Challenge #35 Peter The Elephant

[SongWriterJoe]

Title: Peter the Rockin' Elephant © 2014 Joe Givens

(Old rock n' roll blues style - fast, upbeat)

Peter - the rockin' elephant..

Don't nobody say he can't..

Play dem rockin' rollin' rowdy blues.

Playin' da piano.. never miss his cue..

Rock it Peter, all night long..

Play those rockin' rollin' songs..

If ya doubt me.. sit down fo' a few..

Ol' Peter the star will knock some out fo' you!

Rockin' rollin' Peter plays..

Da ivories all da livelong day..

It don't matter what yo' point o' view..

Just bang dem keys an' Peter play along wit youuuu.

Play it again Peter.. Oh, yeah.....

(The file below is a rough acapella of me singing this song done on android tablet.)

recording-530568969.mp3

Edited May 18, 2014 by SongWriterJoe

[jamestoffee]

Hi Joe,

 

Good start,

 

The lyrics flow along nicely.  I hadn't thought of it before, but an elephant playing the "ivories" is quite ironic.

 

The 3rd line of V2 and V3 seem a bit out of place; maybe too defensive, as if the singer is arguing a point...but it's a minor quibble.

 

Thanks for sharing.

 

James

[SongWriterJoe]

Hmmm, thanks, James.. I think V2 and V3 may be in reverse order, come to think of it. Editing..

Edited May 17, 2014 by SongWriterJoe

[SongWriterJoe]

V3 line 3 alternative:

'See it fo' yo' self, you'll know it's true..'

Fits better into the song theme. Sorry, sometimes a bit too much of a perfectionist here. I gotta do it until it just 'feels right'!

Ditto for line 4 in V3, changing 'play' to 'rock'. Either works, but Peter's rockin', after all!

Edited May 17, 2014 by SongWriterJoe

[jamestoffee]

so if that's the sentiment you are going for......maybe play it up a bit more as the ring leader/announcer/promoter of a carnival/circus show......Come see the one and only...amazing....stupefying....limitlessly talented....etc......focusing on the "must see" factor of the performer/performance

[ames1212]

Title: Peter the Rockin' Elephant

(Old rock n' roll blues style - fast, upbeat)

Peter - the rockin' elephant..

Don't nobody say he can't..

Play dem rockin' rollin' rowdy blues.

Playin' da piano.. never miss his cue..

Rock it Peter, all night long..

Play those rockin' rollin' songs..

If ya doubt me.. sit down fo' a few..

Ol' Peter the star will knock some out fo' you!

Rockin' rollin' Peter plays..

Da ivories all da livelong day..

It don't matter what yo' point o' view..

Just bang dem keys an' Peter play along wit youuuu.

Play it again Peter.. Oh, yeah.....

(The file below is a rough acapella of me singing this song done on android tablet.)

recording-530568969.mp3

I liked it, it has a fun vibe to it. I can tell you had fun with it.

[SongWriterJoe]

Thanks Amy. Yeah, that is what I was trying for, something kinda humorous, but not losing the theme, and as jamestoffee noted, I used a bit of tongue-in-cheek irony when I mentioned "playin' da ivories" - punnish, but forgivable ;-). Now if I'd written this intending to 'sell' it, I would have also talked about his "dancin'", "swayin' to the beat", and "playin' his trumpet". But yeah, this was mainly for fun, and to knock the cobwebs off my creative side. When I found this challenge section in the forums, thought it would be a great place to start. *Tips black Stetson.

[SongWriterJoe]

Before I forget about this (and probably would, as I just turned the tender young age of 59 today! Lol) I want to thank everyone, including the site staff, for the unusually warm welcome and acceptance shown me here. That is a rare thing nowadays to find such cameraderie, especially in such a cutthroat, highly competitive biz as the music scene. Thank you. It almost brought a tear to the corner of this ol' songwriter's eye.

Of course, there are always naysayers and those who will try to 'put you back in your place, because you haven't paid your dues.' I've even seen a little of that here. Guess what. Dues have been paid, with interest, and I'm ready for that next step. And though I have been to college, my most useful education has been in the "University of Hard Knox", of which I am most certainly an alumnus, having been conferred the honor of being class valedictorian!

Again, on a more serious 'note' (ever the punster!). Thanks, guys.

Edited May 18, 2014 by SongWriterJoe

[jamestoffee]

Happy Birthday, Joe! 

 

   

[SongWriterJoe]

Thanks James, Amy!

[ames1212]

Hey Joe, I felt the same way you did, this site has lots to offer. Welcome aboard and happy Birthday!