#20 My Song -Tba (A La Coldplay)

[jamestoffee]

Title: Gypsy Woman

 

Listen to the mp3 here http://soundclick.co...cfm?id=12574213

 

=====Revised Version 1=====

 

Gypsy woman tells me  
Husband feed our family 
So I bring a melon back 
From Farmer Johnson’s patch 

 

Farmer Johnson sees me 
Steal that watermelon  
But he only sees my back
I’m way too fast to catch

 

Chorus
Gypsy woman I know you can read the signs
You can read the signs
Gypsy woman

 

Farmer Johnson’s clever 
Posts a warning sign
One of these watermelons 
Is laced with cyanide  

 

Looters, thieves, and felons  
See the warning sign 
Gypsy woman reads it
Shakes her head and sighs
 

chorus

 

Gypsy woman tells me 
One sign just won’t do 
Post a second sign that says 
"NOW THERE ARE TWO!"

 

chorus

 

 

=====Original Version=====

 

Gypsy woman tells me  
Find food feed the family 
So I bring a melon back 
From Farmer Johnson’s patch 

 

Farmer Johnson sees me 
Steal that watermelon  
But he only sees my back
I run too fast to catch

 

Chorus
Gypsy woman I know you can read the signs
You can read the signs
Gypsy woman

 

Farmer Johnson’s clever 
Posts a warning sign
Gypsy woman reads it
Shakes her head and sighs

 

Looters, thieves, and felons  
See the warning sign 
One of these watermelons 
Is laced with cyanide  

 

chorus

 

Gypsy woman tells me 
One sign just won’t do 
Post this by the old one 
"NOW THERE ARE TWO!"

 

chorus

 

Edited November 23, 2013 by jamestoffee

[john]

If you add a simple reply here James, one word, I will tidy up by moving the analysis over to the challenge thread while keeping the lyrics in their own song thread. I just need two posts from you as a starting point. That means I can easily keep the posts with you as author. I can do it from one post, I think, but the process would be harder and I am much less certain.

[jamestoffee]

Hi John,

 

I took off the analysis and only have the lyric here now and I have the analysis under your post as you had directed. 

 

....and this is the second post as per your request....I think....I'm a little unclear. :s

 

James

 

 

 

If you add a simple reply here James, one word, I will tidy up by moving the analysis over to the challenge thread while keeping the lyrics in their own song thread. I just need two posts from you as a starting point. That means I can easily keep the posts with you as author. I can do it from one post, I think, but the process would be harder and I am much less certain.

[john]

lol I was going to move the analysis for you, but as you have done it now there is no need for the second post lol

 

The reason is I can take an existing pot and create a topic in your name based on that post, but i can't create a post in your name. well, not easily thus I needed you to create a post.

 

but all's well that ends well. I'll change your topic title accordingly.

[jamestoffee]

Thanks!

 

lol...but all's well that ends well. I'll change your topic title accordingly.

[goldylocks]

James, I made a few suggestions about the lyrics below. Other than that it is really well laid out and sounds great! Just a tiny nit reading it the second time. What is the end for eating the cyanide laden melon? I don't get that.

 

Title: Gypsy Woman

 

Listen to the mp3 here http://soundclick.co...cfm?id=12574213

 

Gypsy woman tells me  
Find food feed the family /maybe feed your family/ sounds better to me
So I bring a melon back 
From Farmer Johnson’s patch 

 

Farmer Johnson sees me 
Steal that watermelon  
But he only sees my back
I run too fast to catch/awkward/cause I'm gone like a flash/or in a flash

 

Chorus
Gypsy woman I know you can read the signs
You can read the signs
Gypsy woman

 

Farmer Johnson’s clever 
Posts a warning sign
Gypsy woman reads it
Shakes her head and sighs

 

Looters, thieves, and felons  
See the warning sign 
One of these watermelons 
Is laced with cyanide  

 

chorus

 

Gypsy woman tells me 
One sign just won’t do 
Post this by the old one 
"NOW THERE ARE TWO!"

To remind a scoundrel like you/suggestion

 

 

Goldy        

Edited November 22, 2013 by goldylocks

[Vagdavercustis]

It's a good write!
It tells a story and I've enjoyed it
I just don't get the chorus... If I read that it makes me think of a fortune teller.
It leaves me confused. But that's just me maybe. 
Is their a deeper meaning behind this that I can't see?
 

Title: Gypsy Woman

 

Listen to the mp3 here http://soundclick.co...cfm?id=12574213

 

Gypsy woman tells me  
Find food feed the family 
So I bring a melon back 
From Farmer Johnson’s patch 

 

Farmer Johnson sees me 
Steal that watermelon  
But he only sees my back
I run too fast to catch

 

Chorus
Gypsy woman I know you can read the signs
You can read the signs
Gypsy woman

 

Farmer Johnson’s clever 
Posts a warning sign
Gypsy woman reads it
Shakes her head and sighs

 

Looters, thieves, and felons  
See the warning sign 
One of these watermelons 
Is laced with cyanide  

 

chorus

 

Gypsy woman tells me 
One sign just won’t do 
Post this by the old one 
"NOW THERE ARE TWO!"

