Challenge # 33- Aftermath Of You

[ames1212]

I took a different approach on this one. I took the elements of the storm and made it into a song about a relationship that ended badly. I took what the picture reminded me of and made it about a person. So at first it seems like it's talking about a storm, but then you realize he or she was the storm.

 

 

 

THE Aftermath of You-

By Amy Abernathy 2014

 

Wind engulfs the terrain, as a blanket on a bed.

Isolation and absence of life no words said.

The vitality was sucked up by a powerful wave.

Crashing, Thrashing and destroying the love we gave.

 

Winds severed the power lines like a giant pair of scissors.

The love that once grew now has fizzled.

Leaving only polluted waters where a love once grew.

Waves Crashing in, leaving disaster of what we knew.

 

Chorus:

If you don’t think you hit me like a storm,

Then baby just look at the debris.

My hearts in tiny pieces and you have broken me.

Now I’m living in the wreckage and the aftermath of you.

Like a hurricane you knocked me down and crushed my heart into.

Now I’m living in the wreckage and aftermath of you.

 

Now we are lifeless and in a brutal storm’s path.

Has love ever known such a furious wrath?

I thought through the rubble, we’d find hope,

Now everything’s flooded with no life rope.

 

The tsunami of emotions has flooded my mind,

My hearts been broke down slammed around and left behind.

I thought we were built on a house made of stone.

Now we are lifeless and I’m here all alone.

 

Chorus:

If you don’t think you hit me like a storm,

Then baby just look at the debris.

My hearts in tiny pieces and you have broken me.

Now I’m living in the wreckage and the aftermath of you.

Like a hurricane you knocked me down and crushed my heart into.

Now I’m living in the wreckage and aftermath of you.

 

 

I don’t know how I’ll do it,

Don’t know how to make it through,

How can I survive the aftermath of you?

 

Chorus:

If you don’t think you hit me like a storm,

Then baby just look at the debris.

My hearts in tiny pieces and you have broken me.

Now I’m living in the wreckage and the aftermath of you.

Like a hurricane you knocked me down and crushed my heart into.

Now I’m living in the wreckage and aftermath of you.

 

 

 

 

       

Edited April 26, 2014 by ames1212

[ames1212]

This was actually challenge 32 instead of 33.

[louielouwhy]

Nevertheless Ames, it expresses devastation but from a different source.  It certainly hits the nail on the head, or in your case the heart 

 

I took a different approach on this one. I took the elements of the storm and made it into a song about a relationship that ended badly. I took what the picture reminded me of and made it about a person. So at first it seems like it's talking about a storm, but then you realize he or she was the storm.

 

 

 

THE Aftermath of You-

By Amy Abernathy 2014

 

Wind engulfs the terrain, as a blanket on a bed.  - of a blanket.....

Isolation and absence of life no words said.   - because of isolation.....from no words

The vitality was sucked up by a powerful wave.    - Our vitality.....by such.....

Crashing, Thrashing and destroying the love we gave.

 

Winds severed the power lines like a giant pair of scissors.  - Their winds....our power.....scissors.

The love that once grew now has fizzled.  - .....now has withered.

Leaving only polluted waters where a love once grew.

Waves Crashing in, leaving disaster of what we knew.

 

Chorus:

If you don’t think you hit me like a storm,

Then baby just look at the debris.

My hearts in tiny pieces and you have broken me.  ....pieces, you have....

Now I’m living in the wreckage and the aftermath of you. 

Like a hurricane you knocked me down and crushed my heart into.  - into? or in two?

Now I’m living in the wreckage and aftermath of you.

 

Now we are lifeless and in a brutal storm’s path.  - Now it is all lifeless.......

Has love ever known such a furious wrath? - Has a love....

I thought through the rubble, we’d find hope,

Now everything’s flooded with no life rope. - Now this life........and there is....

 

The tsunami of emotions has flooded my mind, - The.........devastated......my mind

My hearts been broke down slammed around and left behind.

I thought we were built on a house made of stone. - I thought our house love built was that..

Now we are lifeless and I’m here all alone. - Now the address we live at is lifeless and alone.

 

Chorus:

If you don’t think you hit me like a storm,

Then baby just look at the debris.

My hearts in tiny pieces and you have broken me.

Now I’m living in the wreckage and the aftermath of you.

Like a hurricane you knocked me down and crushed my heart into.

Now I’m living in the wreckage and aftermath of you.

 

 

I don’t know how I’ll do it,

Don’t know how to make it through,

How can I survive the aftermath of you?

 

Chorus:

If you don’t think you hit me like a storm,

Then baby just look at the debris.

My hearts in tiny pieces and you have broken me.

Now I’m living in the wreckage and the aftermath of you.

Like a hurricane you knocked me down and crushed my heart into.

Now I’m living in the wreckage and aftermath of you.

 

 

 

 

       

 

with a shock.

There is good points there.  I think if you thought about the use of certain words it could be improved to explain the symbolism more accurately.  I thought the symbolism was really good. I hope that I didn't take the pleasure out of you changing on your own.  If you like it, think of me if it becomes a smash hit someday.  If I done too much, don't be afraid to let me know.

Edited May 1, 2014 by louielouwhy

[ames1212]

Hey Louie,

I liked some of your suggestions there, I may just change a few of them. Thanks for giving me a second eye to look over and give a different idea. At times you get so stuck on one phrase that a different perspective helps. Thanks for the nice comments and advice.

[louielouwhy]

I'm finding it easier to write other people's songs other than my own.  You done all the work expressing the idea.  I feel like a mere english teacher.  However, nothing valueless about them.  I wish I was talented enough to be a quality producer, I'd be popping out songs from here all over the place.  Unless I'm imagining that I'm better than I really am.