I'm Totally Stuck With My Writing For Years Now.

[borjacobs]

I've read a lot of posts on this website for the last few weeks but nothing really seems to help me with my problem.

I've been playing music for the last 13 years (I'm 26 now) and since I was 16 I've played in several bands. All those bands broke up eventually. Since the age of 17/18 I just wanted to go and try and do the whole music thing for real. I've been fighting myself through several bands / shows, etc. But I always ended up being the only one that really wanted it, like there was no way back. The rest just liked to have fun, and only put 50 % of their time in it. Maybe I scared them with my willingness to give everything up just to do the music thing, but I just wanted it so bad. There is really nothing else that I can do. I also noticed that it is extremely hard to do it here in the Netherlands. Everyone is so 'radio minded' over here. If you don't have a song on the national radio, or have a coverband your destined to play 50 dollar shows in bars for the rest of your life. At least thats how it feels like. (I was even that desperate that I started writing songs purely aimed for the radio, No succes of course) I'm trying to fight my way through for the last 10 years but without any succes. Now I don't have a band at the moment.

Now to the point:

With these bands I was always part of the writing process. I can come up with several parts a day, that I'm happy with. But thats my problem. Now that I'm alone I want to write songs for myself but I can only come up with parts. It drives me crazy. Sometimes just an intro, Other times if I'm lucky a chorus with some vocal melody, etc. But they all don't fit together. And in the end when I'm listening to bands I like I can't help but to compare them to my own material. That's when I think my material isn't as good as theirs. And I delete it, or save it on my harddisk.

This is going on for 3 years now, but I just want to play songs I like, but I just can't seem to finish one that I like. I also provide vocals for these tracks. I took singing lessons, and people say my voice suits the kind of style I play. But when I'm happy with a instrumental, and I'm trying to write vocals for it I always end up unhappy, because I think they are not up par with the bands I like.

Sometimes I think to myself. Why can't I release or be part of such a band of dedicated people (We're not talking U2 hear or something. As my writing goes I'm into pop (punk) rock alternative stuff, lots of American bands. (I'm also listening to softer and harder stuff but I think that summed it up quite nicely.) I would be happy If I only released one thing. I just can't seem to get out of this 'block'

Have some of you experienced something similar, or have any tips for me. If I keep going on like this I won't have anything released in 10 years from now.

Thanks a lot!

Edited January 26, 2013 by borjacobs

[borjacobs]

I also want to add that I know exactly what it is that I like in the songs from the other artists and what my song lacks. But I can't do it for some reason. I also co-wrote some songs with other bands and friends and that was really easy for me. They had an idea, they had the lyrics, and I knew what I could do to make some parts 'better' that they were unsure of. (I have to say that not everything was my cup of thea and that I would have changed a lot more if it was my own song, but that is just taste.

[MotuKothu]

If you want something you should let it go. If you try to hang on to it, you will choke it until it is a compromised version of what's inside you. It needs to come out naturally not in a forced way.

First thing I would do is stop comparing yourself to other bands. They have their own sound and you need to find and cultivate your own sound, lyrics included.

Then once you've made up your mind that you want to be yourself, not anybody else. Now you can get to business! Write a song from front to end... just write it... no matter what it means just get it down on paper. Now sing it over and over for a week, no matter how silly or stupid or lame you think it is... just keep playing with it til it feels good (there is no right or wrong and there are no rules). Be single minded this coming week. Just practice your song, slow, fast, hard, soft, etc. You'll begin to figure out phrasing and you'll end up rewriting a bunch of it. Just keep going no matter how awful it seems to you...

Don't put pressure on yourself. Don't worry about leaping buildings... just take 1 step and then another and then another and your confidence will build.

[dermo33]

could the problem be that you are just not any good?....if so, you should probably do something you enjoy

[glissongs]

My guess is that good songwriters are born that way...... for the rest of us, it's a huge struggle. I don't try to make it TOO important 'cos I know I'll never write a "hit".

You may just be a great "co-writer", and that alone is a good thing. I would certainly be happy with that, if I was in a good band and the songs really worked.

[DonnaMarilyn]

I'm a lyricist, not a musician, but can sympathise with how you feel. MotuKothu has made a good point. Try to stop agonising. Step back from it for a while. Don't compare yourself to other bands. Look at linking up online with collaborators: for instance, have a listen to some of the songs on this site and contact the writers. Post to the collaborations section. Maybe post something you've done and ask for collaborators to help you finish it.

You might even consider taking structured songwriting classes, e.g. at http://www.songu.com. I've been a member there for a couple of years, and highly recommend it.

