-chorus

    If you want my autograph, you’ll have to pay a fee

    Nothing of great worth, ever comes for free

     

    Chorus

     

    Bridge

    In my mind’s reality I am famous as can be

    I pre tend to make millions

    So I’m a star to everyone

     

    Chorus

    Hey, I’m an acting prodigy

    I’m better than I ever dreamed

    I have no modesty

    Fame is all around

    For I’m the famous one

    The famous one

    The famous one indeed!

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