 

chorus

 

[jamestoffee]

 Thanks Goldie and Vadga,

 

>Find food feed the family /maybe feed your family/ sounds better to me

 

How about "Husband, feed the/our family"

 

>I run too fast to catch/awkward/cause I'm gone like a flash/or in a flash

 

How about "I'm way to fast to catch"

 

 

 

^{>What is the end for eating the cyanide laden melon? I don't get that.}

^{Here is the source of the story/joke}

 

^{http://www.ahajokes.com/jokes/1134/eat_the_watermelons}

 

Eat the Watermelons

 A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast.


The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation. So he puts up a sign that reads: "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!"


He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons.


The farmer returns to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads: "NOW THERE ARE TWO!"

 

^{>I just don't get the chorus... If I read that it makes me think of a fortune teller.
It leaves me confused. But that's just me maybe. 
Is their a deeper meaning behind this that I can't see?}

 

^{The two meaning are figurative and literal......}

^{.........figuratively "read the signs" means piecing together signs from the physical and spiritual world to see the future...as it her job as a fortune teller; although it is not expressed directly she is a fortune teller.....it's a stereotype of gypsies being fortune tellers or circus acts}

 

^{....literally "read the sign(s)" means she can see the farmer's sign in the watermelon patch and tell the singer what it means; implying that the singer is illiterate and/or dimwitted.}

 

^{......so the singer doesn't know how to get more watermelons without possibly choosing the poisoned one.....the gypsy woman's solution is to leave a second sign in the field for the farmer to read "Now there are two (poisoned watermelons)".......causing the problem for the farmer because now he doesn't know which other watermelon is poisoned and runs the risk of selling or eating poisoned watermelon himself.}

 

^{....This is the spelled out version , but in the vein of Coldplay style lyrics, Coldplay tend to hint at a story without revealing the meaning.} 

 

 

[jamestoffee]

Updated lyrics posted.....Thanks, Goldie and Vagda

Edited November 23, 2013 by jamestoffee

[Vagdavercustis]

Okay now I get it
I know the style of Coldplay lyrics, I'm just not a big fan of them.
Good job done on the writing! Nothing to critique for me

[jamestoffee]

Hi Vagda,

 

Thanks for the listen and post.

 

>I know the style of Coldplay lyrics, I'm just not a big fan of them.

 

No worries ....thanks for listening anyways

 

 

James

[goldylocks]

Hi Vagda,

 

Thanks for the listen and post.

 

>I know the style of Coldplay lyrics, I'm just not a big fan of them.

 

No worries ....thanks for listening anyways

 

 

James

 

Updated lyrics posted.....Thanks, Goldie and Vagda

James, you answered my suggestions with your own,  I like your song anyway. I got my husband to record mine with just a guitar, we don't have any recording equipment, just audacity, and at least it was an effort. Tell me what you think? I'd appreciate it, He was trying to a little bit of an Elvis style.LOL.

 

Goldy  

Edited November 24, 2013 by goldylocks

[jamestoffee]

Thanks for the feedback, Goldy.

[Rudi]

I got the punchline. JUST. After a couple of read throughs anyway.

 

I like the story.

 

I dont know any Coldplay material (yes I'm an alien, I know) so cant assess the aptness of the song.

 

The recording give me a pretty good idea of the song. If anything holds it back its the confusion of who the Gypsy woman is.

 

At first I thought she was asking a boy (singer) to fetch food. But the rewrite shows that she is the wife of the singer.

 

That is what's confusing. Because its hard to imagine any fellow referring to his missus as 'gypsy woman'. So instead of focusing on the story, we are wondering who's who for quite a while.

[jamestoffee]

Hi Rudi,

 

Thanks for the listen and post

 

> its hard to imagine any fellow referring to his missus as 'gypsy woman'.

 

There is always someone out there doing something others find strange.  Here is a typical Facebook line from someone I know

 

"I love that after 17 1/2 years you are still my love song, my gypsy [her husband], and I get so excited to see you at the end of every day......

 

Reply: Thanks pie [his wife]! I love you more than Waffle House grits!"

 

......"Also very grateful to the best Gypsy [her husband], in the world, who came home to fabric mayhem and a wicked witch slapping paper mache foolishness around"

 

>instead of focusing on the story, we are wondering who's who for quite a while.

 

Yes, I did connect a relationship to minimize the quandary.  I know I can get stuck in tangents and miss the main point many times.....but if you ever do come across some genuine Coldplay lyrics, you'll most likely come away with the same questions.

 

For me, the relationship wasn't necessarily important here....the main idea is to beat the farmer at his own trick, so the gypsy woman could be wife/girlfriend/mother.....just someone literate to be able to "read the sign" implying maybe the singer is illiterate....in any case the gypsy woman has the singer post the second sign "Now there are two"

 

-James

[Rudi]

I finally got around to hearing the song properly (1st time on laptop speakers).

 

I also found some Coldplay songs. I tried Paradise & Clocks.

 

Gypsy Woman definitely sounds like its from the same stable. So you go that right I think. It took some ingenuity to simulate that lush production with just voice & guitar. Great job.

 

I finally heard those harmonies properly. You have some pedal point style chords going on in there I think too. They are a strong point. Also, now when I read the lyric, I hear your song immediately. That has to be a good thing.

 

[jamestoffee]

Hi Rudi,

 

Thanks for taking the time to have another listen and doing more of a musical analysis on this run through 

 

-James