Something else that may be interesting and motivating is the FAWM (February Album Writing Month - write 14 songs/lyrics, etc. in 28 days) challenge that's due to start on February 1st. Twenty-eight days of inspiration, motivation, delirium, hilarity, and insanity that always has the most amazing results. It's a personal challenge, not a competition, so it doesn't matter whether you write one song/lyric/instrumental or 14 (or more). Quite a few folks from the Netherlands usually take part as well, so who knows - maybe you can link up with someone there. Did you know there's a strong songwriter's group in Amsterdam, whose goals - I believe - are not necessarily radio-oriented. Here's the FAWM link. http://fawm.org The site isn't open yet (it's being revamped), but you can join the Facebook group or send an email to get notice of when it opens. (It will be up in time for February 1st.)

Edited January 27, 2013 by DonnaMarilyn

[borjacobs]

Thanks a lot for everyone's input. I think it gave me a clearer view of my whole situation. Writing/music is not a necessity for me. I don't have to live of of it or something. I need to try and get back to the point where I felt that music was fun, and I liked to do it, instead of forcing myself because I have to.

I will definitely take all your tips into consideration, and try some stuff out. Maybe the FAWM will be something for me. I friend of mine also gave me a reader with something similar in it. It is a 'writing a record in 30 days kinda contest'. But that one is individual.

Thanks a lot! When I'm making progress you guys will definitely read it somewhere up on this website.

[Paul Battersby]

borjacobs,

I've been in a few bands in my time and I know what you mean about people not able to make the same level of commitment. This is something you probably have to establish before joining or starting a band. Not only do you need to know what everyone wants from being in the band but also what the musical direction will be. Might as well get that figured out from the beginning rather than joining or starting a band that is destined to break up eventually due to musical differences.

As for contributing to songs but not starting and finishing songs, that pretty much describes me too but I've found plenty to keep be busy by collaborating on songs started by other people. If you were to search all of the music I've posted here, I'm never the songwriter, but a contributor to other's songs. I feel better able to do that, than to write my own songs. That may change some day, but for now, I'm doing what works best for me so perhaps, like me, you need to partner with a songwriter, but that's no reason to stop trying to write your own songs.

Good luck.

[skylimit]

Dear borjacobs,

I know how it feels to be stuck. But over the years I've found that there are some great tools to overcome these blocks. I'd suggest you to read some books and watch some online videos about songwriting. One book I'd suggest you to read is: "How music really works" by Wayne Chase.

I don't know your process of writing a song. But I'd suggest you to start very simple and structurally. Don't think about guitar riffs, production sounds while starting to write the song. I know that people in bands always tend to do that. Just start with some simple chords and melody and build your song gradually. And yeah, that FAWM challenge seems a good motivation to start writing some songs again. And if you have something already, I'm more than happy to give some constructive critique. The others on this forum probably too.

Veel succes!!!

[Janeva]

Hi

My main advice would be to try to stop being too self critical and comparing yourself to others. You will always have influences from your favourite bands but your music needs to come from within yourself and it will, if you allow it.

As David mentioned above, there are plenty of musicians here who often upload short pieces onto the Song and Recording Critique forum so why not give that a try? There are also plenty of people here who have collaborated over the internet, which could be another option for you.

Above all - never delete anything! Think of all your music, even the shortest snippets of ideas, as pieces in a jigsaw and that piece of sky you are searching for may already be there if you look carefully enough

Good luck

Jan

[Joe]

borjacobs:

 

I do just lyrics now.  For years I wrote poetry, and I have found that what I discovered then applies equally well now.  Here are some of the things I found: 

• each person is a unique individual, and thus should not worry about what others think.  That releases a huge sense of freedom when being creative and frees the bonds of trying to imagine others expectations.
• equally important is the fact that we have to allow ourselves to be imperfect....else, how otherwise to strive for excellence.  It's ok to fail once in a while, it is in our nature.
• one must really be keenly aware of when that moment of creativity occurs (and it can come at the darndest times).  When it happens, you have to be able to not only sense it, but act upon it....in doing so, the "juices" will flow...they just do.
• do it for the personal joy and satisfaction.  If one is doing it for the approval of others, perceived or real, it can cause binding.
• everything I write has some sort of personal connection to it, and that makes it a whole lot easier to write.  The only thing I am an expert on is the guy in whose skin I reside.
• if you are into something, and get stymied, put it away.....park it.  In time you will feel (and feel is the key word there) the desire (not need)  to get back on it.  When that happens to me, the creativity flows.  In other words, you cannot force creativity...it really fights back, as you are experiencing.

I hope this helps some.

 

Joe