#20 - Honest Man (Kel)

[Rudi]

How goes the recording Kel?

[Kel]

I've heard Rick's sketches and they are damned good. Hoping to have final version later today.

 

Cheers,

Kel

[Kel]

Here it is: http://soundcloud.com/rick-glynn/married-man-recording-check

 

A Married Man

 

[One]

I came to this mountain

When you set us both free

You knew what I needed

Was time just for me

I know it was hard,

But it was something you had to do...

This time that you gave me

Got my mind back on track

All my thing's in the pick up

It's all in the back

I'm on my way home

To you...

 

　

[Chorus]

I got a tank full of gas

No time on my hands

My pickup is loaded and ready to drive

I've come to my senses

Yeah I've changed all my plans

I'm heading back to you with only one thought on my mind,

We can make all those plans

And together we'll stand

In that chapel by the sea

And you can make a married man, out of me.

　

 

[Two]

Fire on the mountain

Getting harder to breathe

No wall of flames though

Will be stopping me

Getting to you

Tonight...

Smoke on the highway

Can't see through the trees

Tight grip on the wheel

There's no stopping me

Getting back home

Tonight...

 

　

[Chorus]

I got a tank full of gas

No time on my hands

My pickup is loaded and ready to drive

I've come to my senses

Yeah I've changed all my plans

I'm heading back to you with only one thought on my mind,

We can make all those plans

And together we'll stand

In that chapel by the sea

And you can make a married man, out of me.

Edited December 9, 2013 by Kel

[Rudi]

Great.

 

Had a quick read through. Initial impression is 'real good'.

[jamestoffee]

^{Hi Kel,}

 

^{Good start...again}

 

^{I don't know if you are posting the lyrics for critique or not b/c you mentioned getting ready to record.....but here are some thoughts on the latest lyrics to use or toss as you see fit}

 

 

^{A Married Man - the title only appears one time in the last line of the song.  Consider getting it more in to song as a hook to ...right now the chorus reads like another verse explaining what the singer would like to have happed....or in essence is his marriage proposal....but the physical presence or lack of, remains an issue....he is by himself .....the easiest fix would be to change the last line to "And she can make a married man, out of me.".....as well as change all the "you"s to "she"s AND "her"s}

 

 

 

^[One]

 

^{I came to this mountain}

^{When SHE set ME free- Clear my head and be free}

^{SHE knew what I needed- It’s what I needed}

^{Was time just for me – A time just for me}

^{I know it was hard,}

^{For HER...}

^{This time that SHE gave me....doesn’t match with the idea of him having all his stuff in the back of the truck....that sounds like he left for good}

^{Got my mind back on track.....why the reference to a “trackâ€....is there another metaphor you can tie the thoughts together?}

^{All my thing's in the pick up}

^{It's all in the back....where he stores all his belongings isn’t adding to the story}

^{I'm on my way home....implies they were living together; which may or may not be an issue but then again if he says heading back home to you, why does he have all his stuff in the truck?......it brings up an issue of believability in the character/story}

^{To HER...}

 

^　

^[Chorus]

^{I got a tank full of gas}

^{No time on my hands......the time is at hand}

^{My pickup is loaded and ready to drive...already mentioned in the verse}

^{I've come to my senses}

^{Yeah I've changed all my plans}

^{I'm heading back to HER with only one thought on my mind,...already mentioned in the verse}

^{We can make all those plans ...what are “those†plans?...the old plans he’s changed....he said his plans are changed, but now talks about making plans with the singee}

^{And together we'll stand}

^{In that chapel by the sea}

^{And SHE can make a married man, out of me....maybe I am off on this....maybe it needs a woman’s opinion, but for me, the guy is coming off in a bad light.  It seems the message should be more “I can’t live without you†instead it’s like  â€œok you can make me a married manâ€}

^　

 

^[Two]

^{Fire on the mountain...I’m not sure how this fits in at all to the concept of the singer realizing he wants to marry the singee....the whole issue seemed to be one of internal conflict...and now the change from “man vs self†to “man vs nature† seems like two different topics for two different songs.}

^{Getting harder to breathe}

^{No wall of flames though}

^{Will be stopping me}

^{Getting to HER}

^Tonight...

^{Smoke on the highway}

^{Can't see through the trees}

^{Tight grip on the wheel}

^{There's no stopping me}

^{Getting back home}

^Tonight...

 

^　

^[Chorus]

^{I got a tank full of gas}

^{No time on my hands}

^{My pickup is loaded and ready to drive}

^{I've come to my senses}

^{Yeah I've changed all my plans}

^{I'm heading back to HER with only one thought on my mind,}

^{We can make all those plans}

^{And together we'll stand}

^{In that chapel by the sea}

^{And SHE can make a married man, out of me.}

 

 

 

 

Edited December 5, 2013 by jamestoffee

[Kel]

Thanks for your input James, but it's done and dusted now. A few minor tweaks went in to adjust for flow and rhythm, but it's in final stages of production now. Rick is doing his QC at the moment.

[Kel]

http://soundcloud.com/rick-glynn/married-man-recording-check

 

Here it is.

 

I can't say it's a "classic" Straight song, but he is doing things a litle differently these days.

 

Cheers,

 

Kel

 

Thanks to Rick Glynn of

ClairCreekProject

Edited December 9, 2013 by Kel

[jamestoffee]

Great production on the song!

[Rudi]

I like the treatment. 

 

[Kel]

All credit to Rick

[Rudi]

Had another listen. It works well with all parts supporting nicely.

 

I like it.